Hello Dear Readers! Once again it’s time to stumble down memory lane via the pages of this vintage cookbook which was written during the height of the cold war. (Not to be confused with the height of the cold cut.)
Below is a dish that is innocently called Cucumber Tongue Pie; but if you were a cold war spy, and you were served this dish, you’d know right away the server was actually saying:
Ve Have Vays of Making You Talk Casserole!
I know it seems cruel and inhumane from today’s standpoint, but during the cold war, both sides actually practiced this horrendous casserole form of torture. Spies had to spill the beans or eat the entire stomach-turning entree. Did this form of torture work? Well, let’s just say not a single bean went unspilled.
Next we have a dish you’re sure to get a bang out of. It’s called jeweled chicken to us laymen. But any spy worth his weight in invisible ink during the cold war would have known immediately upon being served this dish that his days were numbered (maybe even his minutes) because in the spy world, this dish was really called:
Which Spy Will Die Russian Roulette Fry
No other dish could make the cold war spy’s blood run cold faster than a platter of “Which Spy Will Die Russian Roulette Fry.” This entree would be placed in the middle of the banquet table and then given a good spin by either John F. Kennedy or Nikita Khrushchev and whomever had a chicken leg pointing at them when it stopped spinning would be eliminated poi-manently!
And, finally, Dear Readers, the following dish was the dish to end all dishes, and had world leaders shaking in their cold war boots — praying that it would never be served. Civilians such as you and I would have known this dish simply by it’s innocent name, Chicken-in-Omelet Pinwheel. But to the cold war powers that be it could mean only one thing:
The Mushroom Cloud Duck and Cover Roll
We can only breath a sigh of relief, Dear Readers, that such a dish was never served to the Cold War Players. Not only would it have meant the end of the world as they knew it, it would have also meant that somebody might have had to actually take a bite out of it.
And there you have it, Dear Readers, a little stumble back in time via vintage cookbooks of yore.
Until next time . . . I love you