Welcome Dear Readers! Gosh it’s been a long time since last we clapped eyes on the home decor horrors that only the Slightly Creepy Seventies can provide. That’s why I was delighted to run across this family room decorating book from 1977 and just in time for Halloween!
Now here’s a family room that practically screams fun!
Whenever the family entered this Slightly Creepy Seventies family room, and once they had regained their balance, Mom and Dad got right down to the task of puffing Benson & Hedges cigarettes one after another in order to fill up their family-sized ashtray guaranteed to hold enough stubbed-out cigarettes to give the entire clan COPD in a single evening. But not to worry, everybody was already hyperventilating from the decor anyway, so hey! At least they were breathing! (Sort of . . .)
If this doesn’t make you want to hum the theme from Jaws, nothing will.
And why are there no people in this Slightly Creepy Seventies family room, you ask?
Ha ha! Because they are all hiding in the “modular storage center that fits almost anywhere” or anyone. And thank goodness for that! How else would they be able to hide themselves from the giant killer macramé pillow that is obviously taking orders from the Slightly-Creepy Seventies Peacock Feather Vase Goddess?
I’ll bet the whole family is thanking their lucky stars right now that daddy scarfed down his cocaine-sprinkled oatmeal this morning or he would have never had the wherewithal to come up with the idea for this clever dual storage/hiding-from-murdering-pillow decorating idea. But uh oh! Look out Little Joshie! You left he door open!
There’s organization and then there’s organization Slight-Creepy Seventies Style!
The genius that designed this Slightly Creepy Seventies entertainment center thought of everything right down to the board games that family members can play while Mom is yakking on the phone for hours blocking everybody’s view of their Slightly Creepy Seventies state of the art 12-inch Zenith television set — so much so that nobody in this poor, Slightly Creepy Seventies’ family ever found out whether or not Mary Tyler Moore did indeed make it after all. (They did get to see a cool explosion on Rockford Files though . . . well, not exactly — but the way Mom described it, it sounded cool!)
And of course no Slightly Creepy Seventies family room is complete without a plant phone booth (if Mom will ever get off the phone and let the plants use it, that is).
What better way for a family to pass through the tedious decade of the Slightly Creepy Seventies at a snail’s pace than to actually pull up a chair and literally watch snails’ pace? Answer? No better way!
Well, that is if you don’t count Mom describing to everyone how exciting it was when Jim Rockford got in that high-speed car chase and ran over Mary Tyler Moore and made her hat fly up in the air. At least, Mom’s pretty sure that’s what happened — but then again she was talking on the phone at the time — and in the Slightly Creepy Seventies, multi-tasking hadn’t even been invented yet.
And there you have it, Dear Readers, a little Halloween Horror in the form of the Slightly Creepy Seventies, now go have a fun Halloween and try to forget the horror you saw here.
Until next time . . . I love you