33-Word Trifecta Challenge: The Movie Set

Welcome Dear Readers to this weekend’s Trifecta Writing Challenge where we are asked to write to about famous trios.

One Day on the Movie Set

This scene needs pigs, who hired the bears?

The mice, sir.

Are they, blind?

Yes.

Who hired blind casting directors?

Three Musketeers, sir. 

Bring them here!

Can’t.

Why?

Eaten by the bears, sir.

Juvenile-Illustration-The-Three-Bears-By-Leo-Tolstoy-8-144x150
“Hey! Save some fluffy nugget center for your old man, will ya?”

Until next time  . . . I love you

 

 

The Lighter Side of Gangrene

Dear Readers!  Where is the time going?  I get up, I have my coffee and viola! Noon!

Today I’m only posting  this little limerick from the archives!  Please enjoy it! (I’ll feel guilty if you don’t!)

Doreen

There once was a girl named Doreen

Who was as tall as a mutant string bean

Even when kneeling

Her head hit the ceiling

And now both her ears have gangrene

Until next time . . . I love you

Friday Fictioneers: If It’s Not One Thing It’s Another

Welcome Dear Readers!  It’s time for Friday Fictioneers!  Which means it’s time to pack up our knapsacks with 100 words of our own choosing, hike up to the top of our imaginations and jump off!  

Here’s this week’s creatively-inspirational picture brought to us via our Friday Fictioneer Hostess, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields at her blog, Addicted to Purple. Today’s picture was lent to us by Rich Voza over at Brainsnorts.com

100_7320-1

 If It’s Not One Thing It’s Another

Melissa! The blue one! Get it!  If any fall,  we’re fired.

We should quit, Roger.

But working at Doors-into-Nowhere-Land is just — ack! the yellow one —a stepping stone to getting better jobs at Disneyland, Melissa!

But–

But what Melissa?  Hold that thought –the red one!

Couldn’t we just visit Disney– Roger! The yellow one! –land?

You mean just visit Disneyland for– oh that stupid blue one! –fun?

Yes! Let’s go tomorrow.  The red one, Roger! It’s our day off!

Hey!  Good–yikes the yellow one!–idea!

Oh Roger! I love—lookout for the blue one—you!

 * * *

Until next time . . . I love you

 

Lemonmaringuepieuary 1, Year Onesie

Dear Readers! This weekend’s Trifecta Writing Challenge says:  give us a 33-word time travel story.

Lemonmaringuepieuary 1, Year Onsie

Dear Fellow Time-Travelers,

Just a heads up.  Unless you love and I mean LOVE Lemon Maringue Pie, skip Lemonmaringuepieuary and go directly to Somepumpkinpieber.  Better pie and flying cars!

Love ya,

Time-Traveler Tina

Linda Vernon Humor Trifecta Writing Challenge
Oh Goodie! Here come the pies!

 

Until next time . . . I love you

The Pensive Potato

The Pensive Potato

Linda Vernon Humor potaot humor

The Pensive Potato, he knows not what

He’s so worried about, what’s the scuttlebutt?

Does he think about war?

Does he think about ruin?

Does he think about becoming a Boston Bruin?

 

The Pensive Potato, he doesn’t know how

He is able to worry or furrow his brow

Does he think about sin?

Does he think about death?

When pulled out of the ground does he take a deep breath?

 

 The Pensive Potato, when he looks around

He sees skillet and burner in butter he’s drowned

Does he know he exists?

Well, he probably doesn’t

In fact, he’s quite sure that he probably wasn’t

* * * 

Until next time . . . I love you

Friday Fictioneers: The Old Man and The See

Welcome Dear Readers!  Great News! If I was abducted by aliens last night, they returned me!  Proving once again it’s the little things that make life worth living.  

Speaking of making life worth living, it’s Friday Fictioneers Picture Prompt Challenge Day brought to us by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields over at her blog, Addicted to Purple.  Today’s 100-word story challenge is inspired by this picture:

the_second_hand_shop-1
Copyright – John Nixon

The Old Man and The See

Hello little lady, I see you got dishes.

Yeah.

You got anything for gout?

Sorry no.

I see you got lots of sweaters.

Uh-huh.

I was on a battleship in the Pacific in WWII. Four years.

Really.

I see you got washboards.

Uh-huh.

I was a marksman so they put me as a gunner.  I killed a lot of people.

Wow.

You got anything for gout?

Sorry no.

I see you got wedding dresses.

Yeah.

My wife’s been dead 14 years now come September.

Sorry.

I see you got clocks.

Yeah.

You got anything for gout?

Sorry no.

* * *

Until next time . . . I love you

My Brain Peanuts Remembers: Candy

Welcome Dear Readers!  I was thinking about candy yesterday. Maybe because Halloween is coming up or maybe because some days is just for sittin’ around thinkin’ ’bout candy. (Sorry, sometimes my brain, Peanuts, gets really obnoxious.)

Here’s some of the vintage gum and candy that my brain, Peanuts, remembers.

Black Jack Gum

240px-Black_jacks_gum2

Black Jack Gum was a whole heck of a lot of fun.  It had it’s own original flavor which tasted a little like black licorice but not quite.  But the really cool thing about Black Jack Gum was that it was almost black so you could put it on your teeth and make it look like your two front teeth had been knocked out.  Which is always a bonus when you’re between the ages of five and twelve 61.

Double Bubble Bubble Gum

Vintage Dubble Bubble Gum

Our local store had a box of Double Bubble Gum in the candy rack.It must have been there for many years because the Double Bubble gum was as hard as a rock, and it actually hurt to chew it. When I was a kid, I thought the funnies that came with the Double Bubble bubble gum were included to make you feel better while you were experiencing the pain of chewing.

Bazooka Bubble Gum:

Bazooka Bubble Gum Linda Vernon Humor

And an example of the comics found therein:

This one is actually funnier than I remembered.
I bought Bazooka Bubble Gum occasionally (they were a lot softer to chew) but, frankly, I preferred the Double Bubble bubble gum solely because I thought Double Bubble  comics were funnier.

Candy

I remember eating Necco Sugar Wafers as a kid.  I never really cared for them much, but for some reason I would still occasionally buy them and try to eat them.  These tended to be the kinds of candies that would end up in the dust bunnies under children’s beds all over America along with jelly beans, candy hearts and black licorice Saltwater taffy.

Necco Candy wafers
Blech!

According to Wikipedia, Necco Sugar Wafers have been around since 1847. Okay, maybe in 1847, when everything kind of sucked in general, people were fine with eating candy that tasted like Tums but why do people eat them today?  Could it be that “Tums”  is a classic flavor that will never go out of style?

Big Hunk

Linda Vernon Humor Vintage Candy Commentary

They really were big too.  And they were only a nickel!  I have no idea what they were made out of.  They did have peanuts in them, an unpleasant fact I never let deter me because the taste of the taffy-like candy would block out the taste of the peanuts or, perhaps they used peanuts that didn’t have any flavor, which was fine by me.

Then there were Jawbreakers:

Linda Vernon Humor vintage candy commentary

The particular jawbreaker that always sticks in my mind were the ones you could buy for a while in the 1950’s called Sputniks.  They were blue and had little spikes sticking out of them.  They really made your mouth sore –even more sore than stale Double Bubble bubble gum did, and they didn’t even come with comics to make you feel better while you were eating them!  Plus they tasted pretty horrible.

I suspect the Sputnick Jawbreaker was part of a government propaganda program to remind children how evil the Russian’s were for having launched a satellite up in space before we did.

Well Dear Readers, that’s about all the remembering my brain, Peanuts, is capable of today. But there are lots and lots vintage candy bars that are stuck between the teeth of my brain, Peanuts synapses — which might be worth prying loose one of these days.

In the meantime, my brain, Peanuts, wonders what your favorite candy was  a kid . . . 

Until next time . . . I love you