Welcome Dear Readers! Today, if you’re not feeling a little nauseous already, I thought it might be fun to flip through this House Beautiful Magazine from everyone’s favorite icky decade: The Slightly Creepy Seventies!
But what kind of a focal point? Hm. . . .
Now let’s turn to the next page shall we? Ready? (I’ll wait if you want to pop a Pepto Bismal.)
Now, this room is a good example of what happened back in the 70’s when your Slightly-Creepy Seventies Interior Decorator scarfed down a big bowl of yellow chrysanthemums and washed it down with a great big pitcher of ice-cold LSD for breakfast and then rushed over and redecorated your family room while in the throws of a cheerfulness overdose.
Actually, Cheerfulness Overdose was a common problem in the Slightly Creepy Seventies. In fact, more interior decorators were buried with huge grins on their faces in the Slightly Creepy Seventies than any other decade in history!
So I guess you could say there’s an upside to everything.
Hey! Look what awaits us on the next page . . .
And speaking of rocking chairs on the beach, I think I vaguely remember a Brady Bunch Episode involving a rocking chair/beach incident: I’ll try to retell it as best I can from memory:
Mike Brady: MarshaMarshaMarsha! Peter! Greg! Cindy! and Whatever the rest of your names are! We’ve driven 87 hours and we are finally at the beach!
MarshaMarshMarsha: But Dad, we live somewhere in LA. Why did it take us 87 hours to get here? The Pacific Ocean is just down the street.
Mike Brady: What?
Carol Brady: Oh Mike, you did it again. Hahahahahaha! You turned left when you should have turned right! Hahahahaha! We’re not at the Pacific Ocean, children, we’re at the Atlantic Ocean! Hahahahahaha!
Mike Brady: Hahahahahahahahahaha!
Alice: Hahahahahaha! I’ll lug the rocking chair down to the beach while you Bradys wait in the car and laugh.
Carol Brady: Hahahhahaha—
Alice: Wait a minute! Hold the landphone! The rocking chair’s not here! Somebody forgot it! I’m not one to point fingers but I think it was MarshaMarshaMarsha.
Mike Brady: Well, kids, it looks like we’re turning around and driving 87 hours home to get it. Hahahhahaha.
Carol Brady: But wait Mike, you left MarshaMarshaMarsha at the Atlantic Ocean.
Mike Brady: Hahahahhahahaha!
Carol Brady: Hahahahahahaha!
Say now, this next item looks interesting.
Her name was Betty Knowles and she lost 4 pounds and 6 inches off her waist in only eight days back in the Slightly Creepy Seventies using this lever and pulley exercise contraption. Unfortunately, once Betty got it all set up and herself situated inside of it, she could never figure out how to get out. Eight days later Betty was not only much, much slimmer, but also, she wasn’t wasting valuable time breathing or having a pulse anymore. Unfortunately she wasn’t found until last week about a quarter to five.
Sure, it was a sad Slightly Creepy Seventies demise for poor Betty Knowles, but the good news is she has been chosen as the main attraction at the Smithsonian Institute’s much anticipated upcoming exhibit: Mummified Peoples of the Slightly Creepy Seventies.
Proving once again there’s an upside to everything!
Well, Dear Readers, that’s it for today. If you need me I’ll be down at the Pacific Ocean. I’ll be the one sitting in the rocking chair eating a big bowl of yellow chrysanthemums.
Until next time . . . I love you