My Little Loch Ness Monster

My Little Loch Ness Monster

Lock Ness Monster by Linda VernonI have a Loch Ness monster who follows me around

He slaps his feet and quacks his beak but I don’t hear a sound

(I  keep a roll of cotton in my ears to tone it down)


My little Loch Ness Monster is hardly ever sick

Oh sure,  he’ll fake a stomach ache  —  but that is just his shtick

And that time he ate my neighbor? It was just a nervous tic


Oh my little Loch Ness Monster,  I ride him everywhere

Except for under bridges so he doesn’t mess his hair

And we stay away from bumpy roads—just too much wear and tear


My little Loch Ness Monster, he loves People Magazine

He eats those little cards he finds on pages in-between

(I think he does this mostly cause it’s healthy for his spleen)


My little Loch Ness Monster is fat and round and blue

He’d tie his own shoe laces but he cannot find his shoe

Just like  Marlon Brando, Orson Welles and Mister Depardieu

Orson Wells Marlon Brando Gerard Depardieu
‘Oh yeah Little Loch Ness Monster?   We don’t even wear shoes, so there!

 Until next time . . . I love you

25 thoughts on “My Little Loch Ness Monster

  1. Wonderful as always, darling. I have one suggestion — the last line — the rhythm is off… try: Just like Brando, Orson Welles and Mister Gerard Depardieu.

  2. Linda, its: “Loch”….not: “Lock”. Quickly go back and change the spelling and then reply to my comment with: “Yes, I know it is. I am not sure what point you are trying to make. Always interesting to read your thoughts.

  3. Who?? Who’s going to mop up all these tears I cried while laughing so hard at your wonder poem?? Loved the kick in the pants to the Fat Tubs Three (hey, they’re not gonna feel it anyway), and as someone who absolutely despises those @#$$%%^* little cards you hafta rip outta magazines, I’d so ’nuff like to shake LLNM’s paw!!!

    Brilliant and wonderfully over-the-top, my dear!! : )

    • Mark. You and LLNM have so much in common! I just realized I should have included our dear Al in the fat tubs three, but then he probably would have sank the tub for sure! And then my little loch ness monster would have to save him and I know my little loch ness monster hates Funyun breath so I guess it’s all good!

      Thank you so much, Markie MacGiggles, for your kind and wonderful words! 😀

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