Screw It Monday

Hello Dear Readers!  Now I know it’s Monday, and we Go-Get-‘er Americans are always supposed to be productive as all get out on Mondays or at least look like we are, but today Dear Readers, I say screw it! (Yes, I’m even pulling out the word “screw”  –sometimes I get in a mood and there’s no holding me back!)

What’s say we recklessly thumb through an old book instead, shall we?

Here’s a book I found  at the thrift store. (Quelle surprise !)  It’s entitled Horizon.  But it’s really more like a magazine. It’s a collection of random topics and pictures.  Here’s the cover:

Horizon, American Heritage Publishing Company Linda Vernon Humor
The book says this portrait is called A Lady with a Pink.  It is the work of Hans Memling from the 15th century,  which means it was either painted in the 1400’s or the 1600’s. I can never get that straight, but then again, that’s the least of my problems. Let’s just take a wild guess and say it was painted in 1473 and be done with it.  There now, wasn’t that easy?

Okay, now let’s imagine a dialogue between Hans Memling and his wife right after he showed her  A Lady with a Pink:

Wife:  Honey It’s adorable! Ah!  I just love that little spit curl at the top of her forehead.

Hans:  Thank you.

Wife: But, honey, may I make a suggestion?  Don’t you think her head’s a skosh too big? I mean doesn’t she look like she’s got a five-head going on?

Hans:  What? No! Her head really looks like that.

Wife:  Okay,  but I think you might want to erase some of her head.  But leave in the spit curl.  That spit curl just makes it pop. What are you calling it?

Hans:  A Lady with a Pink.

Wife:  A lady with a pink what? . . .  Hans, didn’t you hear me? . . .  I said a lady with a pink what?   Ha ha very funny, Hans!  You can stop pretending like you’re dead again. . . Hans?

A Lady with a Pink doesn’t really look all that hard to draw in my opinion.

A Lady with a Pink . . . .Linda vernon humor
See it’s cinchy.

Okay, I’m admitting flat-out that my version isn’t as good as Hans’s  but at least she’s wearing something pink. (I updated her hair color a little too.)  And I gotta say, IMHO I nailed that spit curl better than Hans Memling did.  God rest his 15th century soul.

Okay, that’s enough about the cover.  Now let’s crack open the book, Dear Readers!  Oh boy . . . there are so many weird pictures inside . . . let’s just stick some captions on them:

funny man who cuts topiaries, Linda Vernon Humor

man walking dogs, Linda Vernon Humor

Man dressed as knight who needs to go to the bathroom. Linda Vernon Humor

Man with helmut standing next to a robot. Linda Vernon Humor

Of course there are lots more weird pictures in our old book, but remember, we don’t want to work too hard today, what with it being Screw It Monday!  So let’s just call it a day and go do something even more unproductive than this, if possible.

Until next time . . . I love you

23 thoughts on “Screw It Monday

  1. That first guy is probably the reason that saying was invented that goes: “Good fences make good neighbors.” Or whatever it was they said. That picture ought to be next to the word “creepy” in the dictionary.

    • Yes, I would definitely say that the first guy was the inspiration for “Good neighbors make good fences” Or whatever tit was they said. He is definitely a creepy guy. But he loves making a cute animal topiary! HA! We used to live next door to a guy who was a horrible person in every way, Mean to little children, horrible neighbor, etc but at Christmas he would deck out his entire yard with Santa’ and elves and little trains carrying Christmas presents . . . totally creepy.

  2. I did an impromptu survey around the office, and apparently screwing off on a monday is a very american thing to do.
    Regardless of what the bosses say.

    Unless you’re working on something important.
    Like styling spit curls…

    • Thank you El Guapo for taking that survey for me. I was going to do it myself but then I got into vapor lock with the spit curl thing . . . and next thing you know I’m working on a Screw It Monday. I guess it’s true what they say, Life is a paradox. (I think they say that anyway . . . it sounds like something somebody would say . . .

  3. Mondays are for horseplay, I believe that is one of the Amendments in the Constitution or Magna Carta or something. I like your pic much better, at least your pic looks like she has eaten this century, the other one needs a cheeseburger, stat.

    • That’s what that girl’s problem is. I just couldn’t put my finger on it Papzilla! She does need a cheeseburger. How sad to be born in a time before Cheeseburgers. If I ever write an historical novel I’m going to call it A Time Before Cheeseburgers.

      And I think the Monday are for Horseplay is in the Mayflower Compact. (The only term I remember from 4th grade!) 😀

  4. Oh, shit, it’s Monday… I’ve gotta go… sorry, I was going to comment, but if it’s really Monday, I’m late for an appointment in Kazhekistan….

    Never mind, it got canceled…. okay, where were we? Oh, yeah, 15th century Flemish artists (I assume he’s Flemish, because his name is Memling)…. any who, if all of those pix were in that one magazine, it is a treasure! Great captions, too, but the last one is brilliant, given the look on his face, and the seductive nature of the robot arm…. He’s definitely a naughty little scientist…. 🙂

    Oh, and I’m pretty sure that, in Flemland, where the Flemish artists paint, a spit curl was called a ‘pink’, back in the 1400’s…. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it….

    • Ned you are absolutely right that Memling is from Flem-land! And I think you’re probably also right about spit curls being referred to as Pinks back in the days of your (Flemish artists)!

      And that Scientist picture really does tell a thousand words, Well actually I’d say more than 1,000 up to 10,000.

      I’m so glad your appointment in Kazhekistan got cancelled and you got to browse through some old books instead! 😀

  5. The best part of maybe moving to Vancouver is I noticed a real life thrift store in the neighbourhood I am looking at living in (I’ve been strolling the streets on google streetview)

    I have high hopes for the store. It’d better live up to expectations

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