My dog Chauncey (Cha for short) is a good dog. Oh she’s no Lassie, but everywhere I go she goes. Everywhere I sit she sits. Everything I eat she eats.
Sometimes when I’m eating steak, she’ll sit on the back of the couch and rest her head on my shoulder pretending she’s one of my heads — hoping I’ll forget which mouth to put the food into. She actually thinks I won’t notice. Silly dog! It never works . . . OK, it hardly ever works.
My dog, Cha, isn’t Lassie, but she is nine pounds of fur, eat and bark. She’s crabby to just about everyone. Especially sweet little children who try to pet her. She’s been known to bark a pit bull into submission — as far as she thinks anyway. And she can eat virtually anything in three bites or less.
A psychic would quickly realize that Cha has an odor where her aura ought to be. It boggles the mind to think about how many calories it must take for her to generate that kind of a cloud.
You can shampoo Cha till the cows come home (they never do by the way) and when she’s all washed and all dried and all puffy like a tuft of fluff — well, that’s the best time to put your nose close in — but you have to be careful– the first three-quarters of the whiff is going to be fine and dandy –but the last one-quarter of the whiff is going to be pure PU.
"No."
"Well when are we gonna get there?"
"Never."
Now, even though Cha has never done anything Lassie-ish — like calling attention to a house being on fire or calling attention to a blind person being on fire — she did once keep barking until I filled her food bowl.
And did I mention that when I walk she walks, when I sit she sits, when I stay she stays? I did? Well, did I also mention my dog, Cha, could double as a toupee?
And that alone makes her better than Lassie . . . in my humble opinion.
Until next time . . . I love you
Linda Vernon Humor 
I love also the animals. I have two cats – Sisi and Lary.
Your friend Nick
Ha! I love their names! Thanks for stopping by Nick! 🙂
Gotta love ’em!
Ain’t it the truth! 🙂
Oh Cha. She’s your little smelly sidekick. The strange thing about her is she smells slightly sweaty. I think she might be a small hairy lady trapped in a terrier/chihuahua body. I love her anyway!
Ha ha! Me too, but when you put it that way it makes it a little harder! 🙂
A heart-clutching, gut-wrenching roller coaster ride of chills, thrills, and pure unadulterated sex! Studs McGerkle and Beyonday light up the screen with fire so hot it will have you out searching for Greaseline and/or condoms at intermission! Three thumbs in, circling fast! Oh….. wait…. oops, shit!….
Sorry, Linda, wrong site review. That was for this Christian youth group site that I was reviewing for…. well, that’s a long, confusing story….. That’s what happens when I try to multitask too many things at once…
Okay, back to Chauncey and her aura… cool post! It’s obvious to anyone with an unblocked chakra that you and Chauncey were twins in another life…. I’m sure her toupee-like nature has saved you many an hour of time figuring out which hair-piece to wear on date night; since she goes along anyway, you may as well just wear her. Am I right? Oh, and the head on the shoulder bit? I say she is just channeling Cerberus, the three-headed dog, but, as we all know, dogs have trouble counting that high, unless it’s Milk Bones, the number of which she knows by smell….
Give her a luv hug from me; that way she won’t bite me…. take care, girl….
Ha! I can tell you’re in high spirits today Ned! When I was first reading your comment I thought, well this guy really knows how to read between the lines! Or he’s had a stroke —> : / Either way, it certainly got my attention. Have a great day! 🙂
High? Spirits? Who dropped the dime on me? Honest, officer, they just look like funny cigarettes; my dog brought them in…. Actually, your post was so funny, it kicked me in the funny bone, and I was screaming for help…. But, that is obviously all done now, so I will shush and fade into the background once more….. I did love the post, in all seriousness. At least in all I’m currently capable of…..
Haha! You’re dog brings stuff like that in eh? Dare I ask who trained him? HA!
Not me… I use a pipe….HA! Tag, your turn… unless you think we might go on to something more useful today….
Useful Me? Oxymoron.
Hi,
A beautiful little dog, she is so cute, and when all is said and done, we would be lost without our beloved pets. 😀
You are so right. Life would be so colorless without all their silly little antics! 🙂
What makes her toupee possibility so endearing is the natural way her fur flood around on top. But would the toupee wearer get a whiff of her?
Perhaps you could find a better use for her talents…
Ronnie
Haha! Good point Ronnie. The wearer of said toupee could possible die of asphyxiation! I guess I’l have to put my thinking cap on again. . . hey wait . . .thinking caps . . .no same problem . . .
Awww, I love little Chauncey! Have you noticed that sometimes the smallest dogs are the smelliest? Maybe the smell gets concentrated? Haha! I’m guessing Sedentariat doesn’t have that problem?
I LOL’d at, “She did keep barking once until I filled her food bowl.” Ha!
You know what Lisa I think you’re right. I know my daughter has a mini dachshund and she has the worst breath imaginable (Oh the dachshund not my daughter!). Even worse than Chauncey! And when they get together we have to keep the windows open! Thankfull Sedentariat smells good so that makes up for it! 🙂
This post reminded me of my younger days. When I was a little stinker… : P
Hahahaha! Every single time you comment, Mark, you make me laugh! 😀
Awww, I already love Cha. 🙂
Aw! Her cuteness does outweigh her crabbiness! 🙂
she’s so CUTE! she actually looks a little smelly – you know sometimes you can just tell…. I think her and George might be related – George thinks he is a dog and does all those things too…except the steak part…he will come right up to my plate and instead of taking the small bites I cut for his kittenish little mouth….little sh*t tries to take off with a piece of meat that weighs more than he does…. and he has too much grey for a toupee…I just colored my hair… we should get them together… 🙂
You’re right she actually does look a little smelly! LOL! George sounds like a real character. Trying to run off with a steak bigger than he is. Typical of these pets of ours. They know in their heart of hearts that they are the ones running the show. I heard not too long ago — a dog has an owner a cat has staff! 😀
If Cha is so effective at being your other head – and also walking when you walk, eating when you eat, etc -how do we know he didn’t write this post?
Or take over your blog?
I don’t woof know woof what you are woofing about. You’ll have to excuse me now, I smell food.