Welcome Dear Readers to this week’s edition of Gregory’s Bible Stories. Today Gregory learned about what happened after Cain killed his brother and God forced him to run away from home. Let’s listen in, shall we?
Cain Takes a Wife or Hey! Where’d You Come From?
After God kicked Cain out of Eden territory, Cain wandered around until he came to the land of Nod, known for it’s quiet motels.
After that Cain got married. It was a pretty small wedding ceremony as Cain’s parents didn’t go because they were still mad at him for killing Abel and thought it was super unfair that if anybody killed Cain seven people would have to be killed –especially since, at that point, there were only three people on earth. (This was way before God created the calculator.)
Anyway, if the bible knows where Cain’s wife came from it isn’t telling, but nevertheless, Cain and his wife soon had a bouncing baby boy, and they named the poor little thing Enoch.
Right away Cain started remodeling his tent, adding on a nursery and whatnot until next thing you know, Cain had added on an entire city which he also named Enoch which sometimes got confusing for them.
Mrs. Cain: Honey have you seen Enoch?
Cain: Have I seen it? I built it!
Mrs. Cain: No I mean Enoch, the baby.
Cain: We have a baby?
Mrs. Cain: Cain!!!
Cain: Ha ha just kidding, honey.
Mrs. Cain: Well don’t be so cavalier. He’s a pretty important little baby because as it stands right now there’s your mom and dad and you and me and the baby representing the entire human race.
Cain: And we’re not even sure about you.
Mrs. Cain: Cain!!
Cain: Ha ha just kidding, honey.
After that, Cain and his wife settled into a very quiet life in the land of Nod. One day, Enoch got married. (Apparently God had whipped up another batch of women while the bible wasn’t looking.)
For the next several generations, all anybody ever did was have kids and see who could come up with the most difficult names to pronounce, the uglier the better. There was Mehujael and Methushael and Lamech, and there was also a guy named Jubal who named his daughter a name not even liked by God, Zillah.
Soon the place was buzzing with people living in tents, tending livestock, learning to play harps and flutes and making all kinds of tools out of bronze and iron. It was so noisy no one could hear anybody else calling their name — which was one of God’s biggest blessings thus far.
Right about this time Adam and Eve decided to have a third child whom they named Seth. (Adam and Eve had much better taste in names.) Seth which loosely translated means: one who has many horribly named aunts and uncles, lived to be 807 years old, and spent most of that time addressing Christmas card envelopes.
But of all Cain’s descendants, it was Methuselah who really took the cake, living to be 969 years old, and tragically dying of birthday cake overdose.
Well there you have it, Dear Readers, what Gregory learned today in Sunday School today. Please check back next week for more of Gregory’s bible stories.
Until next time . . . I love you
Linda Vernon Humor 
Is it Monday/Sunday so soon? Oh my I have questions Linda. If Cain and his wife lived in a tent and extended it, who actually made the tent in the first place or was it one of those God given things? Who in fact decided a tent was the way to go anyway, I think living in one only encourages you to invent bricks. And I agree, where did all those women come from. The Old Testament is a bit like the universe isn’t it, we know its out there but we have bugger all idea how it got there.
LOL! That is so true about the old testament, Michael! HA! Very good point. Cain built a city, but who was it for? There’s lots of references in the story to others being around, when Adam and Eve were supposed to be the only people in existence. Like Cain left in the direction of Nod after he killed his brother. Who named it Nod? And how did he know he was going in that direction? (Who’s supposed to be telling the story even?)
Isn’t it fun speculating though at the flaws in the story.
Though watch out for bolts of lightning should we question too much.
I think what I need to take is a bolt of lightning dodging class. I wonder if my gym offers them. I bet they do.