Weird! My Back and Computer Are Both Out!

Welcome Dear Readers!  I have good news and bad news.

First the Bad News

I was flabbergasted to turn on my computer this morning and find absolutely everything on it wiped away.  All my pictures, my documents, my bookmarks –well just everything (even the restore settings).  I’d be really upset about it, but frankly. . .

The Good News

I’m kinda glad.

True Confession Time 

I am a computer slob.  Day after day, as I write my posts, I’ll scan in stuff from the thrift store, or fool around with pictures in Publisher or fiddle with Word documents only to leave everything lying around on the floor of my desktop.  When things finally get unmanageable, I shove everything in a folder and label it miscellaneous.

My Husband, 37, Isn’t Speaking to Me at the Moment

Naturally when I first turned on my computer this morning and found everything eerily “clean”  and an old computer screen greeting me that I haven’t seen since 2009, I knew something was terribly wrong.  Then I remembered 37 turned off my computer last night!  Which meant I had someone to blame!  Wonderful!

I just called 37 at the office a minute ago and the conversation when like this:

37:  Hello

Me:  Did you turn off the computer last night?

37:  Yes why?

Me:  How did you turn it off, using the mouse or using the button?  (37  knew what I was talking about because we often use cutting-edge computer terms such as this.)

37:  Using the mouse.

Me.  Everything is gone.

37:  What?

Me:  Everything is gone. (I had a lot of fun being dramatic about it, btw.)

37:  You got a virus! We’ll have to take the hard drive in! (In where he didn’t say.)

Me:  Oh no!  We’re getting a new computer!

37:  Oh no we’re not!

Me:  Oh yes we are!

37:  Oh yes we are!

Me:  Oh no we’re not!

37:  I’m hanging up now.

Me:  Oh yes you are!

Maybe I’ll try calling 37 back right now.

Only we won’t tell him that I am writing everything down he says in this post! Want to? Okay here goes:

37:  Hello (hey he’s still speaking to me!)

Me:  I want a new computer.

37:  Why are you laughing?

Me:  No reason.  Why can’t we get a new computer?

37:  There’s nothing wrong with the computer we have! We’ll just have to back everything up.

Me:  We have Carbonite and everything is backed up.  Besides there’s nothing left on the computer to back up. (I got all dramatic again, Dear Reader –just for your benefit.)

37:  You better go check.

Me:  Check what?

37:  I don’t know.  I have to work all week-end by the way.

Okay, well, that wasn’t as much fun as I thought it would be.  Anyway, let’s scan a picture now and see if the scanner still works, ready?

Let's use this one.  Let's call her Computer Virus Girl.  Let's make up a poem about her.
Hey it worked! Let’s call her Computer Virus Girl. Let’s make up a poem about her.

There once was a computer virus Lady

She’s always game to be pretty shady . . . ouch!! ow!! ouch!!

I’m sorry Dear Readers, you’ll have to excuse me but in the middle of this poem I got up to go get a banana, and I am not kidding you.  I put my back out!!  (Just as well.  The poem wasn’t going very well anyway.)

Now, I’ll have to make an appointment at urgent care!  I’d wonder if they’d mind taking a look at my computer too . . .

Anyway, wish me luck!

Until next time . . . I love you

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No More Youtube Videos Consisting of Blank Visuals!

Trenton Babbage Enterprises

 

Take that blog post title gurus – you know who you think you are. Ever since starting this blog – the second time around – I’ve wanted the soundcloud thing to be shown rather than have to piss about with youtube…now I have managed it. And as a special treat it’s read by me, Trenton Babbage, in a slightly dramatic voice yes, but I did that for dramatic purposes.

It’s a parody of Edgar Allan Poe’s poem The Raven. My words and glossary are below, and an outtake may be released at a later date.

Enjoy!

 

 

The Pigeon

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered palaeognathae,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of the Pigeon Lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
`’Tis some visitor,’ I muttered, `tapping at my…

View original post 1,272 more words

Friday Fictioneers: Harvey and Delores Buy a New Rowboat

Welcome Dear Readers to Friday Fictioneers where participants write a 100-word story about the picture below, while at the same time going over Niagara Falls in a barrel with nothing but a laptop, a flashlight and a deep desire to be creative.

Here’s this week’s cool picture taken by Janet Webb over at her blog, This That and The Other Thing:

Copyright Janet Webb
Copyright Janet Webb

Harvey and Delores Buy a New Rowboat

“I just love Global Warming, Harvey!  I’ve lost ten pounds already on my all-fish diet!”

“You look great, Delores.  Love your shoes!”

“Thanks. I got them at Just Galoshes!”

“Oh no!  Delores!  Our new rowboat’s sprung a leak!”

“What? Where’d you get it? Oh don’t tell me!  Al Gore’s Rowboat Palace and Oar Emporium?”

“Yes.”

“Please say you got a life-time warranty, Harvey.”

“No.”

“A two-year, no-leak service plan?”

“No.”

“A 30-day guarantee?”

“No.”

“Did you get anything?”

“Just a pat on the back and two-week’s free Internet service.”

“That’s it?”

“And Al’s personal assurance.”

“Which was?”

“You’ll never Tipper!”

"Come buy my rowboats!"
“Come buy my rowboats!  Yeah!”

* * *

Thank you Rochelle Wisoff-Fields over at Addicted to Purple for faithfully hosting this super-fun challenge each and every week.

And if you haven’t tried your hand at Friday Fictioneers, Dear Readers, I highly recommend it  —  if you’re a bit squeamish about going over Niagara Falls in a barrel — I’m pretty sure that part’s optional. (But double-check with Rochelle, just to be on the save side, huh?)

Until next time . . . I love you

Thanksgiving in Hell — Sometime in the Near Future

Welcome Dear Readers to this weekend’s Trifecta writing challenge.  Today we are challenged to write 33 about this Rolling Stones video of the song: Sympathy for the Devil

Thanksgiving in Hell — Sometime in the Near Future

Mr. and Mrs. Devil and their kids, Deviled-Egg, and Deviled-Ham, piled into their Chevy Corvair.  They were off to Grandma Evil’s for a delicious Thanksgiving dinner of Mick Jagger and the Rolling Stones!

Until next time . . . I love you

It’s Friday! Screw It! Let’s Crochet!

Welcome Dear Readers.  It’s Friday.  Which means you can either continue working on that lemon car you’re assembling or you can take a break with me to look for some interesting crocheting projects in this 1984 edition of Annie’s Pattern Club Magazine that I found at the thrift store.

Humorous Crocheting Projects Linda Vernon Humor
Don’t you just love it already? Let’s open it up and see what great crocheting and knitting projects Annie has for us, shall we?

Just when you thought your toilet couldn’t get any more beautiful!

Funny Needlecraft projects
What better way to crochet away the blues!

Leave it to Annie to flush out this fabulous crocheting project through the process of elimination!  After crocheting a cozy for every single thing in her bathroom, nothing was left cozy-less but the toilet and a bottle of Pepto Bismal (instructions for a Pepto Bismal bottle cozy  were probably in the next edition).

I think you’ll have to agree there’s nothing quite as uplifting as lifting up the lid of your toilet and finding a fresh-as-daisy Daisy that you lovingly crafted all by yourself!

Hey!  Here’s a little crocheting project sure to get any little boy singing your praises:

funny crocheting projects Linda Vernon Humor
Oh yeah?  Who says crocheting isn’t cool?

Of course, we all know there’s nothing little boys of a certain age love to do more than flip up their collars, pick up a crocheted microphone and crone crone crone to their heart’s content — providing they didn’t leave said heart in San Francisco, that is!

Let’s face it, there isn’t a little boy on earth who, upon receiving a crocheted microphone for his birthday wouldn’t tear up!  Just before kicking you in the shins and running away from home, but still!

Crochet your way to total enlightenment!

"Come on!  You've always wanted a crocheted lamp, admit it!
“Come on! You know you’ve always wanted a crocheted lamp, admit it!

It’s a crying shame that it took someone until the year 1984 to come up with the idea of crocheting a lamp when Thomas Edison invented the electrical light way back in 1879!  And you have to ask yourself why?  Why were the crocheters of the past so out of sync with the creation and evolution of electricity?

Was it because crocheters didn’t have electric lamps or was it be because Thomas Edison didn’t know how to crochet?  Chances are, unless the science channel really gets hard up for programming, we’ll never know the answer to these questions and a lot of other stupid questions.  Either way, please try not to let it ruin your weekend!

And there you have it Dear Readers!  Now that we’ve found some worthy crocheting projects, I’ll let you get back to assembling that lemon car.

Until next time . . . I love you

Friday Fictioneers: Brunhilda’s Amphitheater

Welcome Dear Readers to Friday Ficitoneers where writers are challenged to write a 100-word story about the picture that’s posted each week .  

Here’s this week’s picture:

Copyright Sandra Crook
Copyright Sandra Crook

Brunhilda’s Amphitheater 

 With an amphitheater in her backyard, Brunhilda lacked for nada

She’d climb to the top of the stairs each day and eat an enchilada

With an amphitheater in her backyard, Brunhilda bought a slinky

She’d let it go at the top of the stairs then watch til it got dinky

With an amphitheater in her backyard, Brunhilda had the audacity

For giving parties of 5,000 or more because, hey! She had the capacity

With an amphitheater in her backyard, Brunhilda thanked the gods

Because having an amphitheater so close, I mean really now — what are the odds?

This week’s picture was brought to us via the courtesy of Sandra Crook’s camera. Thank you Sandra!   And, of course, thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields over at Addicted to Purple who sets up this super-fun challenges for everyone each week.

 Until next time  . . . I love you

Trifecta Writing Challenge: Creature Comfort Food

This weekends 33-word Trifecta Challenge is to look at the picture and write about what happens next:

swamp_illustration

Creature Comfort Food 

What’s for dinner mommy?

Creature from the Black Lagoon stir fry. 

I hate creature from the Black Lagoon stir fry, why can’t daddy ever go fishing in a lake.

Because Daddy hates fish.

Unitl next time . . . I love you