Friday Fictioneers

Circular Vacationing

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers, The Daily Routine , , , , , , , , ,
OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
Copyright John Dixon

George where are you? I hear you — but I can’t see you.

I’m by the crooked tree!

Which one?

The one shaped like an S.

But they’re all shaped like an S.

I’m by the one that has a curlicue branch growing out of it.

But they all have curlicue branches growing out of them.

It’s wizened!

Oh wizened. That’s helpful, George.

Hey! You’re the one who insisted on vacationing at Macramé World, Marge!  Marge?  Marge?

I’m over here, George!

Where?

By the crooked tree!

Which one?

The one that’s shaped like an S.

* * *

If you would like to participate in Friday Fictioneers, go to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple, write a 100-word story inspired by this week’s picture and  link up.  It’s fun!  It’s refreshing! You’ll like it! 

Until next time . . . I love you

 

The Smears of a Clown

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers, Peculiar Poetry , , , , , , , ,

Welcome to Wednesday (again)!  It ‘s time for Friday Fictioneers.

Here’s this weeks 100-word story inspiration picture by Janet Webb over at  This, That and the Other Thing:

janet-webbs-sangria
Copyright Janet Webb

The Smears of a Clown

Penelope Snoots was the talk of the town

When she married a man from the circus (a clown)

Who thought himself clever at messing around

With oil paints, charcoals and color crans (brown)

 

His  pockets were empty – he was really quite vain

(Though his face was Picasso on drugs when it rained)

Yet Penelope loved him in ways unexplained

Cause her wine limit was . . . shall we say . . .  unconstrained?

 

One day he took fruit and chopped it up nicely

Combined strawberries, wine and cantaloupes thricely

He killed her and placed her on ice cubes concisely

Then he painted Penelope’s portrait precisely

 

"See how much better I can paint you when you hold still, Penelope?"
“See how much better I can paint you when you hold still, Penelope?  I know you can’t answer that.  It was rhetorical.”

Of course Wednesday means it’s time for 100-words of fun hosted every week by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple.  Pop over and join us.  The more the merrier!

Until next time . . . I love you

Friday Fictioneers: Let There Be Loot

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers , , , , , , , , ,

Welcome Dear Readers to Friday Fictioneers hosted most graciously every week  by Rochelle at Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple.  

This week we are writing a 100-word story for a picture taken by Dawn  at Lingering Visions who has some  beautiful pictures on her blog for your viewing pleasure.

Copyright Dawn M. Miler
Copyright Dawn M. Miler

Let There Be Loot

Pendleton! Round up these lamps and return them immediately!

I can’t.

Why?

They were on sale — buy one, get 37  half off.

I’m not buying it, Pendleton.

Funny you should mention not buying.

Pendleton you didn’t rob–

Just Lamps?  Yes I did actually.

But you just got released from prison for robbing—

Just Toast Ovens.  I know.

Will you be going on the lam now, Pendleton?

Yes, but I have one stop to make first.

Where Pendleton? Just Shades?

No.

Just Bulbs?  Just Cords?

I’m leaving now dear.

Just On/Off Switches?

Take care of yourself!

Just Sockets?

I’ll write.

* * *

Until next time . . . I love you

The First 100 Words of Constanza Credenza

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers, Peculiar Poetry , , , , , , , ,

Welcome Dear Readers!  While I was climbing to the top of Wednesday, I  accidentally slipped and fell into Thursday.  I coudn’t reach my computer as  it was still in Wednesday!   My computer finally caught up with me this morning!  Just in time for Friday Fictioneers on Thursday.  Yay!   A round of calendars for everyone — on me!

Thank you to Rochelle at Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple who’s hard work makes it possible for us to have so much 100-word writing fun!

This week’s picture is brought to us by Claire Fuller.  Visit   Claire Fuller   and read about her fantastic novel publishing success!

claire-fuller-2

The First 100 Words of Constanza Credenza

Constanza Credenza had horrible eyes

She saw splotches and blotches (they weren’t organized)

She’d grope around blindly while trying to fake

Like she knew that the pie she was eating was cake

 

Constanza Credenza had horrible feet

Whenever she put on her Keds they’d preheat

So that placing a piece of white bread on her shoe

Would cause it to toast to a golden brown hue

 

Constanza  Credenza was horribly rude

Plus when she sat down her pancreas moo-ed!

The poor dear, she drank and was often besotted

(But to list all her faults takes more words than allotted)

* * *

Until next time . . . I love you

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday Fictioneers: Babette Bladderini Gets a Better Part

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers, The Daily Routine , , , , , , ,

Guess what Dear Readers?  I was running in the house yesterday and somebody left a calendar on the floor and I tripped over Tuesday and landed flat on my Wednesday.  Luckily, I was able to hobble to my keyboard and cobble together a 100-word story for this week’s Friday Fictioneers.

Björn Rudberg provided the picture this week.  He’s a really wonderful writer and you can magically materialize over at his blog and check out all his great stuff here   → Yes! I want to magically materialize over at Bjorn’s Blog!

Little Village
Copyright – Björn Rudberg

Babette Bladderini Gets a Better Part

The day Babette Bladderini was killed in a landslide was a strange blessing. Babette was born between bullets exchanged by the Bladderini clan and their mortal enemies, the Parcheesi’s.

While being born, a bullet grazed Babette’s head, leaving a permanent part in her hair a little too far to the left, and Babette’s fate was sealed.  She lived her entire existence never knowing a good hair day.

Then, a landslide.  The Parcheesi house slid over the top of Babette’s head, killing her instantly while simultaneously parting her hair right down the middle.

Oh that fate.  Always a day late and a dollar short.

* * *

Until next time . . . I love you

If you would like to try your hand at  Friday Fictioneers, pop over to our Friday Fictioneers’ hostess’s blog at Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple and Rochelle to get all the details.  And don’t worry, she won’t give you an apron and a big stack of dishes to wash.  (I think she finally got her dishwasher fixed).

Friday Fictioneers: Earth’s Shimmering Orb and Whatnot

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers , , , , , , ,

Welcome Dear Readers!  It’s time once again for Friday Fictioneers where writers from all over the wold gather to play a rousing game of football.  Oh wait . . . never mind — I was thinking of the Friday Buccaneers.

Actually Friday Fictioneers (organized by Rochelle Wisoff Fields over at addicted to purple) get together once a week to write a 100-word story prompted by a picture — which this week is provided to us by Erin Leary over at erinlearywrites.  Hop over and take a look a look around Erin’s blog.  I think you’ll find she’s as good a writer as she is a photographer.

This is such a beautiful picture prompt this week, but, of course, my brain, Peanuts, had to completely ignore all the beautiful scenarios that could have been created and came up with the following instead:

copyright-erin-leary
Copyright — Erin Leary

Earth’s Shimmering Orb and Whatnot

Betty watched as earth’s shimmering orb slowly deflated into the milky horizon almost like a slowly deflating tire but not exactly, of course.

Then Betty noticed that the beauty of the scene was causing her eyes to fill up with tears in direct proportion to the speed of the air being released from the tire Betty was imagining — which caused Betty to do two things:  1) Marvel at the perfection of the universe and 2) remind her husband, Bob, to check the air pressure on the tires of her Volvo and maybe check the oil too and whatnot.

* * *

Until next time . . . I love you

Friday Fictioneers: A Day at Mermen Realty

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers, The Daily Routine , , , , , , , ,

Welcome Dear Readers!  You might be wondering why I’ve been absent from Friday Fictioneers of late.   The truth is I was lost at the dry  cleaners.  They never did find me.  I’ve been replaced with a clone.  I’m just like my original self except I smell more like chemicals than I used to.

And now onto some Friday Fictioneer 100-word fiction fun!  Hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple.  Today’s really cool picture was provided to us by Dawn Q. Landau over at Tales of the Motherland.

Copyright-Dawn Q. Landau
Copyright-Dawn Q. Landau

 A Day at Mermen Realty

A million for this? You gotta be kidding!

It was Poseidon’s Hollywood-crowd hideaway.  There’s Hollywood history everywhere!  See this?  That’s not just any stain.  That’s where Ethel Merman threw up seaweed pate! And lookee!  Here’s where Darrel Hannah carved her initials.

In the toilet seat?

That’s another good feature –indoor plumbing!

But there’s only a seat.

You’re half-way there, then, aren’t you?

But there’s no roof?

Roof schmoof!  It’s beachfront.

And the beach is . . . .

It appears when the tide’s out.

A million huh?

Listen, you could get $998,999 for the Ethel Merman stain alone.

Okay Zeus.  It’s a deal!

* * *

Until next time . . . I love you

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday Fictioneers: Life at the End of a Styrofoam Cup

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers , , , , , , , ,

Welcome Dear Readers and Friday Fictioneers!  Well tomorrow’s Thanksgiving and what better way to prepare a huge feast for a house full of turkey gobblers than to write a 100-word appetizer.

Here’s the  picture Rochelle over at Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple  has provided for this week’s Firday Fictioneer shenanigans.

Copyright - Ted Strutz
Copyright – Ted Strutz

 Life on the End of a Styrofoam Cup

Captain Crimony steers the ferryboat with his boot and expertly sips his Irish coffee through a Styrofoam cup he holds between his teeth and plays solitaire.

Thus, Captain Crimony plows through the murky waters of Puget Sound like a willful child plows through a slab of wet cement, day in and day out.

One day, Captain Crimony hits an oil tanker.

Now, Captain Crimony sits on his couch, and expertly sips his Irish coffee in a Styrofoam cup he holds between his teeth, and plays solitaire.

Thus, he awaits  his disability checks, day in and day out.

* * *

Until next time . . . I love you

Friday Fictioneers: Newberry’s Ambition

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers , , , , , , , , ,

Welcome Dear Readers to this week’s Friday Fictioneer 100-word story, picture prompt.  I’m mighty glad to be participating this week, having had to sit out last week’s fun due to shoelacing difficulties.   As always, thank you to our hostess, Rochelle, at Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple.

Copyright - Sean Fallon
Copyright – Sean Fallon

Newberry’s Ambition

Plastic men have ambitions too.  Newberry’s ambition was flight.

Newberry was originally meant to be an angel, but careless removal from his mold snapped off his wings.

So, when no one was looking, Newberry tried to achieve flight by flapping his arms.  One day his arms came unhinged, slipped to the floor through the dark-blue sleeves of his casual, button-down cardigan and collided with a pair of four-inch heels — launching the occupant therein airborn until she finally came to rest on the makeup counter two isles over.

Newberry had achieved flight!

Armless ergo handless, Newberry gave himself a mental thumbs up.

* * *

Until next time . . . I love you

Friday Fictioneers: Rodney Dangerfish

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers, The Daily Routine , , , , , , , ,

Welcome Dear Readers! It’s time Friday Fictioneers brought to us through the miracle of technology and the miracle of Rochell Wisoff Field’s blog Addicted to Purple. 

Go over and check out the picture, write a 100-word story about it and link up! You’ll never regret it.  It’s as easy as shooting fish in a barrel although we would NEVER actually do something like that! Would we?

And now for this week’s picture prompt:

Copy
Copyright – Douglas M. MacIlroy

Rodney Dangerfish

It’s my birthday. But do any of these suckers care?  I don’t get no respect.

The other day I saw a friend of mine,  Buckminster.  I says hey, Buckminster, how’s it goin?  And he says hi Marla.  So I told him, my name’s not Marla, Marla’s my girlfriend.  He says, what a coincidence, she’s my girlfriend too!”

I don’t get no respect.

I told the Big Kahuna it was my birthday.  He says Happy Birthday, Marla.  I says thanks but my name’s not Marla, Marla’s my girlfriend but she has the same birthday.

Big Kahuna says what a coincidence.  She’s my girlfriend too.

Rodney Dangerfish. He gets no respect.
Rodney Dangerfish. He gets no respect.

Until next time . . . I love you

Friday Fictioneers: The Day Beethoven Schlepped

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers , , , , , , , , , ,

Welcome Dear Readers!

It’s time for the  fabulousness of the Friday Fictioneers where bloggers from around the solar system are challenged to write a 100-word story prompted by the weekly picture hosted and posted by Rochelle Wisoff Fields over at Addicted to Purple.  This week’s picture was provided by Rochelle herself:

copyright – Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Copyright – Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

The Day Beethoven Over Schlepped

Beethoven!

What now, Mozart?

You broke my piano!

But I was sleeping.

You broke it when you rolled over, Beethoven!  You’re a horrible roommate!

You’re no prize yourself, Zart.

I told you to call me Mozart!  It suits my artistic temperament better!

Really? Better than knucklehead?

That does it! Pack your symphonies and go move in with Schubert.

Ah come on!  You know that guy puts the phony in symphony.  Listen, I’ll buy us a new piano.

And the garbage?

I’m Beethoven, I don’t schlep.

Do I have to call Schubert?

Okay! Don’t get your fingers in a knot! I’m schlepping, I’m schlepping.

* * *

Until next time . . . I love you

Friday Fictioneers: Harvey and Delores Buy a New Rowboat

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers , , , , , , , , ,

Welcome Dear Readers to Friday Fictioneers where participants write a 100-word story about the picture below, while at the same time going over Niagara Falls in a barrel with nothing but a laptop, a flashlight and a deep desire to be creative.

Here’s this week’s cool picture taken by Janet Webb over at her blog, This That and The Other Thing:

Copyright Janet Webb
Copyright Janet Webb

Harvey and Delores Buy a New Rowboat

“I just love Global Warming, Harvey!  I’ve lost ten pounds already on my all-fish diet!”

“You look great, Delores.  Love your shoes!”

“Thanks. I got them at Just Galoshes!”

“Oh no!  Delores!  Our new rowboat’s sprung a leak!”

“What? Where’d you get it? Oh don’t tell me!  Al Gore’s Rowboat Palace and Oar Emporium?”

“Yes.”

“Please say you got a life-time warranty, Harvey.”

“No.”

“A two-year, no-leak service plan?”

“No.”

“A 30-day guarantee?”

“No.”

“Did you get anything?”

“Just a pat on the back and two-week’s free Internet service.”

“That’s it?”

“And Al’s personal assurance.”

“Which was?”

“You’ll never Tipper!”

"Come buy my rowboats!"
“Come buy my rowboats!  Yeah!”

* * *

Thank you Rochelle Wisoff-Fields over at Addicted to Purple for faithfully hosting this super-fun challenge each and every week.

And if you haven’t tried your hand at Friday Fictioneers, Dear Readers, I highly recommend it  —  if you’re a bit squeamish about going over Niagara Falls in a barrel — I’m pretty sure that part’s optional. (But double-check with Rochelle, just to be on the save side, huh?)

Until next time . . . I love you

Friday Fictioneers: Brunhilda’s Amphitheater

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers, The Daily Routine , , , , , , , , ,

Welcome Dear Readers to Friday Ficitoneers where writers are challenged to write a 100-word story about the picture that’s posted each week .  

Here’s this week’s picture:

Copyright Sandra Crook
Copyright Sandra Crook

Brunhilda’s Amphitheater 

 With an amphitheater in her backyard, Brunhilda lacked for nada

She’d climb to the top of the stairs each day and eat an enchilada

With an amphitheater in her backyard, Brunhilda bought a slinky

She’d let it go at the top of the stairs then watch til it got dinky

With an amphitheater in her backyard, Brunhilda had the audacity

For giving parties of 5,000 or more because, hey! She had the capacity

With an amphitheater in her backyard, Brunhilda thanked the gods

Because having an amphitheater so close, I mean really now — what are the odds?

This week’s picture was brought to us via the courtesy of Sandra Crook’s camera. Thank you Sandra!   And, of course, thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields over at Addicted to Purple who sets up this super-fun challenges for everyone each week.

 Until next time  . . . I love you

Friday Fictioneers: Trevor, Satan’s Admin Guy

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers , , , , , , , , , ,

Welcome Dear Readers to this week’s Friday Fictioneers’ 100-word story picture-prompt challenge!  Here’s this week’s picture prompt:

seagulls-wicklund
Copyright – E.A. Wicklund

Trevor, Satan’s Admin Guy

Come into my office, Trevor

Yes Mr. Satan.

Call me Beelzebub. 

Yes Mr. Satan.

What’s on today’s agenda?

Shoveling the good intentions off the road, sir.

Cancel.

Why?

I hear the Lord’s creating seagulls today. We need to sabotage that effort.  Ideas?

Annoying squawks, sir?

I like that!

They could love eating garbage, sir.

Sweet! What else?

They could pester the hell out of picnickers.

Perfect!  Take the afternoon off, Trevor!

Thank you!

And Trevor?

Yes?

Pick up my blue dress from the cleaners on your way home, but keep it on the down low, huh?

Yes Mr. Satan.

If you want to join the Friday Fictioneers story-writing challenge fun, check out the details at  Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ blog Addicted to Purple. where a wonderful group of supportive writers hang out.  Write a 100-word story about the picture she posts each week!  It’s a whole lot of fun and I highly recommend you give whirl!  

Until next time. . . I love you

Friday Fictioneers: If It’s Not One Thing It’s Another

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers, The Daily Routine , , , , , , ,

Welcome Dear Readers!  It’s time for Friday Fictioneers!  Which means it’s time to pack up our knapsacks with 100 words of our own choosing, hike up to the top of our imaginations and jump off!  

Here’s this week’s creatively-inspirational picture brought to us via our Friday Fictioneer Hostess, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields at her blog, Addicted to Purple. Today’s picture was lent to us by Rich Voza over at Brainsnorts.com

100_7320-1

 If It’s Not One Thing It’s Another

Melissa! The blue one! Get it!  If any fall,  we’re fired.

We should quit, Roger.

But working at Doors-into-Nowhere-Land is just — ack! the yellow one —a stepping stone to getting better jobs at Disneyland, Melissa!

But–

But what Melissa?  Hold that thought –the red one!

Couldn’t we just visit Disney– Roger! The yellow one! –land?

You mean just visit Disneyland for– oh that stupid blue one! –fun?

Yes! Let’s go tomorrow.  The red one, Roger! It’s our day off!

Hey!  Good–yikes the yellow one!–idea!

Oh Roger! I love—lookout for the blue one—you!

 * * *

Until next time . . . I love you