Dear Readers! What a treat we have in store for us today! The Vegetable Lady has been kind enough to stop by the blog and answer some of our most pressing vegetable questions!
Our first question, Vegetable Lady, comes to us from Reader, Phillip Flep, who asks: what is your favorite way to prepare tomatoes?
Tomatoes? Golly Jeepers whenever I think of tomatoes, I always think of Christmas because that’s when Daddy, before he got lost at sea, would bring in a big platter of tomatoes, graham crackers and chocolate and Mommy would set the Christmas tree on fire, and we’d make Smores!
Before Daddy bit into his, he would always say “If I never see you again I love you,” but Golly Jeepers! Mother and I could never figure out if he was talking to us or to the Smores.
This next question comes to us from Reader, Agamemnon Applebee, who asks: What’s the best way to get peas out of their pods?
Golly Jeepers it took Mother and I so long to figure that out! Right after Daddy got lost at sea, we were awfully impoverished, so we had to live off peas until Mother and I joined the circus.
Golly Jeepers! It wasn’t easy to figure out how to get peas out of their pods until one day Mother borrowed a microscope and found out there was a teeny-tiny zipper in each pod! Golly Jeepers! I finally had time to get back to my sword swallowing practice after we found that out!
Our last question comes from Reader, Toots Tubaleeno, who asks: What’s the best way to roast corn on the cob?
Well, after Mother and I joined the circus, Mother started roasting all our corn on the cob by positioning the cob between her teeth while performing her flame juggling routine! Golly Jeepers that was some good corn!
One night Mother set her beard on fire, which totally ruined her moonlighting job as the bearded lady in the freak show. But Golly Jeepers! Mother sure went out on a lot more dates after that.
So let’s get this straight, Vegetable Lady, you’re telling us that your father was lost at sea, you set your Christmas Tree on fire every year to roast tomato smores, your mother is a bearded flame juggler and you swallow swords in your spare time?
Golly Jeepers! When you put it that way it does sound a little strange. I forgot to explain that I never swallow swords that don’t have a carrot stuck to the end! Oh I’m so glad I remembered to add that! Golly Jeepers! You would have thought I was pretty weird!
Well thank you for answering some questions for us today Vegetable Lady!
Golly Jeepers! You’re welcome!
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Until next time, I love you
Linda Vernon Humor 
I absolutely adore the vegetable lady drawing. She reminds me of a Yellow Submarine character – I think it’s the pants suit. 🙂
Oh she kind of does look like a Yellow Submarine character. I thought she look familiar Erin! HA! Good call! 😀
Vegetable Lady, I think you are an impostor. You used a net in that circus act and you weren’t even flying on a trapeze.
LOL! Ronnie!!! If it’s possible to OD on vegetables, I think the Vegetable Lady has OD’d and then some. 😀
Heeey now hold on! I’ve been peeling green beans all this while with an itty bitty knife when i could of found a zipper?? Why wasn’t that listed at the store?? Mph! No tomato smores for them! >:\
LOL! Oh Andy! I feel so sorry for your eyes straining with that microscopic knife, carefully cutting all this time and here all along you could have used the zipper. Mph!! (I”m stealing that expression, I love it, hope you don’t mind)!!
Mph! I don’t mind at all Linda, now as for cutting? *grumble* *grumble*
Haha! Well, I hate to break it to you, but you can just tear along the perforated lines you know. 😀
Ya, I could but then you got these darn green stringy thingies that just make a mess 😛
Oh that’s right! And they leave stains too. Gosh I hate those thingies!! 😀
Yep, nothing like having to make a mess just to make a dish that takes 5 mins to cook and only 2 mins to get wolfed down, sigh! the joys and headaches of cooking lol
So true! I wish someone would invent an attractive clear plastic outfit that perfectly covers your real cloths and you could just wear it all day!
Sure would be! without looking like a glorified ziplock bag that is 😀
Hey You just gave me an idea for next Year’s Halloween party!
A giant ziplock bag with holes for legs and arms? XD
Hahahaha!! LOL!
LOL!!! You’re always one step ahead Andrew!!
Oh I misread peas and green beans, eh. They look the same to me but don’t tell them that, I don’t discriminate vegetable 😛
I always took you for an equal opportunity Veggie guy! I think the green beans are the ones with the little tiny velcro openings. But an easy mistake to make! 😀
oooooooooh green beans get velcro and peas get zippers? ~Glances at great goddess zippora with a glare~ sheesh! 😛
Lol Andy!, you crack me up!! Hahaha!!
It’s her fault! she discriminated peas from green beans! just saying! *POINT POINT POINT*
Haha! It’s usually not polite to point, but in the Vegetable Lady’s case it’s perfectly acceptable (and she’s used to it!)
mmmm! I wonder what other hidden secrets there are to these veggies that I don’t know about 😛
Oh the vegetable lady has a wicked past! One of these days the shocking truth will emerge!
On the next post right! ;P
Yes definitely !! Thanks for giving me the idea!
Thank you for this…. I think. I’m…. well, it was interesting, let’s leave it at that…. and, if I ever hear, or see, the words, “Golly Jeepers” again, I may become even more homicidal than I am now….
🙂
LOL!! You know what I want to say to your comment don’t you, Ned. It’s two words. One starts with G and the second one starts with J. But I won’t write it out because I value my life! 😀
Dear Vegetable Lady – I think you’re beautiful with your eggplant shaped head poised atop your celery stick nect, but alas, I am in love with an asparagus.
Hey hair and her outfit look like celery which is really cool… and appropriate.
Haha! She’s the spitting image of health — emphasis on the spit! 😀
are you sure she’s a vegetable lady? lol
Haha!! Well, I’m sure about the vegetable part, but I’m not sure about the “lady” part!
lol!
LOL! Tomato S’mores!! YUM! The vegetable lady’s eyes look very bright and her teeth look very white and healthy – I’m guessing it’s from all those vegetables?
Ha!! Her teeth are quite white from the vegetables I would imagine. But the tomato smores have a tendency to build up between her teeth — so it’s a wash! (Maybe I should send her some mouthwash for her Birthday!)