Month: July 2013

Friday Fictioneers: The Trouble with Little Poindexter

Linda Vernon The Daily Routine , , , , , , ,

Welcome Dear Readers!  In, this, The Golden Age of Blogging, another day means another story. And so, let us now turn our attention to this weird and wonderful picture of a giant bee provided as a story prompt for the weekly Friday Fictioneers 100-word story writing challenge.

Friday Fictioneers Linda Vernon Humor

If you look closely behind the bee’s left foot, you can barely make out Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, our Friday Fictioneers’ hostess, sewing us some Official Friday Fictioneer Uniforms!   She’s still having a little trouble with those French cuffs. But she’s doing her best so please everyone stop nagging her!

Until then, Rochelle says we should write a 100-word story about the giant bee picture provided courtesy of Jennifer Pendagast at Elmowrites.

The Trouble with Little Poindexter

I’m worried about our little Poindexter, Arthur.

You worry too much, Martha.

 But Poindexter’s so different from other children, Arthur.

Different  how?

He’s big for his age, and he only eats pollen.  And then there’s his–

His what?

Well none of the other children have antennas, Arthur!

Are you saying he’s a freak?

No, no of course not!  It’s just that . . .

That what?

Well today he stung one of his classmates and had to stay after class.

Did you have a talk with him?

I tried to.

And?

He told me to buzz off.

And there you have it, Dear Readers.  I’m happy to say this story passed the finish line at exactly 100 words.

Until next time . . . I love you

33-Word Trifecta Writing Challenge: Shades of Clayton

Linda Vernon Adventures in Grandma Land, Peculiar Poetry, Trifecta Writing Challenges , , , , , , , ,

Welcome Dear Readers!  This weekend’s 33-word Trifecta Writing Challenge is as follows:  Give us a thirty-three word piece that has a color in it. Use the color to describe anything you like, or use anything you like to describe your color, but keep it creative and keep it short. 

I chose this colorful picture of my grandson, Clayton, to write about today.

colors!

Shades of Clayton

Propeller’s blue, steering’s green

With shades of Mickey in-between

Here’s a fellow, who likes yellow

A mellow little yellow fellow

But his pants this poem will sabotage

Cause there ain’t no color camouflage

My Brain, Peanuts, Notices Some Little Things

Linda Vernon My Brain, Peanuts, The Daily Routine , , , , , , , , ,

Hello Dear Readers and welcome!  Before we go kicking and screaming (in a good way) into the weekend, I thought it would be fun to share with you some random things that crossed the path of my brain, Peanuts.

  You want me to throw what in where?

 

Someone stuck a sign on the trash can outside my grocery store directing passersby to only throw “trash” into it.

Apparently so many people have been throwing stuff in there that’s not trash, the grocery store employees were unable to get any work done so they had to make a sign for the trash can that says “Trash.”

Well who can blame them?  They are probably sick and tired of people throwing away bag after bag of perfectly good cash or bag after bag of perfectly good puppies or bag after bag of perfectly good babies.

These people have work to do people!

And their job descriptions do not include fishing large amounts of cash and/or puppies or the occasional baby out of the trash all the live-long day!  Do you mind?

 Now that’s the attitood I like to sea!

Here’s a nice little sign I saw while waiting in line at Fresh Choice. As you can see, they offer salads to go Mon – Fry only.  You’ll also notice they are offering their customers a special as well, but they are being kind of crabby about it.  The sign tells us it’s $4.99 Salad Bar Only but it sort of feels like what they really wanted to say was $4.99 Salad Bar Only You Stupid Idiot.

Here’s bit of wonderful news from junk mail:

Now that’s a handy piece of news from the National Association for Continence!  I am totally amazed that two out of three people with bladder control symptoms (and what symptoms are those? . . .  well, we can guess can’t we?)  don’t do ANYTHING about it — which means . . . well, let’s not think about.

I am more amazed, however, that there is actually someone walking around right this very minute with a business card that reads:

National Association for Continence, Managing Director

Which proves, once again, Dear Readers, that it’s the little things that make life worth living! Have a wonderful weekend!

Until next time . . . I love you

Friday Fictioneers: Fly Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers, Peculiar Poetry, The Daily Routine , , , , , , , , ,

Welcome Dear Readers!  My philosophy of life can be summed up by Lou Grant from the old Mary Tyler Moore show when he said, “You’re born, you die and everything in between is filler.” 

And I can’t think of a more fun “filler” than writing a hundred words inspired by  Friday Fictioneers  picture prompt hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields at Addicted to Purple.

This week’s picture is provided by Douglas M. McIlroy over at Ironwoodwind.

maui-from-mauna-kea

Fly like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee  

 If I had an apparatus

To keep me in the misty stratus

If I could hang out in the air

With the billowy things that live up there

 I think, at first, it would be fun

I’d be best friends with everyone

I’d say I like you!  Yes I do!

You are my best friends, brave and true

But then before my very eyes

You’d change into some apple pies

You’d switch it up

 (You’d be so wiley)

You’re Cher! . . .  No wait! . . . Charles Nelson Riley?

 Who could keep up? Who could cope?

I’d become Muhammad’s rope a dope

* * * 

Until next time . . . I love you

Screw It Monday: Pictures of Stuff on My Desk

Linda Vernon Blogging, Screw It Monday, The Daily Routine, Who am I?, Writing life , , , , , ,

The Bored Family

Welcome, Dear Readers.  Do you ever wake up in “one of those moods”  where the whole world is just one big ball of bleh?  

Well, this blog is officially announcing a new holiday.

National Bleh Day!  

And in honor of National Bleh Day, let’s do something bleh by taking stupid pictures of the stuff on our desks.  Here, I’ll get us started:

desk 1
Bleh doesn’t really get any more Bleh than this. The centerpiece of this picture is the spoon I ate my cereal with. I don’t know what happened to the bowl. I think I might have accidentally eaten it. How does it fee to eat a bowl?  Frankly, I don’t even remember it.
Here's the Old Fogey cereal that was in the bowl I ate. It's got fiber and 80 calories so I ate four (4) bowls which probably means I ate the same amount of calories and sugar as two maple bars. Why didn't I just eat Maple Bars instead? Because today is National Bleh day. And what better way to Bleh Out!
Here’s the Old-Fogey cereal that was in the bowl I ate. It’s got fiber and 80 calories so I ate four (4) bowls which probably means I ate the same amount of calories and sugar as two maple bars. Why didn’t I just eat two Maple Bars instead? Because today is National Bleh Day which I am beginning to hate already.
Here's a notebook I've had in my desk drawer for probably 6 years. Just judging from this note I made myself, you can kind of see why I'm always missing appointments and why I'm not a millionaire. I start to doodling half-way through every note rendering every note I've ever made totally useless. Frankly that's one of the reasons I've started National Bleh Day. So I can finally get some use out of all this pointless stuff I have/
Here’s a notebook I’ve had in my desk drawer for probably 6 years. Just judging from this note I made myself, you can kind of see why I’m always missing appointments and why I’m not a millionaire. I start  doodling half-way through every note rendering it totally useless. Frankly, that’s one of the reasons I’ve started National Bleh Day. So I can finally get some use out of all this pointless stuff I have. ( I would have turned this vertically so you could read it better, but what with it being National Bleh Day, why bother?)
How much more uninspiring can this picture get? The answer is none more inspiring
How much more  Bleh can this picture get? The answer is none more Bleh.  I probably went to too much work for this picture as it is.   Anyway, that pen is the pen I sometimes use when I need to write something with a pen.  The nail polish I have on right now (see below).  That’s my coffee in the background (it’s cold).  And that little green block is something I bought one time.  Why?  
Okay, here's what the nail polish looks like on my fingernails. I know they kind of look like my toes, but their not. My toes are shorter and fatter. I kind of like clear nail polish because when it chips off, you don't really notice. Who do I even bother with the clear? Well, it's the kind of thing one contemplates on National Bleh Day.
Okay, here’s what the nail polish looks like on my fingernails. I know they kind of look like my toes, but they’re not.  My toes are shorter and fatter. I kind of like clear nail polish because when it chips off, you don’t really notice.
But then you have to ask yourself, if you can’t tell if it’s chipped, it probably doesn’t show enough to even bother with.
I don’t’ know whether to put a question mark after the above sentence because I can’t tell if it’s a question or not.
See this is the kind of stuff discussed on National Bleh Day.  Aren’t you glad I started National Bleh Day? No? Me neither. (Wait . . . did  I just agree or disagree with myself?)
Oh hey! Here's an old piece of candy I found in my desk. It looks old. It looks like it would taste pretty Bleh.
Oh hey! Here’s a piece of candy I found in my desk. It looks old.  It looks like it would taste pretty Bleh.  Let’s find out shall we?
Yup I was right. It does taste Bleh. Probably because I think it's been in my desk drawer since 2012. Of course, that doesn't stop me from eating the whole stale piece. Why? Because that's what people do on National Bleh Day.
Yup I was right. It does taste pretty Bleh. Probably because I think it’s been in my desk drawer since 2009. Of course, that won’t  stop me from eating the whole stale piece. Why? Because that’s what people do on National Bleh Day.

And there you have it, Dear Reader, our very first celebration of National Bleh Day.  I hope your day will be as bland, and mediocre and uneventful  as is humanly possible on, this, our very first National Bleh Day!

Until next time . . . I love you

El Guapo Writes a Story

Linda Vernon Blogging, The Daily Routine, WordPress, Writing life , , , , , , , , ,

 Dear Readers!  Good News!  I am overwhelmed to announce that one brave blogger has stepped up to this blog’s story-writing challenge  by using not just one . . . not just two . . . but  ALL TEN WRITING PROMPTS!  which were presented here yesterday.

Who is this Death-Defying Wordsmith?  This Participle-Dangling Daredevil? This Purger of Profundity?  (Okay I’ll stop now.)  

Why it’s none other than our Beloved, El Guapo, The Friday Foolishness Frontiersman of WordPress!

The Adventures of El Guapo and His Side-kick, Abraham Lincoln

1)  Abraham Lincoln was using his axe to prune the Rhododendron. He was doing this because he was grumpy that when he was done he would need to transplant an organ at the church. Then he was grumpy for the sake of being grumpy for the number 2 (2) and no reason besides that.

While it was odd that Abe Lincoln was out doing this kind of work (especially in the 21st century, it really was his own fault. (3) He had shot the gardener, Fats, (Fats had a green thumb.) (Literally, as he was an alien.), in the Skinny part of his throat after Fats told him he could no longer wear the Hideous stove-pipe hat.

He also shot him because Fats had a Tragically awful habit of capitalizing adjectives. It was later that afternoon that Abe realized Fats may have been so skinny due to genetics, or possibly because of a tragic accident. (That was after he saw a (4) steamroller flatten a poor woman from something resembling a Sputnik to something the thickness of a harpsichord.) (The sight almost ruined his lunch. “Oy Vey” he lamented into his tibbs and pickles sandwich at his favorite sandwich shop, They Call Me Mr Tibbs.) (But his appetite came back since he was so tired. Organ transplanting really”takes it out of you”)  Editor’s note: Author has been slapped for that awful joke above.

After lunch, Abe went to see his friend (5) Hum Cwart, who he always called Kumquat. Even though Hum wasn’t green or an alien. It’s a sad fact that Hum couldn’t see Abe, or even see that Abe was mispronouncing the name. But that’s another story. The fifth, I believe. Now for those who don’t know, Abe was a statesman, known best for his dealings with the Chinese. Or at least General Tso, and his delightful companions known as (6)Wang-Lang and Lang-Wang.

He never knew their last names because they never used them. Now, as it happens, since they gave up smoking, the Ang-Angs (as Abe called them) became dress makers. They made dresses because they could test them by dancing in them to work off all the nervous energy from not smoking. They made a dress for their dear client (7) Lucy.

As a surprise, her husband Ricky picked it up, and the Ang-Angs told him that even though it was expensive, it was their best dunce dress. Ricky was so angry, and dragged Lucy into the store yelling at her for buying a stupid dress. Realizing the misunderstanding, the Ang-Angs donned the dress (together, for they were very thin), and demonstrated it was a “dance” dress, being careful this time to enunciate. Ricky was so ashamed, but Lucy said the studio audience loved it and off they went. As the Ang-Angs were reminiscing,

Abe interrupted, saying “Something smells rotten in Denmark”. Most people would say that was a euphemism, but Abe was well known for his scenting ability and the prowess of his schnoz. In fact, he had famously versed (8) “The nose knows the woes of those what owes the toes”, which was accepted as very profound by those who had no idea what the hell he was talking about.

What Abe,  in fact,  would have loved to be talking about was (9) women behind women behind woman, all oiled up. But Abe was shy and didn’t think that kind of talk was appropriate in mixed company, shaken or stirred. So with nothing left to do, (10) Abe mounted his trusty horse, Glue, and headed back to the 1850s to invent the stapler.

For their efforts, I am officially awarding El Guapo and his sidekick, Abraham Lincoln, this hastily made  much coveted trophy:

El Guapo and Abe

I think you’ll agree that nobody deserves this trophy more than El Guapo  — with the possible exception of Abraham Lincoln.

Until next time . . . I love you

Weekend Trifecta Challenge: “Shut up,” he explained

Linda Vernon The Daily Routine

Welcome Dear Readers!  This weekend’s Trifecta Writing Challenge is to write 33 words using these three words:

Ring

Water

Stage 

Ring Lardner walked to the middle of the stage, took a sip of water and solemnly announced, “I’ve known what it is to be hungry, but I always went right to a restaurant.”

Ring Lardner Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division, National Photo Company Collection: http://www.loc.gov/pictures/item/npc2007003765/
Ring Lardner — Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division, National Photo Company Collection

Ring Lardner was a sportswriter and short-story writer best known for this brilliant bit of dialogue:

“Are you lost, Daddy?” I asked tenderly.  “Shut up,” he explained.

Until next time . . . I love you

Ten Writing Prompts for Unusual Stories

Linda Vernon Writing life , , , , ,

Ten  Writing Prompts for Unusual Stories

1)

Terts Spattly, a limo washer for the Dallas Cowboys falls in love with a girl sports reporter who needs a transplant for her heart, a transplant for her liver and a transplant for her Rhododendron plant that’s been crowding out the petunias in her front yard. Choose your favorite historical figure from whom these organs will be harvested — but only after the historical figure is done transplanting the Rhododendron.

2)  

Write a story about why there is no writing prompt in this space.  Include the number 2 in your story at your own peril.

3)

Imagine that an alien named, Fats, lives in the tree outside your bedroom window.  Every morning, after telling you what to wear and what to eat for breakfast,  Fats slaps you in the face.  One day you decide to shoot Fats in the head.  Write a courtroom drama about being sued by the Area 51.

4)

Write a scene wherein a woman is flattened by a steamroller.  Use only  the words, “Sputnik” and “harpsichord.” (If you find this too difficult go ahead and  throw in the phrases, “Oy Vey” and “They call me Mister Tibbs!”)

5)

Your main character, Huh McWart, sneezes and both his glass eyes pop out. Write a story about how he manages to located them after two-weeks of living off nothing but a bottle of Mazola oil and one Cheeto (abnormally large) while he systematically  searches for them by feeling every square inch of his apartment with his toes — starting in the master bedroom.

6)

A 19th-century Chinese peasant named Wang Lung Lung Lung walks 1400 miles to ask Lang Lung-Lung to marry him. She accepts.  Write a documentary  about how Lang Lung-Lung who is now Lang Lung-Lung Lung Lung Lung and her husband Wang Lung Lung Lung  give up smoking.  Do not include the word “lung” in the story.

7)

A woman named, Lucy,  is married to a Cuban bandleader, Ricky, who has a very bad temper.  Lucy spends too much money on a dress making her Cuban bandleader husband, Ricky, furious.  Write a humorous story about how Lucy manages to calm Ricky down just seconds before he beats her to a pulp.

8) 

Imagine you have the super power of smell.  Write a short story about who and what you would smell from the perspective of the smell itself and then never speak of it again.

9)

Write a play about a woman who is too shy to go outside so she sits behind her computer and writes stories about another woman who is too shy to go outside  so she sits behind her computer and writes stories about  another woman who is addicted to hydrogenated palm oil glyceride.

10)

Write a novel about a stapler.  Print it out.  Rip it into a million little pieces. Glue it back together. Write a poem about what just happened.

And there you have it Dear Readers!  Linda’s ten writing prompts for unusual stories.  Happy writing!

Until next time . . . I love you

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Brain, Peanuts, Thinks up a Magazine

Linda Vernon The Daily Routine , , , , , , , , , ,

Welcome Dear Readers!  It’s time for Magazine mash-ups where  my brain, Peanuts, thinks up ideas for new magazines!   Let’s take a look at what Peanuts  thought up this time, shall we?

Peanuts took this British Business Journal:

Linda Vernon Humor Magazine Mashups

And this cutting-edge tattoo magazine, Inked 

Linda Vernon Humor Magazine Mashups

And combined it with this obscure foreign publication call Son:

Linda Vernon Humor Magazine Mashups

To come up with

Viola! 

Magazine Mashups Linda Vernon Humor

Naturally, Peanuts needs to have some writers on staff.  In a perfect world, here’s how Peanuts envisions the dream writers for Prison Magazine:

Editor-in-Chief:   Mugsy Malone (aka Martha Stewart)

Mugsy Malone's got Jailbird cred.
Mugsy Malone’s got jail-bird cred

Who better to lead the dream-team staff of Prison Magazine writers than America’s prettiest tax evader, Mugsy Malone or Martha Stewart — as she is sometimes referred to on the “outside.” Whether she’s writing about prison cafeteria cuisine, orange-jumper haute couture or crafting one’s very own bitchin’ gang tattoo, Mugsy Malone’s been there, done that!

Food Critic:   Peter Clemenza

254871-tl_gf_richard_s_castellano_large
Peter “take the gun, leave the cannoli” Clemenza

Cannoli expert and bad-to-the-bone-but-lovable Peter Clemenza, would be my brain, Peanuts,  dream choice for  Prison Magazine’s food critic, because he is the Prison System cuisine’s  leading expert on cannoli.

Over the years Peter Clemenza has developed a variety of ways to serve cannoli such as:  leave the knife,  take the cannoli, — leave the hand-grenade, take the cannoli — and the always popular —  leave the machete, take the cannoli.

  Health and Beauty Editor:  Bonnie

Linda Vernon Humor, Magazine Mashups
Even when murdering, Bonnie looks to die for!

As one of America’s most put-together killers, Bonnie of Bonnie and Clyde would be my brain, Peanuts ideal choice for Prison Magazine’s, health and beauty editor.  

After a long day of murder, mayhem and out-running the cops, I think you’ll agree, that Bonnie still manages to stay fresh as a daisy, or, failing that, as fresh as someone who just caused someone to be pushing up daisies.   Either way, she would be Prison Magazine’s  ideal Health and Beauty Editor. 

And there you have it, Dear Readers, my brain, Peanuts, fantasy magazine!

Until next time . . . I love you

Friday Fictioneers: Funny How Things Work Out

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers , , , , , , ,

Hello Dear Reader! It’s Wednesday, which means my brain, Peanuts, thinks it’s Friday. (Shh . . don’t say anything, I’ve found it’s always best to humor Peanuts.)

Anyway, it’s time for Peanuts to write a 100-word story for Friday Fictioneers — a writing challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields over at Addicted to Purple.

There’s a rumor afoot that Rochelle is busy sewing everybody official Friday Fictioneer Uniforms,  and that we will all be receiving them just as soon as she masters  French cuffs.  Could this be true, Rochelle?  I certainly hope so!

Here’s this week’s Friday Fictioneer Picture Prompt:

Linda Vernon Humor Joseph William Standish, the Tree, Friday Fictioneers
Courtesy of anaelephantcant

Funny How Things Work Out

William Joseph Standish hated being a tree because in his heart, he was a writer.  After all, wasn’t he made out of wood –which turns into paper?  Didn’t he have time to think?  Wouldn’t a byline with his name be fabulous?  But alas he had no pen.

One day someone leaned a bike against his trunk.  Screw writing! He would become a world-renowned Tour d France bicyclist!  It would be stupendous, it would be marvelous, it would be . . . well, he couldn’t think of anything else it would be.

Just as well he decided not to be a writer.

* * *

Until next time . . . I love you

The Drawing Lady Teaches Us How to Draw Medieval People

Linda Vernon The Daily Routine, The Drawing Lady , , , , , , , , ,

Hello Dear Readers!  Have I got a wonderful surprise for you today! Everybody’s favorite tortured art teacher,  The Drawing Lady, has agreed to stop by the blog.  Isn’t it wonderful?  I know!  

But please remember, Dear Readers, that because The Drawing Lady is a tortured art teacher, we must be very careful not to upset her by asking too many questio—-Oh shhh . . . here she comes now.

The Drawing Lady Copyright Linda Vernon Humor
The Drawing Lady, everybody’s favorite tortured art teacher

Dear Readers, today The Drawing Lady will be teaching us how to draw Medieval people. Perhaps you are asking why Medieval people, Drawing Lady? Why not Roman People? Or  Egyptian  people? or Viking People?

Linda Vernon Humor, the Drawing Lady

Dear Readers!  Are you deliberately trying to upset The Drawing Lady by asking these questions when The Drawing Lady has only recently recovered from her hysterical plunge out her drawing school window, breaking every bone in her body?

The Drawing Lady would simply like you to draw this Medieval person  to the best of your abilities:

Linda Vernon Humor, the Drawing Lady Medieval People

The Drawing Lady says now you try:

Linda Vernon Humor Drawing Lady Medieval People

Is this right Drawing Lady?  Do you think her eyes are expressive enough, Drawing Lady? Do you want us to erase it, Drawing Lady?

Dear Readers!  The Drawing Lady is beating her head with her fists.  The Drawing Lady says that after all the lessons she has given you, you are still horrible artists.

The Drawing Lady would like you to try drawing the Medieval couple below and for crying out loud  try putting a little more umph into it:

Linda Vernon Humor the drawing lady Medieval People

The Drawing Lady says now you try:

Medieval People Linda Vernon Humor

Like this Drawing Lady? Do you think it has enough umph, Drawing Lady?Drawing Lady?  Drawing Lady does this make your heart sing, Drawing Lady?

Dear Readers, the Drawing Lady has curled up into a fetal position and is rocking back and forth.  The Drawing Lady is giving you one last chance to get it right by drawing this Medieval man with a tortured soul:

The Drawing Lady teaches us to draw medieval people

The Drawing Lady says now you try:

Linda Vernon Humor, The Drawing Lady Medieval People

Is this right Drawing Lady?  Did we get the tortured soul part right, Drawing Lady?  Drawing Lady why are you opening the window, Drawing Lady?  Why are you  climbing out onto the ledge Drawing Lady?  Drawing Lady? . . . Drawing Lady? . . .

Dear Readers, I regret to inform you that The Drawing Lady has gone stalk-raving mad and jumped out of the window again.

This concludes our drawing lesson for today.

Linda Verno Humor, The Drawing Lady draws Medieval People

* * *

Until next time . . . I love you

A 3-Word Trifecta Challenge:

Linda Vernon Trifecta Writing Challenges , , , , , ,

Welcome Dear Readers!  Well today the Trifecta Writing Challenge is to describe our writing process in three words as did one of our Trifecta Editor’s most favorite writers,  Neil Gaiman. One of the questions asked of him was, “Can you tell us your writing process in three words?” He replied, “Glare. Drink tea.” –

At first, I wanted to say “I got nothing” but I thought, that’s not really a process, so, instead,  I decided to go with:

Illustration by my brain, Peanuts

* * *

Until next time . . . I love you

Writing Checklist for the WordPress Daily Post

Linda Vernon The Daily Prompt, The Daily Routine, WordPress , , , , , , ,

Welcome Dear Readers!  Today, my brain, Peanuts, and I thought it might be fun to try our hand at the WordPress Daily Post writing-prompt challenge:

Singular Sensation

If one experience or life change results from you writing your blog, what would you like it to be?

Naturally, Dear Readers, Peanuts and I would like to do our very best writing for our very first WordPress Daily Post writing-prompt challenge. Therefore it’s time to whip out the ol’  handy-dandy Preliminary Very Best Post Writing Checklist.

The Preliminary Very Best Post Writing Checklist

Punctuation teeth brushed?    √

Key to the adverb lockbox located?     √

Transitive and intransitive verbs sorted into their respective bins?   √

Prepositional phrases wearing clean underwear?   √

Metaphors placated?   √

Passive Voice snuck up behind and pushed off cliff?    √

Independent clauses given instructions for meet up?   √

Dangling participles sent to rehab?  √

Dependent clauses apron strings cut?   √

Dear Readers, it looks like it’s “All Systems Go!”   The only things left to do now is count down to the actual post itself.

Ten . . . nine . . . eight . . . seven . . . six . . . five . . . four . . . .three . . . two . . . one . . . Phew!  Typing all those ellipses is exhausting!   Now Peanuts and my fingers are aching something fierce  . . . ouch! (Typing that last ellipse was pure agony!)  Well, anyway . . . ow!  Let’s get back to the WordPress Daily Post writing challenge . . . ow!

If one experience or life change results from you writing your blog, what would you like it to be?

Peanuts and I would like it to be not arthritis!

And there you have it, Dear Readers!  Our very first the WordPress Daily Post writing-prompt challenge. It was fun.  Painful but fun.

Until next time . . . (ouch!!!!) I love you

Friday Fictioneers: Jennifer Spectacular

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers, The Daily Routine , , , , , , , ,

Welcome Dear Readers!  

The week has rolled around again to Wednesday, (the week likes to roll around — kind of like a roll-a-way bed in an earthquake — only without the mattress) which means it’s time for The Friday Fictioneer Challenge!  Yay!

Challengers are asked to write a 100-words story about the weekly picture that is on display over at Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple.   Rochelle is our hostess with the mostess and the Friday Fictioneering-est!

This week’s picture was provided courtesy of Randy Mazie at the Writer’s Village, who subscribes, like I do, to the theory that no story is complete unless there’s a goat involved in there somewhere.  Thank you Randy!

goats_and_graves_3_randy_mazie
Copyright Randy Mazie

 Jennifer Spectacular

“Baaaaa!” Cried Jennifer Spectacular.

Arthur marked his place in Three Billy Goats Gruff and looked up momentarily. “Didn’t that banana agree with you, Jennifer?”

“Baaaa!”

“Well, I warned you about gulping down a banana after eating a purse, a chain-link fence and a can of Sprite, now didn’t I?

“Baaaaa!”

“No I don’t have any Tums.”

“Baaaaa!”

“Don’t call me that!”

“Baaaaa”

Why you ungrateful little goat!

“Baaaa.”

“What do you mean what am I doing?  I’m calling animal control to come get you!”

“Baaaa!”

What?

“Baaaa!”

“Do you really mean that, Jennifer Spectacular?”

“Baaaa.”

“Okay, I’m sorry too.”

***

Until next time . . . I love you