Hello Dear Readers. It seems the cold, cruel calendar ushered in the Fourth of July this morning before I even got out of bed! The calendar is such a tyrant.
Which brings us to another kind of tyranny (albeit in an ineptly worded segue). One that we Americans had foisted upon us on the Fourth of July 200- odd years ago by the British Empire — resulting in the Declaration of Independence!
I’d look up exactly how many years ago it was, but I think google’s closed today. . . okay, okay I’ll try . . .
Atrocities the British Empire inflicted on the American Colonists that resulted in the Declaration of Independence
(Turns out Google is open but judging from the following answers, it’s got the temps working):
The British Empire kept messing with the price of crumpets causing the colonists all kinds of unpleasant menu-planning issues.
The Colonists did not want to be bullied into memorizing a list of all of England’s past kings in American public schools.
If the Colonists hadn’t declared their independence, they would have had to wake up from their siestas early (see Spanish-American War) for tea time (see Atrocities of the British Empire)
The Colonists had a premonition they weren’t going to appreciate the humor of Monty Python.
The Colonists picked up on the fact that the British Empire thought they wore lame clothes and were borderline dirty.
The British Empire imposed a tax on Nursery Rhymes which infuriated the colonists due to the fact that none of them even really rhyme.
American Colonists were vehemently opposed to using the word “row” instead of the word “fight” like the British Empire kept nagging them to do.
Well, Dear Readers, that about does it for the Fourth of July post. I don’t know about you, but I’m already 4th-ed out!
Until next time . . . I love you