The Wisdumb of Sleep


I woke up in the middle of the night and was writing my blog in my head.  The only line I can remember now went something like:

“Daddy is a Friggin’ Genius and Mama Ain’t no Slouch”

Of course, at 3 am in the dark this phrase seemed a lot funnier.

Peanuts thought it was hilarious. (Peanuts being my brain’s nickname for itself.) I must admit that Peanuts is usually funnier when asleep. Here’s another line Peanuts came up with while sleeping:

“Goats on the Skids”

I thought maybe I could make this the title of a novel about a group of fun-loving goats who had fallen on hard economic times. I plan to run it by Peanuts next time I’m asleep.

Ne-er do well goat
Baa-aaa-ddy can you spare a dime?

I remember once reading about how you can program your subconscious mind to solve problems for you if you pose a question for it just before drifting off.

So one night I asked Peanuts if it would be kind enough to think of a way I could make a million dollars. I fell asleep and dreamed about a new invention:

“The underwater bicycle”

Which proves two things:

1) You really can program you’re subconscious mind
2) to come up with a lot of stupid ideas.

underwater bicycle
"Hey! She stole my idea!"

Of course, my family is never ever going to quit teasing me about The Underwater Bicycle idea.

Fine. It’s well worth the ribbing if it will keep them occupied and off the streets for another day.

I also hold the family record for making the lamest joke in the history of the Vernon Family.

We were driving on a steep, winding road near Yosemite, and we met a couple of gray-haired guys in a Model A going the other way. So I quipped, “Hope your brakes hold there, Joe.” OK, maybe it wasn’t a quip, as such, but hey — at least I tried. Somebody had to say something for heaven sakes!

Can I help it if Peanuts hadn’t thought up “Goats on the Skids” yet?

Until next time . . . I love you

2 thoughts on “The Wisdumb of Sleep

  1. I love the things my brain comes up with when sleeping or just waking up. I remember as a kid waking up and running down to your room to pound on the door and shout at you that ” I left my green shoes at Kristin’s house!!!” I knew MID SENTENCE that not only was that a stupid thing to pound on the door about, but that I didn’t have green shoes.

    I still think the under water bicycle idea is legit. Talk about a work out!

  2. I remember the time you got all ready for school including all your makeup on and came out into the kitchen, opened the fridge and started looking for something for breakfast which would have been great had it not been 11:00 at night. I said, “what are you doing Jackie.” and you started to explain and then realized it wasn’t the next day yet and went back to bed!

Please leave a comment. I need help finishing my sentences.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s