Gregory’s Vacation Bible School: Jesus and the Pool at Bethesda

Welcome Dear Readers to this Sunday’s Edition of the Gregory’s Bible Stories! This week Gregory is still away a Vacation Bible School  learning about biblical swimming pools. 

Jesus and the Pool of Bethesda

It was time for the Annual Jews and Sabbath Potluck dinner and Jesus (who always got invited to everything) decided to attend.  Nobody knows what dish Jesus typically brought to these things, but chances are he just whipped up something Johnny on the spot.

Anyway, in order to get to the potluck, Jesus had to pass by the Jerusalem Sheep Gate behind which the sheep who were going to be sacrificed lived.

In biblical days people were cruel to sheep and kept them for the express purpose of killing and sacrificing them.  Unlike today, where people only keep sheep for the express purpose of killing and eating them.

While Jesus was walking past the Jerusalem Sheep Gate, he happened to look over and right next to the sheep gate was the Bethesda Memorial Healing Pool.  The pool had five porches upon which lay a lot of unhealthy people waiting to take a dip.

Some of the people were blind, some of the people were paralyzed and some of the people had a really bad case of eczema (sometimes called Leprosy).

This might be a good time to explain that the Bethesda Memorial Pool could cure disease if (and that’s a big if) you were lucky enough to be the first person to jump in the water after a heavenly angel would pop down and stir it with a Heavenly Egg Beater.

After that, the first person to jump in would get healed and everybody else was up the Bethesda Pool without a paddle until the angel with the Heavenly Egg Beater made another visit.

One man had been waiting in line to jump in the water for 38 years.  (It’s not as bad as it sounds because he was waiting in line while lying on his bed.)  Jesus saw him he asked, “Do you want to get well?”

The man answered something to the  effect that yes he did but he was too paralyzed to be the first one in the pool after the Heavenly Egg Beating.

So Jesus just cut to the chase and said to the man, “Get up, pick up your bed and walk.”

Jesus curing my by Bathesda Pool
“Get up, pick up your bed and walk.”
“Uh . . . are you sure, that’s not going to wreck my back? I’ve been laying down for 38 years.”

Now Jesus was telling the man to pick up his bed and walk, and this was a task that was considered work which was completely against the law on the Sabbath.

And sure enough, first thing Monday morning, the cured man was in deep trouble with the authorities for aimlessly wandering around carrying his bed on the Sabbath. (After 38 years laying by the pool, he couldn’t remember where he lived).

Authorities:  Who told you to carry your bed around on the Sabbath? You’re supposed to be resting.

Cured Man:  Sorry, I don’t remember his name . . . I’m terrible with names. I never forget a face though! 

Later that day while the cured man was praying in the temple (probably for directions back home), Jesus recognized him and said:

“Listen, you are well now, so stop sinning or something worse may happen to you.”

Jesus must have been wearing his monogrammed robe because the cured man ran right to the authorities and told them the guy who cured him was named Jesus.

So the authorities hightailed it over to Jesus and demanded that Jesus explain to them why He had worked a healing on the Sabbath.

Jesus answered by saying, “My father is always working and I too must work.”

This really made the authorities mad.  Aside from thinking that Jesus and His Dad were Sabbath workaholics; they were also completely put off by the fact that Jesus said his Dad was God.

Naturally this made the authorities want to persecute and  kill Jesus even more than they already did.

And the cured man who was wandering around carrying his bed on the Sabbath?   Rumor has it he put his back out from hauling his bed around everywhere and ended up right back at the Bethesda Pool.

Robert Bateman (1836 - 1889) (Artist,
“Hey wait a minute . . . did I grab the wrong egg beater again?”

And there you have it, Dear Readers, I hope you’ll come back next week for another installment of Gregory’s Bible Stories

Until next time . . . I love you

13 thoughts on “Gregory’s Vacation Bible School: Jesus and the Pool at Bethesda

  1. Jesus’s dad was such a workaholic! It’s no wonder J always turned water into wine. Something had to be done to take the edge of a 168 hour work week.

  2. This is very negligible of Jesus to just order someone carry their bed around without first conducting a proper risk assessment. My understanding of Biblical Health and Safety laws are that they need to assess the weight of the bed and judge if this was proportional to the loads that one man can safely carry, And there is no mention of any reflective robes and hard hats. I hope Jesus is Lawyered up.

    • LOL! There’s nothing I like better than a nice, litigious comment! (I’m not sure what litigious means but boy it sure does sound smart.)

      The fact that you’re up the Bible Health and Safety Laws does me wonder what it is, exactly, that you do for a living Joe?

      • I am an office manager but responsible for our health and safety too, so I picked up a few things from the course (inbetween nodding off).

        I can see examples of bad office management throughout the bible. How did the innkeeper have no rooms when Mary and Joseph had booked months before through Airb’n’b. No wonder they gave the inn 2 out of 5 stars through Trip Advisor.

        • LoL! What I want to know is why did Mary and Joseph decide to go on a vacation when Mary was nine months pregnant? Having a baby is really going to take up a couple of precious sun-soaking days! Then they’d have get a baby sitter in a town where they knew no one. (Sure the three wisemen might have been wise, but that doesn’t mean they were any good with newborns)

          I’m thinking of a sitcom starring you Joe. Kind of like The Office only set in biblical times. I think it’s got real potential!

          • Wouldn”t that be a great show 🙂

            Those wise men were useless and they bought presents not on the gift list. Mary specifically asked for a diaper genie.

            It was bad planning on their part, but they had booked up months before and they didn’t have any cancellation insurance. Let that be a lesson to us all.

  3. Jesus did get invitied to a lot of potlucks, primarily because he was famous for his wine making skills. I was going to take our pillow-top mattress to lounge around on by the pool one day, but Connie wouldn’t let me (and it wasn’t even Sunday). She said it would take forever to dry if someone splashed me. Go figure.

    • LOL! You on a pillow top mattress lying by the pool. Well there your go. The cover for your next hilarious book! And you know what they always say: Behind ever man is a woman who has great pillow-top mattress sense!

  4. Hi Linda! My name is Heather and I just have a quick question about your blog! If you could email me at Lifesabanquet1(at)gmail(dot)com that would be great!

  5. Linda, this is the humorous side of the Bible that no one ever talks about. You are funny and I don’t consider this sacrilegious either. – you are funny. Nan 🙂

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