Hello Dear Readers! Today is a life changing day. After reading today’s post, you will not only go away a person of exemplary character, you will, more importantly, know exactly what to do to keep your liver tender! So without further adieu, let’s start changing our lives by way of Mary Ellen’s Helpful Kitchen Hints!
Let’s begin by zeroing in on some of the more riveting and exciting helpful hints:
Corn on the Cob Not in the Teeth!
This is just the kind of hint we love Mary Ellen so dearly for. In a mere 19 words, Mary Ellen has managed to solve the centuries-old heartbreak of that awkward, corn-silky smile! Oops, I think Mary Ellen forgot to mention to be sure to remember to clean off your husband’s toothbrush and put it back just as he left it when you’re done de-silking corn with it. (He’ll never know!) Oh Mary Ellen, you sly one you!
Mary Ellen’s Cottage Cheese Discovery
After years of exhaustive testing, Mary Ellen can finally say that cottage cheese stays fresher longer when stored upside down in the refrigerator just like Mary Ellen’s cat does, and just like Mary Ellen’s parakeet does and just like Mary Ellen’s husband does! Who knew? (Mary Ellen knew that’s who!)
Feats with Meats Not to Be Confused with Meat with Feets
Oh we’ll be thanking our beloved Mary Ellen for years to come for this one! Simply go to your local hardware store and find something shaped like a tube, like maybe a pipe. Then stop off at the welders and have it welded into the length of a package of bacon. After that, there’s only one more stop to make at Office Depot where you can purchase rubber bands.
Now, Mary Ellen doesn’t make mention of what size the rubber bands should be, but listen, Mary Ellen knows there are some just things in life we have to figure out for ourselves, Dear Readers, and I’m afraid this is one of them.
But it will all be worth it because, in the long run, we’ll be saving ourselves valuable time when it comes to peeling one piece of bacon apart from the one it’s stuck to. And what could be better than that? The answer is zilch, people, zilch!
High Liver High Liver High Lo
And now for the pièce de résistance, Dear Readers! The reason that you have read thus far and that is to find out the all important information of how to keep your liver tender! Well, our Dear Mary Ellen simply takes the liver, soaks it in milk, refrigerates it two hours, dries it, breads it and sautes it.
Well, if it worked for the livers of Mary Ellen’s cat and Mary Ellen’s parakeet and Mary Ellen’s husband, whose to say it won’t work for us, Dear Readers?
Until next time (when we discuss how Mary Ellen will be removing her mustache) . . . I love you