Welcome Dear Readers! While I was climbing to the top of Wednesday, I accidentally slipped and fell into Thursday. I coudn’t reach my computer as it was still in Wednesday! My computer finally caught up with me this morning! Just in time for Friday Fictioneers on Thursday. Yay! A round of calendars for everyone — on me!
Thank you to Rochelle at Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple who’s hard work makes it possible for us to have so much 100-word writing fun!
This week’s picture is brought to us by Claire Fuller. Visit Claire Fuller and read about her fantastic novel publishing success!
The First 100 Words of Constanza Credenza
Constanza Credenza had horrible eyes
She saw splotches and blotches (they weren’t organized)
She’d grope around blindly while trying to fake
Like she knew that the pie she was eating was cake
Constanza Credenza had horrible feet
Whenever she put on her Keds they’d preheat
So that placing a piece of white bread on her shoe
Would cause it to toast to a golden brown hue
Constanza Credenza was horribly rude
Plus when she sat down her pancreas moo-ed!
The poor dear, she drank and was often besotted
(But to list all her faults takes more words than allotted)
* * *
Until next time . . . I love you
Linda Vernon Humor 
Costanza may invented have a new and improved way if making toast on the go!
I just live your poems. Keep em coming!
I’m apparently on a poetry kick this week! And yes she could opening up a toasting booth at the fair or something.
Maybe you could have done this in multiple parts.
There are a lot of boxes to fill in those calendars on you…
You’re right! One down 364 to go! 😀
(thank goodness it’s not a leap year!)
Haha! It’s the little things that make life worth living!
Does toe jam come with that toast? I can see why she had so many friends. 🙂
Good question. I’ll check and get back to you.
Cracking yarn in verse – like it!
Thanks Mike!
Her pancreas moo-ed.
See, I think today you’re a little more Dr. Seuss than Shel Silverstein. For one, you come up with the greatest names — Oh, Linda, you are one funny lady! Your silly poems bring a smile to my face, often when it needs it the most!
I’m not writing this week, but I’d love it if you’d drop by my blog for a second anyway, I posted a big announcement today, and a shameless appeal for help.
Thank you Helena! And I will definitely drop by and check out your announcement!
That was too funny! I could just picture the poor girl in my mind. What a mess! My mind too. hahaha. Good going Linda. 🙂
Thanks Jackie. She really is a mess!
I clicked on this purely for the Constanza and its similiarity to Costanza. Costanze, can’t stand ya!
Hahaha!
I was not aware that a pancreas mooed!
What? You mean your pancreas doesn’t moo? That’s odd . . . .
Nope! Is that odd?
Well if your pancreas doesn’t moo what does it do? (If you don’t mind me asking)
Do I even have one?
LOL! I’m not sure actually . . .
Do you know anyone who would know?! 😉
I could try to get into contact with one of my kidneys, one of them might know . . .
Now there’s an idea
I’m on it. I wonder if they have e-mail?
They may it’s the year 2014 so it’s time that they did.
Here! Here!! 😀
This is such a good pastiche, I had to check myself that I hadn’t been reading it to my daughters at bedtime for years.
Ah! What a nice comment, thank you!
Good one Linda, poor Connie, what an affliction, a mooing pancreas. Must have been embarrassing in church.
Yes Connie. I can only hope she thought the mooing was coming from someone else’s pancreas. (You know I never thought I’d have a reason to type that last sentence in my entire life and here I am typing it. — Just goes to show you, you never know what’s waiting around the corner every day!) 😀
Witty Connie is quite a character.
Connie is a dark horse alright — no wait I think that’s her spleen.
I was hooked by the pancreas that moo-d but I notice so were others…. I didn’t think it was the pancreas that did that but another appendage …lol Diane
LOL! Well, I think it’s some kind of medical mystery from driving through (Old) MacDonald’s (Farm) too often. 😀
🙂
janet
Too much I’d have to explain to my kids in there…. good thing they’re asleep. Wonderful, Linda.
Thanks Trent. Good. Then the pancreas mooing isn’t keeping them awake. 😀
her pancreas moo-ed! hahaha 🙂 oh you’re brilliant.
Thanks KZ!! 😀
That was just wonderful. Thanks for sharing this with us.
I’m so glad you liked it. I had a lot of fun with it. 😀
I don’t know where you go in your head… 🙂
Ha! I think my entire cerebral cortex is dedicated to nuts. 😀
“The First 100 Words of Constanza Credenza” hints of more to come and I can’t wait–fun poem for an early Friday AM.
Hey you just gave me an idea for a new series on my blog, vb!
This was a great change of pace and very funny. Poor Constanza!
Thanks. I’m glad you liked hearing about poor Constanza!
Well done!
Thanks you! And thanks for coming by! 😀
Quick, someone allot more words! I want to hear more about Constanza in hilarious verse 🙂
Ha! I’ll send a request of to Rochelle post haste drailman!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heAw4z71lvo Truly wonderful, Linda!
Ahaha! Thank you so much for the applause! What a great way to start out my day!! 😀
Just sorry you only had 100 words… if ever there was a week to push those boundaries, I think we’d all like a lot more of Constanza!
Ah! Thank you so much! I must say, I could have gone on and on. Poor Constanza!
Sounds like a children’s adult book to me! 😉
Oh I’m so glad to hear you say that! I’ve just started work on one! 😀
Bravo, bravo!
Lovely. I’m getting hints of Lewis Carroll and Edward Lear. Great.
Patrick, thank you for that really nice compliment! You totally made my day!!
Dear Linda,
I’m not sure which disturbs me more, the mooing pancreas or the toast a’la Keds. But they went together so well in your verse. Now all you need are illustrations. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
Illustrations! Good idea! I should have thought that but what with all the mooing I just couldn’t hear myself think!
How amusing! Made me smile at the expense of Costanza Credenza… 🙂
Ah! So glad to hear it Freya!
Oh keds shaped toaster and pancreas which are cows?This Constanza Credenza is definitely has all the fun for she can eat pie yet think she is eating cake-double treat-so what if she drank and had horrible eyes and her feet were smelly?LOL!Linda you are a riot! 😀
Well when you put it all together like that, it makes me laugh too. Thanks Atreyee! So good so see you! 😀
:-)I am here and writing but how come I never see you on my pg?Forgotten me Linda?
I’m sorry Atreyee! I love you and your writing! I have major time management problems! I really do! I need to figure out some sort of system where I can go to all the blogs of the people I love on a more regular basis! HELP! Do you have a method as to how you manage your writing and commenting? I need a method! HELP LOL!!
Ha!ha!Just a couple of hours back I was lamenting about the same 😛 Am definite that those who manage,writing,reading and commenting at break-neck speed have a magic wand-am planning to steal one soon-want to jump on the band wagon ? 😉
Ahaha! I know what you mean! I don’t know how they do it! I must be a slow reader! LOL! 😀 I
Me too-would you believe it,it took me about four plus hours to get through the 35 stories at speak easy-now to vote!Then Dverse and read and comment on a select few-don’t have the stamina or the mind power to read through deep stuff that poets there pour out so easily every day and there 100 plus entries there-then tomorrow I read and vote on Trifecta-60 plus there already-then write for FF & start reading the usually 90 plus entries there-& I obsess a bit on reading everything AND returning the favour,which makes it worse ,lol!
Oh you are a better person than I Atreyee! LOL! I think the trouble I have with blogging is that it’s so hard to sustain a fast and furious pace like that. It’s fun and exciting, but like you said, it takes a lot of stamina and mind power to read through so many stories and really give them your full attention without burning out. And that’s not even counting the writing! LOL! I keep thinking I need some sort of a system so the time I’m online, I’d be more efficient, but I here I am going into my fourth year of blogging and I haven’t found one yet! 😀
I think that’s because you write for yourself-you love what you do and are really,really creative-you have carved a niche for yourself and you are excellent in your genre:-)Also,you spend a lot of time away from the computer and have a lot of family ties,other than social commitments-so that means u manage time in an excellent way(unlike me,lol).On the other hand,I started writing to keep myself mentally active-am terrified of losing my mind-and to test if I could do it.Re the reading and commenting part-I usually stick to the contests and the participants there in-earlier I used to follow blindly,but then I realized I just don’t have that kid of time and hey what’s the use of following someone if I cannot even read and comment-i hate just “liking”-though have been doing it a few times-,of late 😛 Guess ,just like real life,blogosphere also creates a lot of pressure-trying to keep up with the Joneses,lol!
Ah! Thank you for your kinds words Atreyee. I really do love writing in my niche and that’s what the best part of blogging is. You get to say what you want to say. And you don’t have to mold yourself into what you think an editor might like! As a basically shy and retiring person, through blogging I have put myself out there and the more I did that, the more confidence I’ve gained. So blogging is also a great confidence builder for us writers and I do think we are mostly introverted. Not that introverted people don’t have confidence, but I’d say we tend to not want to take front and center stage if we can possibly help it! LOL!!
And you are so right about keeping up with the Joneses! It is really easy to get caught up in the feverishness and put too much pressure on ourselves to write and read and comment — there’s just no end to it. I think sticking to the contests and challenges is a really smart way to go about it.
Am so glad you have Linda and the joy you derive is evident in your pieces:-)I feel its tough to make ppl laugh-esp in this harassed,hectic,stressed out world-so you are doing a favour to the rest of us by making us laugh 🙂
I always thot of myself as an extrovert but I have lately realized,I am a mix-I can make friends easily and am comfortable in any situation but at the same time I do not like to be centre stage-have not yet learnt to accept compliments in the spirit it is given-makes me uncomfortable-possibly an inner insecurity or lack of confidence in one’s own abilities or some thg more complicated-no idea-so am glad to note that it will help me build that confidence 🙂
Yes,it is one strategy I am going to stick to-till I find somethg better-have un-followed many blogs cos I found neither they nor me ever visited back or commented or anythg-so ,goodbye seemed a better option,lol! Am looking forward to reading your FF entry-hope you are going to enter-I will start thinking about the photo prompt tomorrow-hopefully by then I will have read and voted on Trifecta-am wading thru Dverse now-FB is open on another tab-all my fingers in lots of pies and the head in another wok 😀
I am going to enter FF. I have to go to the dentist in just a little while so I’ll be writing mine tomorrow too! I did exactly what you did. I went through and unfollowed just about everyone and started with a blank slate for the new year. HA! Isn’t that funny that we had the same epiphany.
Dentist?Oh,wish you all the best:-)
Ha!ha!Yes,I had the same thought but unlike you I lost patience after a while and just deleted some 😛 Am very impatient and keep flitting -no wonder I can do only half the thgs I plan-Sam says am like an overgrown kid,lol!See u tomorrow then-it was wonderful chatting on comments like this-we must mail each other sometime-tc ,love u xx
I too am an overgrown kid! I like to think of myself as basically responsible. But I’m not so good at the little things. When I was in school I only did enough to get a decent grade . . . sigh. I’ve just never had that A student drive or responsibility in me!! No matter how hard I try!
Ha!ha!Responsibility has nothing to do with keeping the kid in you alive and kicking I feel-so no worries there Linda-keep smiling and be yourself-the kid in you is obvious in your writings-don’t ever let it hide!Grades are pah-no barometer for IQ or anything-just a part of life.I know for I have been there-very average friends of mine have done much better in life than me-yes,the fire in the belly is a must-I too never was driven,lol!How did the dentist’s visit go?
Have still not got down to writing for FF tho Sam has submitted her’s-hope u read it-I liked the piece:-)
Oh,need a little help from you-I won my first badge( for horror-55 words) but have no idea how to get that badge on my blog-can you help?Will be asking a few others who are close-whoever sees it first cos it must be all late night for you all there-thanks in advance:-)
Pure fun!
Thank you Dawn. So glad you liked it! 😀
How ever do you come up with such hilarious poetry? Really, poor Constanza, mixing up pie and cake like that! Love this 😀
Truthfully I don’t come up with them. I just put my brain, Peanuts, on autopilot. So glad you liked it! 😀
Oh poor girl… btw.. you should write limericks..
Other than that she’s doing pretty good. I’ve really never written a limerick, Maybe I’ll give it a whirl one of these WedFridays.
You are so funny! Constanza Credenza was maybe eating Boston Cream Pie – it’s sort of pie/cake or cake/pie – I never can get that straight.
Yeah! Boston Cream Pie — Is it pie or is it cake? I didn’t have the nerve to even try cheese cake until I was about 25 years old because the thought of a cake made out of cheese never sounded very appetizing to me!