Your 1977 Guide to Over-Handling Food

Hello Dear Readers!  I thought it might be fun to take a look at the way food was prepared back in 1977, a year where absolutely nothing happened and there wasn’t anything to do but play around with  food.

Join me now, won’t you?  As we infiltrate the space/time continuum by whizzing back to 1977 via the pages of McCall’s Cook School!

It's not just a magazine it's a school!
It’s not just a magazine it’s a school for cooking!

First up is this delightful Golden Seafood Platter:

Great pains have been taken to arrange this seafood platter in a delectable manner.
Could it be arranged in a more delectable manner?

To the untrained eye, this seafood platter might appear unimaginative, but to McCall’s cooking school graduates this is a study of  perpendicular proportions!

For you see, each piece of fish has been magnetically lined up with true north using a cooking compass/thermometer.  And each shrimp has been carefully hand-placed to align with Orion’s Belt after Orion had to let it out a couple notches due to eating too much seafood.

Then there’s this well-groomed platter of chicken and potatoes!

Counter clockwise never looked to delicious!
Counter clockwise never looked so delicious!

To get this random look just right, McCall’s Cooking School dictates that one must first arrange the chicken in a counter-clockwise direction and then walk across the room and toss the potatoes onto the plate one at a time which is the secret to giving any dish that coveted un-fussed with appeal that McCall’s Cooking School is trying their darnedest to get the hang of.

Blanquette De Veau and You!

Think in terms of French Navy when arranging this dish.
Think in terms of French Navy when arranging this dish.

Leave it to McCall’s Cooking School to find an educational way to bring together the French Navy, The Middle Ages and veal!  As you can see, the miniature carrots have been arranged in the exact formation as the cannons on French war ships during the battle of   . . . everybody say it together — The Siege of La Rochelle!

As you can also see, the mushrooms have been mathematically placed exactly where they would have landed had they actually been shot out of the carrot cannons –which could account for why the French lost the battle of –everybody say it together — The Siege of La Rochelle!

McCall’s Cooking School Says this is the Standard Dish That Belongs in Every Good Cook’s Repertoire

Chicken Leg Parsley Exultation
Chicken Leg Parsley Exultation

If there’s one thing McCall’s Cooking School is big on it’s that it doesn’t really matter how food actually tastes as much as it does how well food stays together without getting out the glue gun.

In that vein,  they present to us their PhD of food arrangement:   Chicken Leg Parsley Exultation de Biscuit. Because in the year 1977,  if a dish wasn’t a shrine to something; it really wasn’t anything at all.

And there you have it Dear Reader!  Thank you for agreeing to  infiltrate the space/time continuum by whizzing back to 1977 via the pages of McCall’s Cook School!  It probably wouldn’t hurt to go comb your hair a little bit.

Until next time. . . I love you

31 thoughts on “Your 1977 Guide to Over-Handling Food

  1. Apparently in 1977 it wasn’t about how edible the food was but how intricately it was arranged. Nothing says sexy 70’s like a plate full of fried counter clockwise chicken legs!

  2. OMG!! Haha! the fish are lined up magnetically due North and the shrimp are carefully lined up to align with Orion’s belt!! And Orion had to let out a couple notches! LOL!! You did it again, Linda. You crack me up!

  3. Haha, brilliant! I like how the crockery used was also of such importance, the glass scallop shell dish for the prawns, I can imagine the looks your guests would give you if you used it to serve something non seafood based on it.

    • Ha! Everybody was definitely into following rules in the 70’s. One rule was that everything had to be ugly but it had to match with all the other ugly things or it just got ugly! 😀

  4. I don’t know, Linda, none of those dishes look particularly good to me. As a matter of fact they look kinda dog-foodish. Gimme a crock pot recipe book…no fuss, no mess and it’s all done when you get home. My kind of cooking!

    • Hahaha! I love what you said. “When I was in the year 1977!” I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone put it quite that way. Yes, you were quite lucky to have missed the chapter on food architecture of the 70s. I think they wanted the food to be as hideous as the hairstyles! HA!

  5. MMMMMM…. what is that delicious odeur… I believe it’s coming from all those wonderful foods that have been on display since 1977… do you think we could eat something (I prefer the mushrooms, dropped as they are, all willy nilly)…
    thanks for the excursion, Linda!!!


    • Haha! I believe you’re right Buddhakat! I think the only thing I would eat is the mushrooms too! Aren’t they a form of mold just naturally? HA! Thanks for stopping by! 😀

  6. I recognized the Chicken Platter Potato Toss right away! It was one of the games they used to have at the Firemen’s Carnival back in the 70s.

    You tossed little round potatoes onto a chicken platter from a distance of 15 feet. 10 potatoes for $1. If 3 or more stayed on, you won a teddy bear. I never won, but I did hit Olga Jane Cuppecaken in the back of the head with one of the potatoes one time… : P

    • LOL!! And Olga Jane Cuppencaken has never been the same since, I might add. But don’t blame yourself. Oh sure, it might have been the potato throw by Mark “The Arm” MacGiggles, but more than likely poor Olga has never been the same because of her fall from the top of the ladder when she was playing pin the tail on the inferno (tails $2). She did manage to win the Teddy Bear for that one but sadly it spontaneously combusted before she got it home. Sigh . . . Those Firemen’s Carnivals are a real circus! 😀

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