Do You Suffer from Skin Jogging Syndrome?

An Advertisement from the makers of Plathamath

Like millions of Americans, Sharon was unaware that she suffered 24/7 from a skin disorder so debilitating she didn’t even know she had it.

Then one day Sharon read about Skin Jogging Syndrome (SJS).  SJS is a syndrome so insidious, so sneaky, and so downright underhanded that there is absolutely no way to tell if you have it.

“I feel somethin’ WEIRD!
 

Sharon closed her eyes and thought about what it would feel like if her skin was jogging.  And guess what?  The longer she thought about it, the more she thought she could feel her skin jogging; just a little at first . . . and then – yes!  She was sure of it.  Her skin was definitely jogging.  Well no wonder her life was such a mess!

So imagine Sharon’s joy when she found out there was a pill for that!

The Pill for That!
 

It’s called PLATHAMATH!

The makers of Plathamath believe that no one should suffer from Skin Jogging Syndrome simply because they don’t know they have it.

Plathamath taken just twice in the morning, twice at lunch, twice in the afternoon, twice after dinner and then every five minutes until bedtime – will prevent your skin from jogging for a full six hours!

Just this many for SIX FULL HOURS of relief
 

Taken as directed, Plathamath will not only relieve you of your annoying skin jogging sensations, it will relieve you of ALL your sensations!

“I feel absolutely sensational-less!”

Now millions of people are enjoying life again just like they did before they ever heard of Skin Jogging Syndrome.

“Thank you Plathamath for giving me back my life.”

 

So talk to your doctor about Plathamath. (Go ahead and call him right now . . . It’s not that late . . . he won’t mind, really!)

Important Safety Information for Plathamath 

Stop taking Plathamath if you suddenly experience difficulty warbling, sneezing or churning butter. 

Plathamath is not recommended for people who have a history of uncontrollable whittling, elbows that bend both ways, or who are overly interested in France.

Tell your doctor immediately should you slip into a coma lasting longer than seven or eight months.

If you have a tendency to explode without warning, talk to your doctor about whether Plathamath is right for you.

 Studies have shown that combining Plathamath with certain types of other medications such as Cyanide Capsules or Lethal Injections could lead to death and, therefore, is not recommended.

If this happens and you’re not saluting the flag, or singing Ava Maria.

Call 911!

Discontinue Plathamath altogether if you experience an uncontrollable urge to pull over to the side of the road before getting out of bed in the morning.

“Aren’t you going to put on your blinker?”   

“No, I thought you were driving.”

 

In rare cases Plathamath has been known to severely affect judgment concerning lint or lint-related issues.

“This is lint is it not?”

 

If this happens, go to the emergency room immediately and please, PLEASE do not operate any heavy machinery on the way there.

Plathamath . . .  

 . . . Giving you back the quality of life you never knew was missing.

Until next time . . . I love you

Signs You’ve Been Spending Too Much Time With Your Dog

How to Tell if You Are Spending Too Much Time with Your Dog

You find yourself rolling over three times before eating a cookie.

The only place you really feel comfortable anymore is in somebody’s lap.

You watch the Discovery Channel for the bones

You refuse to eat any vegetable that doesn’t squeak.

 If you sit; you stay.

 You cruise the park for squirrels more often than you would care to admit.

 You’ve given up knitting for gnawing.

 You often howl inappropriately.

You hate yourself for sucking up to the butcher, but you can’t stop.

 You take a perverse pleasure in the movie The Postman Always Rings Twice.

 You’re a closet cat chaser.

 Your garbage is starting to smell rather appealing.

 Your new website is called: Tennis Balls! Tennis Balls!  Tennis Balls!  Tennis Balls! Tennis Balls! Tennis Balls! Tennis Balls.com

Until next time . . . I love you