If you want to find out where all old people go in my neighborhood, (and why wouldn’t you?) look no farther than Nob Hill Grocery Store. (Otherwise known as Nob Over the Hill Grocery Store).
I shop there because they carry all the geezer stuff we aging boomers have to have to ward off heart disease, type-2 diabetes, osteoporosis, lactose intolerance, high cholesterol, warts and gangrene.
Judging from the age of the shopping crowd at Nob Hill, every day is senior discount day.
This means there’s a lot of oblivion happening in the isles which takes the form of obstruction.
Either there’s a motorized cart blocking the aisle you want to go down or an aging big-butt boomer (me) blocking the cold case you want to reach in.
Which is perfectly fine as long as you don’t have too much to grab and you don’t have to be anywhere, in particular, until next summer.
Besides, I don’t want to go shopping for no-sugar-added chocolate chip mint ice cream all over town when I’m sure Nob Hill will have it. Which means I find myself paying practically twice as much for ordinary foodstuffs like Cheerios or pop. (In case you’re not that old, pop is an old-fashioned word for sarsaparilla.)
So I can never get in and out of Nob Hill for under $100 — even if I’m just dashing in to pick up a carton of unsweetened, vanilla-flavored, almond milk.
Checking out is pleasant enough — if not a teeny condescending.
The checkers tend to speak a little too loud, and take the items out of the cart for you. (But I suspect only to avoid having to call 911 should some unfortunate boomer’s back suddenly seize up).
Also, the checkers tend to give you a lot of instructions on which buttons to push when sliding your card. “Push the green button now.” “Do you see the green button?” “Push the green button.” “Can you say green?”
Yesterday, when the Bagger and I were trying to find my car in the parking lot, he suggested I do what all their other slightly-senile customers do – click my car alarm.
I wanted to say, “Hey buster! I’m that old yet!” but didn’t because apparently I’m too old to know how to turn on my car alarm using my key thingy.
In fact, I don’t even know if I have a car alarm. I didn’t tell him that though. I do have my pride.
Until Next time . . . I love you
10 thoughts on “Adventures in Grandma Land or Old Fogey Finds Car!”
I love me some sarsaparilla!
Do they carry Dr. Brown’s Cel-Ray?
Of course they do. It reminds us all of when we were teenagers back in 1868. Ok, I had to look that up on Wikipedia but let’s just pretend I didn’t!
I can only imagine what happens if one person falls and can’t get up. Must start a chain reaction like dominoes.
Oh God Rob you’re making me laugh so hard I could pee my pants (good thing I’m wearing Depends!)
LOL…..in my neighborhood the old timers shop at Trader Joe’s. They arrive just in time for lunch,and surround the lady who cooks up the free samples. Seriously, they will not let anyone else near her. Great post!
That is so funny. I went to Trader Joes just a little while ago and there was a 120 year old man holding up the line because he was telling the checker how there’s a town in New York state made entirely out of stone! So you learn something new everyday: there’s a town in New York State made entirely out of stone and avoid Trader Joe’s at lunchtime like the plague! Thanks for stopping by Jo! 🙂
Hmmm, ‘just wondering: what is the border between boomer and geezer?
And will the politicians build a fence to separate them from entering mainstream America?
Oh I love that idea! Yes a fence, or maybe a huge corral with boomers in one and geezers in the other. And the line between a boomer and a geezer is . . . you know What? I may have to make a list up about that one. Thanks for the idea Ronnie!
The opening picture alone made me LMAO.
Well that makes my day! 🙂