Thank You Pottery Barn for Life Itself!

Are you living your life like wind-tossed lint?  Bouncing hither and yon at nature’s whim –never knowing the difference between up nor down nor side nor ways?

Well, Pottery Barn has a solution for that, Dear Reader, and it’s called:

The Pottery Barn Daily System

That’s right!  Pottery Barn and their “Daily System” has finally found a way to make keeping track of your family’s events a full time job!

Now, the first thing you do — using PB’s Daily System — is polish off a bottle of beer and a bottle of wine and then rinse them out and place them on their designated spots on the shelf (as pictured). Once that task has been completed,  you’re  going to be  in the mood to write something rather odd and crazy on the blackboard just like Pottery Barn did.

You could either copy PB and write “Summer Night Alive and Bright” or come up with your own drunken phrase.

And since the blackboard is at the tippy top of the Daily System, you will need to climb up on the desk (which Pottery Barn designed just for this purpose) and carefully . . . watch it now! . . . write on the blackboard.

  Of course, while you are up there, you might as well grab a couple of pens and pencils . . .  oh and don’t forget the scissors, grab those too, while you’re at it. (You never know!)

But do be careful don’t– whoops!  Did you fall down?  PB anticipated that might happen.  Hopefully the desk broke your fall and you can still read the family activities that have been written on the white board — because you might have to make some changes to those activities.

For instance, you’re probably going to have to skip the 4th of July celebration altogether, who knows if you will have regained feeling in your arms and legs by then — of course, Dad could ice your back for you if wasn’t traveling all week.  (Isn’t that always the way!)

And you’re probably going to have to  find a way to break it to Curtis that you can’t drive him to sailing lessons due to your being paralyzed and all. (But watch out! Curtis isn’t going to like it!)

And the Palmer dinner thing . . . well, if all that involved was Palmer eating a bowl of Mac and Cheese while conversing with you about Curtis’s sailing abilities while you lay paralyzed on the desk –then there’s  no need to cancel that one! YAY!

Ah! That Pottery Barn!  Always working around the clock to make your pathetic life better! You gotta love ’em!

Until next time . . . I love you

7 thoughts on “Thank You Pottery Barn for Life Itself!

  1. Summer night I’ve and bright! My favorite drunken chalkboard phrase. Especially when underlined! Pottery barn really does a great job of mimicking my everyday, fabulous, organized, busy and Eco friendly lifestyle!

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I must get busy picking up Grams from her violin rehearsals in Morocco.

  2. Oh, dear! This exposé has ruined my life! I used to be able to lie around reading PB catalogues while drinking Funyun Juice straight from the can. I was fulfilled. My life was perfect. No more…

    Wait!– I know! I’ll save up greasy Funyun proof-of-purchase thingies and mail ’em in along with $59.95 for Al Gore’s new book, How I Stay Fit, cowritten with shyster Malamutt Oz!! I’ll read it over and over again, just like my PB catalogues!! Once more my life will have meaning. Sigh. Life is good. Life is very, very good… : P

    • LOL!! I truly believe there isn’t much on this earth that can’t be remedied by drinking a little Funyun juice straight from the can while flipping through PB Catalogs. Who knew that was the secret to a good life? And for that we have Al to thank. For if it wasn’t for his pull-tab popping Funyun juice, page-turning workouts, I’d hate to see what kind of shape he’d be in. Even Arnold Schwartzenegger’s thumbs are no match for Al’s! (I hear the hook line under Al’s new book, How I Stay Fit is “You’ll be Amazed How You Look Once You’ve Been Gored!”)

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