If behavioral scientists haven’t concluded that one’s personal success in life is directly linked to one’s ability to fake laugh, they should.

Recognizing  Fake Laughter a Mile Away

As a result, I have come to know simulated laughter as well as I have come to know the back of my hand or the bottom of my foot (thought not quite as much).

For your fake laughing convenience, I have compiled a list of the different types of fake laughs that you might want to consider incorporating into your public persona.

The Waiting to Exhale

This is one of the more popular fake laughs as it is easily performed without having to come to a full smile. The laugher simply inhales a huge breath and slowly releases it while making the sound of an excited chimpanzee. Volume is used as a sliding scale of appreciation, but volume is a matter of feel and cannot really be taught. You’ll just have to play around with it on people who aren’t very funny until you get the hang of it.

The Sound of Silence

The Combination 

This should be reserved for people who you would dearly love to please, such as your neighborhood used car salesman or the Pope. Once you are told why the chicken crossed the road, you should be ready with a Machine-Gun-Kelly-Ann-  followed by a Sound- of- Silence Chuckler and winding up with a “That’s Hilarious” thrown in at the end. If that doesn’t get you into the Pearly Gates, well . . . how would you feel about 10 percent below Blue Book?