Screw It Monday

Hello Dear Readers!  Now I know it’s Monday, and we Go-Get-‘er Americans are always supposed to be productive as all get out on Mondays or at least look like we are, but today Dear Readers, I say screw it! (Yes, I’m even pulling out the word “screw”  –sometimes I get in a mood and there’s no holding me back!)

What’s say we recklessly thumb through an old book instead, shall we?

Here’s a book I found  at the thrift store. (Quelle surprise !)  It’s entitled Horizon.  But it’s really more like a magazine. It’s a collection of random topics and pictures.  Here’s the cover:

Horizon, American Heritage Publishing Company Linda Vernon Humor
The book says this portrait is called A Lady with a Pink.  It is the work of Hans Memling from the 15th century,  which means it was either painted in the 1400’s or the 1600’s. I can never get that straight, but then again, that’s the least of my problems. Let’s just take a wild guess and say it was painted in 1473 and be done with it.  There now, wasn’t that easy?

Okay, now let’s imagine a dialogue between Hans Memling and his wife right after he showed her  A Lady with a Pink:

Wife:  Honey It’s adorable! Ah!  I just love that little spit curl at the top of her forehead.

Hans:  Thank you.

Wife: But, honey, may I make a suggestion?  Don’t you think her head’s a skosh too big? I mean doesn’t she look like she’s got a five-head going on?


Hans:  What? No! Her head really looks like that.

Wife:  Okay,  but I think you might want to erase some of her head.  But leave in the spit curl.  That spit curl just makes it pop. What are you calling it?

Hans:  A Lady with a Pink.

Wife:  A lady with a pink what? . . .  Hans, didn’t you hear me? . . .  I said a lady with a pink what?   Ha ha very funny, Hans!  You can stop pretending like you’re dead again. . . Hans?

A Lady with a Pink doesn’t really look all that hard to draw in my opinion.

A Lady with a Pink . . . .Linda vernon humor
See it’s cinchy.

Okay, I’m admitting flat-out that my version isn’t as good as Hans’s  but at least she’s wearing something pink. (I updated her hair color a little too.)  And I gotta say, IMHO I nailed that spit curl better than Hans Memling did.  God rest his 15th century soul.

Okay, that’s enough about the cover.  Now let’s crack open the book, Dear Readers!  Oh boy . . . there are so many weird pictures inside . . . let’s just stick some captions on them:

funny man who cuts topiaries, Linda Vernon Humor

man walking dogs, Linda Vernon Humor

Man dressed as knight who needs to go to the bathroom. Linda Vernon Humor

Man with helmut standing next to a robot. Linda Vernon Humor

Of course there are lots more weird pictures in our old book, but remember, we don’t want to work too hard today, what with it being Screw It Monday!  So let’s just call it a day and go do something even more unproductive than this, if possible.

Until next time . . . I love you