My Brain, Peanuts, Thinks Up a Magazine

Dear Readers.  I love thumbing through magazines of every kind: old, new, big, little, digested, undigested.  I’ve always thought it would be fun to start up a magazine of my own. So I put My Brain Peanuts to work on it, and, Dear Readers, I think you will agree that Peanuts came up with an idea for a magazine that has a lot of potential!

Peanuts simply took a prestigious magazine like the Smithsonian:

Smithsonian Magazine LInda Vernon Humor

And combined it with a cutting-edge style magazine, such as Elle:

The New Mood, Cover of Elle Magazine satire, Linda Vernon Humor

And Viola!  

Smithsonian Magazine plus Elle Magazine Linda Vernon Humor

Of course no magazine is complete without a staff of writers.  The vision of my brain, Peanuts is to have Sm Elle Magazine written by the most important, Über-sophisticated, magazine writers of the 21st Century.  Here’s My Brain Peanuts’s fantasy writing staff for Sm Elle Magazine:

Lifestyle Editor:

Carreen La Leelee La Pew

Writer for Sm Elle Magazine:  Linda Vernon Humor

Lifestyle Editor, Carreen, has been dramatically flitting to and fro between Paris and London ever since first learning how to flit at the tender age of three.  In her travels, Carreen literally inhales cutting-edge lifestyle trends– and exhales them upon the very latest, cutting-edge version of her Apple Ipad.

When asked why, at such a young age,  Carreen has made it to the pinnacle of magazine-writing sophistication, she explained in third person, “Carreen La Leelee La Pew his risen to the top by utilizing french words like brioche and chignon in every single sentence.

Food Critic

Owen Henry Charles Buckingworth, III

Pretentious man who writes for a magazine, Linda Vernon Humor

With a track record of not liking a single meal since 1994, Mr. Buckingworth’s  taste in sophisticated cuisine — as well as his actual taste buds themselves — are so hard to please, he has only been actually full once in his life after a particularly well-done mac and cheese dinner his mother (of all people!) prepared for him when all the stars aligned on November 2, 1994 at 2:45 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.

Owen Henry Charles Buckingworth, III credits his journalistic tendencies to his junior  high school English teacher, Mr. Blump, who encouraged Buckingworth to enter an International Punctuation Contest, and Buckingworth took home the Winner’s Trophy — by accident — but still!

Health and Beauty Editor

Carla Rothchild-Doink


For such an important and influential writer in the field of health and beauty, Carla Rothchild-Doink believes in keeping a low profile.  Literally.  Consequently Ms. Rothchild-Doink has never been photographed standing up.

“One’s profile is the side-view of what a person looks like from the side.” Ms. Rothchild-Doink is fond of saying and goes so far as to call this her “signature saying.” 

In addition to dedicating her life to eating healthy foods, getting enough exercise, and brushing her hair a 100 times before going to bed, Carla Rothchild-Doink can be found on her days off, crawling on her hands and knees in the ocean thus keeping her hands and knees as soft as, but a little more puckered than, a baby’s.

Well, there you have it, Dear Readers!  My brain, Peanuts, fantasy magazine!

Until next time . . . I love you

Screw It Monday

Hello Dear Readers!  Now I know it’s Monday, and we Go-Get-‘er Americans are always supposed to be productive as all get out on Mondays or at least look like we are, but today Dear Readers, I say screw it! (Yes, I’m even pulling out the word “screw”  –sometimes I get in a mood and there’s no holding me back!)

What’s say we recklessly thumb through an old book instead, shall we?

Here’s a book I found  at the thrift store. (Quelle surprise !)  It’s entitled Horizon.  But it’s really more like a magazine. It’s a collection of random topics and pictures.  Here’s the cover:

Horizon, American Heritage Publishing Company Linda Vernon Humor
The book says this portrait is called A Lady with a Pink.  It is the work of Hans Memling from the 15th century,  which means it was either painted in the 1400’s or the 1600’s. I can never get that straight, but then again, that’s the least of my problems. Let’s just take a wild guess and say it was painted in 1473 and be done with it.  There now, wasn’t that easy?

Okay, now let’s imagine a dialogue between Hans Memling and his wife right after he showed her  A Lady with a Pink:

Wife:  Honey It’s adorable! Ah!  I just love that little spit curl at the top of her forehead.

Hans:  Thank you.

Wife: But, honey, may I make a suggestion?  Don’t you think her head’s a skosh too big? I mean doesn’t she look like she’s got a five-head going on?

Hans:  What? No! Her head really looks like that.

Wife:  Okay,  but I think you might want to erase some of her head.  But leave in the spit curl.  That spit curl just makes it pop. What are you calling it?

Hans:  A Lady with a Pink.

Wife:  A lady with a pink what? . . .  Hans, didn’t you hear me? . . .  I said a lady with a pink what?   Ha ha very funny, Hans!  You can stop pretending like you’re dead again. . . Hans?

A Lady with a Pink doesn’t really look all that hard to draw in my opinion.

A Lady with a Pink . . . .Linda vernon humor
See it’s cinchy.

Okay, I’m admitting flat-out that my version isn’t as good as Hans’s  but at least she’s wearing something pink. (I updated her hair color a little too.)  And I gotta say, IMHO I nailed that spit curl better than Hans Memling did.  God rest his 15th century soul.

Okay, that’s enough about the cover.  Now let’s crack open the book, Dear Readers!  Oh boy . . . there are so many weird pictures inside . . . let’s just stick some captions on them:

funny man who cuts topiaries, Linda Vernon Humor

man walking dogs, Linda Vernon Humor

Man dressed as knight who needs to go to the bathroom. Linda Vernon Humor

Man with helmut standing next to a robot. Linda Vernon Humor

Of course there are lots more weird pictures in our old book, but remember, we don’t want to work too hard today, what with it being Screw It Monday!  So let’s just call it a day and go do something even more unproductive than this, if possible.

Until next time . . . I love you

Trifecta Writing 33-Word Writing Challenge: Pushing Kevin’s Buttons

This week’s 33-word Trifecta Challenge was to rearrange words from the 33rd page of Trifecta’s favorite book:  Elizabeth Strout’s Olive Kitteridge.

Page 33 Olive Kitterage, linda vernon humorLinda Vernon Humor

Pushing Kevin’s Buttons

Dr. Goldstein peered carefully beneath his ribs. “No bicycle, no basketball-hoop —  pine needles!

Kevin could not abide the thought of pine needles!

“Hackmatack needles?” Kevin shouted with panic.

“Never mind!” Dr. Goldstein said.

pine needles, linda vernon humor
“I fixed a bed of pine needles for you, Kevin!”
“Oh thank you . . . .wait a minute! Those aren’t Hackmatack needles are they? Because I take umbrage with Hackmatack needles!”
“No they’re just regular pine needles, Kevin.”
“Oh terrific!  Thanks!”

Until next time . . . I love you

Hey It’s Friday! Let’s Dance Austrian Style!

Hello Dear Readers!  Well it’s Friday which means it’s time to fish something out of this blog’s archives in honor of this blog’s lazy streak!  Let’s see . . . oh here’s a blog about Austrian Folk Dancing to start your Friday off with a kick!

Save Room for Shuh

“Sometimes I just want to haul off and punch you!”
“What? But wwwhhhyyy?”

I found a wonderful Viennese Folk Dancing LP at the thrift store for us to examine more closely.  Let’s take a little look-see, shall we?

“Ya, we’re folk dancing, ya!”

The back of the album tells us that this collection of Viennese dance-songs are sung by Austrian man peasants while other Austrian peasants perform intricate Viennese folk dances.

Well, now!   Doesn’t that sound like a fine kettle of Neujahrsschießen?

I may not know much about the country of Austria, but that definitely doesn’t stop me from thinking I do.  Here’s my best guess about what the Viennese songs and folk dances might be about from what I can glean from their titles.

First up is the hauntingly beautiful Viennese Folk Song Entitled:

Hochzeitmarsch aus Ebensee (from Tanze)

This ironic folk dance opens with the Austrian peasant, Hoch, who is wading in the marsh when he becomes stuck in the mud clear up to his eben, see?  And a beautiful peasant girl, Aus from Tanze,  grabs him — and in a series of complicated twists — manages to free his eben, see?

The act of which paralyzes Hoch for the rest of his life, even though Hoch inexplicably retains the full use of his eben, see? Which is probably where the irony comes in but nobody is really sure what’s going on so maybe not.

Next is the surprisingly poignant:

Schuhplattler (from Bauernmusi)

Austrian Peasant, Mrs. Butterhorn, dances exuberantly past all the young maidens in the village of Bauernmusi carrying a large plattler of schuh.  The maidens  jump and twirl for joy as Mrs. Butterhorn carries her plattler of Schuh through the village square where they all gaily sit down at the annual Neujahrsschießen Feast!

Everybody partakes heartily and dies shortly thereafter from food poisoning which everybody blamed on a bad batch of Schuh.  Things are pretty much downhill from there on out.  If you ever decide to go to a live performance of Schuhplattler, definitely plan to leave at the intermission.

And finally, a story that is near and dear to all our hearts:

Guggu Polka

Of all the music and dancing performed on this LP, Guggu Polka is perhaps the most well-known.  We join our revelers just as Austria’s most famous seafaring explorer, Guggu Polka shimmies his way into town in celebration of his historic discovery that there is absolutely no way to get to the ocean from Austria.

His crew of 18 sailors do a fantastic kick line while dragging the would-be seafaring vessel christened The Hokey Pokey along behind them. Then the villagers put their right foot in and put their right foot out and that’s when Guggu Polka trips and dies.  It may not have a happy ending, but sometimes that’s what it’s all about.

Until next time . . . I Bauerngalopp you

“That’s the lamest high five I’ve ever seen.”

Linda’s Ten Writing Prompts for Unusual Stories

Linda’s Ten Writing Prompts for Unusual Stories

LInda's writing promps quill linda vernon umor


A woman named Helene (the last “e” is silent so it’s just pronounced the regular way you would pronounce Helen) who was born into an aristocratic family in 1614 goes for a walk in the woods and finds a toothbrush left by time travelers.  Write a novel chronicling Helen’s life-long attempts to figure out what it is.


A man named Mr. Kneedyy (in this case the “k” isn’t silent but the last “y” is) leads a lonely existence as a shy, tightrope walker whose only joy in life is vacuuming. He often wonders whether his life is worth living at all —  that is until the morning he wakes up in a bed of overly-ripe bananas.


Write a story about the life of a New York City, albino,street urchin in 1882 who is sent to live in an orphanage where they kill his parrot and tell him sawdust is sugar.  One day he contracts a horrible ear infection.  Write the story from the point of view of his eardrum.


A woman who is afraid of her own shadow, opens the door to her closet to find the bogie man dressed in her clothes, but instead of being afraid, she falls instantly in love.  Write this story from the point of view of the red stiletto heels the bogie man is wearing.


Colonel Conrad Bleen (most of the letters are silent but the word colonel is still pronounced nothing like it is spelled) has been shipped a faulty coffee machine from the aliens who reside on planet Wubbly. The Wubblyians are coming for a visit next week and are expecting Colonel Conrad Bleen to serve them coffee.    Choose your favorite historical figure to explain why the Wubblyians won’t be getting any coffee.


A girl named Swanda Smithers (the “s’s” are almost silent but not quite) is told a very important secret by a strange Italian man she meets while walking to the city pool.  If she tells anyone the secret — the universe will cease to exist.  Write a story about what a horrible swimmer Swanda Smithers is from the point of view of the secret.


Write a short scene in which an arthritic court jester with dyslexia is sent in to tell the severely nearsighted Mary Queen of Scots she could use a bath.


While a man is strangling his wife on a rowboat in Lake Superior, she dies of pancreatic cancer.  Write a story about why the man shouldn’t be tried for murderin Lake Erie’s opinion.


A woman named Connie Knophughner (every other letter is silent) buys a used  car and opens the trunk to find a package that is ticking.  When she unwraps it, she finds outit’s a clock that has a bomb embedded in it.  Write a scene about what happens next from the point of view of the used car salesman who is hiding on the floor of the backseat of Connie Knophughner’s  car.


A man named Ponts Nuggles (all the silent letters in his name have been removed so don’t worry about it) comes home to find that his wife has turned into a box of Ritz Crackers, but she can still talk; Ponts Nuggles, however, has been deaf since birth.  Write a dialogue about how they discuss each others’ day.

And there you have it, Dear Readers!  Linda’s Ten Writing Prompts for Unusual stories . . . Happy Writing!

Until next time  . . . I love you

Trifecta 33-Word Writing Challenge: Howard’s Haircut

Hello Dear Readers! This weekend’s 33-Word Trifecta Writing Challenge was simply to write 33 words incorporating some hyperbole in there somewhere.  

 Howard’s Haircut

“There.  Finished!” The hairdresser handed Howard a mirror.  “Do you like it?”

Howard thought he resembled a cross between a Sasquatch on meth during a Tsunami and Shirley Temple.

“Yes.” he said anyway.

Bigfoot Linda Vernon Humor


A pictrure of Shirley Temple Linda Vernon Humor


Nick Nolte mug shot Linda Vernon humor

Until next time . . . I love you

Photo Credits:
Nick Nolte:  
Shirley Temple:

The Return of Friday’s Al Gore Comics

Hello Dear Readers and welcome to Friday’s Al Gore Comics day.  Let’s all take out our crowbars and pry the lid off the mind of our  weirdest national treasure . . . 

Our Beloved Al

One day at the San Francisco Airport:

Al Gore Friday Comics Linda Vernon Humor

Al Gore Comics Linda Vernon Humor

Al Gore Comics Linda Vernon Humor

Al Gore Comics Linda Vernon Humor

Al Gore Comics Linda Vernon Humor

Al Gore Comics Linda Vernon Humor

Al Gore Comics Linda Vernon HumorAl Gore Comics Linda Vernon Humor

Al Gore Comics Linda Vernon HumorAl Gore Friday Comics LInda Vernon Humor

Embarrassing Valentine Please Don’t! I Beg of You!


a picture of a nerd

Having missed the last train to Dorkville, Bobby decided to hang out with me at the coffee shop where I worked — until the next train arrived.

Well not really hang out officially.  More like send me imagined hugs and kisses and god only knows what else from upon the stool he spent a lot of time occupying at the lunch counter.

Bobby was 35, and I was 19.  He was married to a 15-year-old (which was apparently legal in some states back then) but worst of all, Bobby had fallen hopelessly, helplessly in love with me after having misinterpreted my statement, may I take your order?  to mean  I love you Bobby!

From that point forward Bobby was in dorky-stalker Love with a capital L.

Bobby’s personality consisted entirely of him saying no way shape or form after everything.

He’d say:  Do you know what time it is?

I’d say:  2:30

He’d say:  No way shape or form! (only he’d draw out the word form like this:  fo-ho-ho-horm!)

Or he’d say,  “Can I get a cup of coffee?”

I’d say:  “Do you take cream?”

He’d say:  “No way shape or fo-ho-ho-horm.”

“I want to get you something for Valentines Day.” Bobby said to me one day.

“No please!  BOBBY!! Listen to me!” I pleaded,  “You’re married!  It’s completely inappropriate! Please I beg of you.  DO NOT GET ME ANYTHING FOR VALENTINES DAY!”

“No way shape or fo-ho-ho-horm.” Bobby sing-songed.  “I’m getting you something anywho!”

Well sure enough, on Valentines day, during the busiest part of the lunch hour when the coffee shop was full,  here comes Bobby waltzing through the restaurant making a beeline straight for me, his eyes shining brightly with dorky-stalker love, his thick coke-bottle glasses slightly askew in his excitement, carrying a two-and-a-half pound box of chocolates that had a huge story-book doll glued to the top of it.

picture of doll on box of chocolates
Bobby’s secret Valentines Day heart-winning weapon!

All eyes and ears were ratcheted our way listening to the conversation that ensued:

Bobby:  I brought you something, Sweetie!  Happy Valentines day!

I said, “No I can’t take this Bobby!  No!   You need to give it to your wife.”

Bobby: “No way shape or fo-ho-ho-horm.”  I already gave her one just like it!”

Embarrassed and defeated,  I took the world’s largest box of chocolates from Bobby’s grubby little hands — but only because I was starting to hear some  “oh how sweet ooh-ing and ahh-ing” coming from  the lunch crowd.   And I stuck it out of sight as quickly as I could before dissolving into a perfect puddle of Valentines Day humiliation.

I don’t remember what finally happened to Bobby.  Maybe somebody shot him.

If so,  we all know what his last words were.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Dear Readers, and may today and all your Valentines Days be Bobby-free!

Until next time  . . . I love you (No . . no!  Not you Bobby!)

Let’s Take Hump Day Off to Browse Through Old Magazines

Hello Dear Readers.  Today is hump day.  Don’t you hate the word hump day? It’s just ugly and stupid.  I’m never going to use it again.  Okay just one more time, hump day.  Okay, that’s it.  It will never appear here again.

So in honor of the most notoriously ho-hum day of the week, (you-know-what day), I will not be using any exclamation points in today’s post.  In fact, I won’t be writing anything at all.  I’m just going to take the day off to thumb though this 1975 Better Homes and Gardens.  Grab your coffee and join me, won’t you?

Woman sewing together a rug

Back in 1975, when there wasn’t much to do, women could often be found sitting on the floor sewing carpet pieces together.  Of course, this was before Women’s Lib really took hold.  After that, women gave up sewing carpets pieces together at  home, and went and got careers at carpet factories where they got paid $1.60 an hour to sew carpet pieces together for other women who didn’t know about women’s lib yet..

Here’s something not very interesting

Peter Ustinov ad

Here’s Peter Ustinov.  In 1975, Peter Ustinov was a Public Personality which is how they referred to what we call celebrities today.   Public Personalities were semi-well-known for a couple of parts in big movies but spent the majority of their careers appearing on talk shows or game shows or hawking Ernest and Julio wine in national magazines.  Peter Ustinov also wrote his memoirs which I actually remember reading — which should tell you how boring my life was in 1975.

Don’t feel bad if you only look 35, our product can make you look 70!

Silk & Silver turns gray to great

“Hey I’ve got a great idea, JB. You know how women are always dyeing their hair to get rid of gray?”
“Well, we’ll do the ol’ switcheroo and make a product that will turn their regular color hair gray!”

“But women who have natural blonde hair will never buy it.

“Oh yes they will because from now on we’ll say their blonde hair is just an unwanted yellow tinge, and that they need to get rid of it by dying it gray.
“You mean take a group of women who have natural blonde hair, have them dye it gray thus making them look like fabulous 70-year-old grandmothers instead of what they really are which is 35-year-old models?”
“Yes that’s it exactly!
“Let’s do it!”

Hey here’s an ad about losing weight with Ayds

1975 Weight loss ad

In 1975, a woman was supposed to bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan and still look sexy for her man!  (Nobody knew what the men were supposed to be doing.)  Enter Shirley Badders.   Even though Shirley gave birth to five children, her biggest accomplishment was losing the 63 pounds she put on in the process.  And now look at her!  The ad boasts that she’s not only poised and clothes conscious, she’s even articulate! (Apparently her tongue isn’t as chubby).  Let’s face it, aside from sporting the ugliest leotard  ever conceived, Shirley’s a knockout!  And how did she do it?  She got Ayds.  No not the sickness with an “i” but  the candy, with a “y”.   My oh my, how the world has changed since 1975.

People in 1975 laughed easier than they do now

I laughed when they set down the bowl

Back in 1975, people laughed a lot easier than they do now. Take this hysterical dog owner. Oh. she just knew her dog wasn’t going to like new, improved Gainsburgers. Why? Because she’s been eating a steady diet of old, unimproved Gainsburgers since they came on the market, and her dog wouldn’t even eat the scraps leftover from the Gainsburgers she prepared for herself — and she added cheese! So you can see how the joke was on her! P.S. Don’t you think she’d look a lot better if she dyed her hair gray? But then again she’s probably eating Gainsburgers in heaven by now, so I guess it’s a moot point.

There now.  Well that was a fun day off.  Maybe we’ll have to flip through old magazines again next week on Harrumph Day . . . 

Until next time . . . I love you

Trifecta Reading Challenge: A Goat Would Solve All Our Problems

Hello Dear Readers.  This weekend the Trifecta Challengers have dared us to scour through our favorite pieces of literature for 33 of the best words we can find.

I chose the following 33 words from one of my most dearly beloved writers,  Robert Benchley.  They are from the beginning of his essay entitled  Mutiny on the “Bounty” from a volume of his collected essays:  My Ten Years in a Quandary and how they grew.  (It’s available free online here.)

If we had a goat,” I said to Mr. MacGregor, “it would solve all our problems.”

“A what?” he asked, without looking up.

“A goat,” I repeated.

“It would solve what?” he asked . . .

a drawing of a goat with a Robert Benchley quote

Until next time . . . I love you

My Brain, Peanuts, Thinks Up Some Inventions

Hello Dear Readers!  Happy Friday to you all.  I thought today might be as good a time as any to take a look at some of the inventions, my brain, Peanuts dreamed up.

The Underwater Bicycle

My brain, Peanuts, woke up one morning with this idea.  Instead of scuba divers swimming everywhere; they could explore the ocean floor by riding around on their underwater bicycles. Of course, when I told everyone about this idea they got a good laugh,  but really why wouldn’t it work?

Underwater Bicycle
Scuba Diver Riding the proposed Underwater Bicycle

The Minty Breath-o-rizer

Here’s a fantastic idea that Peanuts came up with a couple years ago.  It’s simply a breath mint that one would attached to one’s front tooth. That way the breath mint doesn’t get in the way when talking to someone, but one can still rest assured that one’s breath is clean and fresh.

a breath mint that sticks to tooth
The Minty Breath-o-rizer

A Goldfish Fishing Pole

Let’s say you go to the pet shop and buy a cute little goldfish.  You get home and set his bowl up. It’s got water, little plastic plants, maybe it’s own little house and an anchor in its little front yard.  But after about two seconds, you start getting bored.  You start thinking, where’s the fun in this?  To which the answer is absolutely nowhere.

But Dear Readers. . . what if you had a little fishing pole upon which you could attached it’s food?  You could feed your new little goldfish by pretending like you’re fishing.  Now that’s fun! I really think this is a winner of an invention, don’t you?

a fishing pole to feed goldfish with
The Goldfish Fishing Pole

The Ponytail Headlight

Don’t you hate it when the electricity goes off after dark and there’s absolutely nothing to do except stare at the candle flame?    Well, stare no more, Dear Readers!  Now sitting in the dark can be fun with The Ponytail Headlight!

Simply put your hair in a high ponytail and viola!  Let there be light!  Instead of sitting in the dark, like a bump on a log, you can now use that time to clean out your closets or straighten up your bathroom drawers or whip up a batch of raw fudge.

a ponytail holder with a headlight
The Ponytail Headlight

The Portable Fanny Pack Swing

Let’s say you’re taking your three-year-old grandson for a walk around the neighborhood when he suddenly gets bored and no longer wants to admire the various shrubbery, preferring instead to throw himself down on the sidewalk and kick and scream as a direct result of all that sugar you fed him earlier.  You try to pick him up but he simply squirms away. (The little fella’s quite an athlete!)

Anyway, that’s where the Portable Fanny Pack Swing comes in.  It’s lightweight and folds up small enough to fit into any AARP Fanny Pack.  You simply pull it out, set it up right there on the sidewalk and put your dear little fella in the swing and start pushing.  This will buy you time until you can get mommy or daddy on the phone to let them know that Fun with Grandma Time is officially over.

Artisti's rendering of portable swing
The Portable Fanny Pack Swing

And there you have it, Dear Readers!  A few inventions dreamed up by my brain, Peanuts.  You’ll have to excuse me now though as I think my brain, Peanuts, has some more inventions to dream up.  If you need me, I’ll be asleep on the couch . . .

Until next time . . . I love you

Score One for Massaged Gums!

Hello Dear Readers!  I am delighted to report that  the other day, while I was milling around the thrift store, I came across this wonderful 1943 ad for Ipana Tooth Paste.   

It was so endearing, so inspiring, so downright uplifting that I just had share it with you! 

Traction Splint 1943

It seems feisty, first-aid, heroine, Kay Hunt was feeling pretty darn good about herself with her ability to whip up a traction splint as easily as she whipped up that batch of fudge last night —  just as she did every night . . . all alone . . .  with no one to talk to but her radio.

But in some sort of weird world war II gratitude, Kay Hunts’ traction-splint victim pointed out that she noticed — while Kay Hunt was taking two and a half hours to figure out how to tie a traction splint — that Kay Hunt didn’t brush her teeth  before leaving the house.

She even went so far as to tell Kay Hunt her dingy smile and pink toothbrush are the reason Kay Hunt couldn’t get a date — even though Kay has a perfect figure and looks like a movie star (but of course she didn’t say that last part out loud.)

Now instead of getting mad and wrapping that traction splint around her victim’s catty little neck, our once feisty first-aid,  heroine, Kay Hunt, became  instantly inconsolable.

Luckily, Kate’s friend who was wearing a military uniform — thus making her superior in intelligence, common sense, and personal hygiene — attempted to comfort Kay Hunt by pouring large quantities of salt in her wound and agreeing that Kay really did need to brush her teeth at least as good as  grade school children do and that nowadays the foods you eat won’t brush your teeth for you, which apparently used to be the case  prior to World War II.

Enter Creepy Dentist and Ipana Toothpaste

Kay Hunt star of 1943 toothpast Ad

So the next day our heroine Kay Hunt went to visit her oddly, creepy dentist who stood in such a way as to keep his distance from Kay lest he get a whiff of the air emanating from Kay’s . . . how to put this . . .  dingy smile.

He explained to Kay (from across the room) that in order to get a date Kay will have to massage her gums with Ipana Toothpaste in order to stimulate them!  Who knew? (Certainly not Kay!)

And boy did Kay feel sheepish having to be told this by her creepy dentist!  But sure enough Kay went right home and massaged her gums ad nuaseum!

The next thing you know,  our feisty, first-aid heroine, Kay Hunt’s gums were so very, very massaged that she became a huge hit with the all branches of the armed services.

“I can thank this new-found smile of mine for winning me a military escort and a naval convoy!”  gushed our feisty, first-aid heroine, Kay Hunt.

And that, Dear Readers is  how our feisty, first-aid, world war II heroine, Kay Hunt, became a very, very busy girl for the rest of World War II.

Until next time . . . I love you

Album Covers from the Past

Hello Dear Readers!  I thought it would be fun for us to take a nostalgic look back at a more simple time courtesy of Album Covers from the Past!

Remember Tammy Faye Bakker?

Tammy Faye Bakker If it had not been
We will always remember our beloved Tammy Faye Bakker, the face that launched a thousand gallons of Cover Girl

Besides her penchant for industrial strength makeup, she also had an industrial strength love for the Lord.

Back in 1980, Tammy Faye was married to Jim Bakker, a once popular televangelist who was catapulted from grace when he got caught dating prostitutes and borrowing several million dollars from the church collection plate and accidentally forgetting to pay it back — resulting in an extended stay at Motel Prison.

Let’s run over to Google and type in Tammy Faye Bakker Quotes just to see what comes up, shall we?  Oh here’s some good ones:

“You can educate yourself right out of a relationship with god.” 

“I wake up every morning and wish I was dead and so does Jim.”

It seems Tammy Faye Bakker’s fondest wish to become dead finally came true on July 20, 2007 when she succumbed to lip-liner poisoning.  (Her husband is still alive but is expected to die at some point in the future, God willing!)

Now here’s three jolly souls who are absolutely determined to squeeze every quark of joy there is to be squeezed from the Greek cobblestones of life itself!  

Syrtaki 1 Instrumental

The back of this album cover tells us:

Syrtaki touches everybody’s heart because from the melancholy evolves the joy and from the desperation comes the rapture of this man, who suddenly jumps to his feet.”  

Well, apparently in Greece there’s nothing like melancholy and desperation to  make a man don a sash,  jump to his feet and Dance! Dance! Dance!   OMICRON PI ALPHA!!


Here’s a colorful 1973 album of Mexican Folklore that sings and dances its way through  every Mexican historical event since creation.  

Ballet Folk Lore of Mexico
Ballet Folklorico De Mexico loosely translated means Ballet of Mexican Folklore. Tightly translated it means BalletFolkloricoDeMexico

Your feet will be tap tap tappin’ when you hear the musical interpretations of that pesky plumed serpent Quetzacoatl as he steals  bones from the underworld to create a little thing he likes to call mankind ha ha — to  the Mexican Revolution of 1910 (wa wa waaaa) and every single thing that happened in Mexico in between!

Mexican FolK Dancers
And one and two and three and four . . . Quetzalcoatl stole some bones to create us, doo dah doo dah . . .The revolution of 1910 was not much fun . . . all the doo dah day!

And there you have it, Dear Readers, a nostalgic look back at a more simply time courtesy of Album Covers from the Past!

Until next time . . . I love you

Trifecta 33 Word Writing Challenge: The Conversation

Hello Dear Readers!  This weekend’s Trifecta Challenge was simply to write a 33 word dialogue.

The Conversation

Piggies went to the market

story of 5 piggies

Until next time . . . I love you