Flipping Through The Slightly-Creepy Seventies


Welcome Dear Readers!  Today, if you’re not feeling a little nauseous already, I thought it might be fun to flip through this House Beautiful Magazine from everyone’s favorite icky decade:  The Slightly Creepy Seventies!

House Beautiful 1975
Isn’t this bedroom eye-crossingly wonderful? But it needs something more, don’t you think?  To really give it that Slightly Creepy Seventies flair? Like a focal point of some kind . . . 

But what kind of a focal point?  Hm. . . .

img228
Okay! That’s what the Slightly Creepy Seventies is talking about! Because there’s nothing like the addition of a weird, eerie male bedspread model to give any 70’s decor that much needed splash of slightly creepy!

Now let’s turn to the next page shall we?  Ready?  (I’ll wait if you want to pop a Pepto Bismal.)

Overly Cheerful Family Room slightly creepy seventies
Whoa! Obviously, the Slightly Creepy Seventies had the highest tolerance for decorative cheerfulness than all the other decades put together.

Now, this room is a good example of what happened back in the 70’s when your Slightly-Creepy Seventies Interior Decorator scarfed down a big bowl of yellow chrysanthemums and washed it down with a great big pitcher of ice-cold LSD for breakfast and then rushed over and redecorated your family room while in the throws of a cheerfulness overdose.

Actually, Cheerfulness Overdose was a common problem in the Slightly Creepy Seventies.  In fact, more interior decorators were buried with huge grins on their faces in the Slightly Creepy Seventies than any other decade in history!

So I guess you could say there’s an upside to everything.

Hey!  Look what awaits us on the next page . . . 

img232
  Yes, you’re seeing that correctly.  It’s a rocking chair on the beach. And why not?  After all, life in the Slightly Creepy Seventies was stranger than it’s ever been before or since.

And speaking of rocking chairs on the beach, I think I vaguely remember a Brady Bunch Episode involving a rocking chair/beach incident: I’ll try to retell it as best I can from memory:

Mike Brady: MarshaMarshaMarsha!  Peter! Greg! Cindy! and Whatever the rest of your names are!  We’ve driven 87 hours and we are finally at the beach!

MarshaMarshMarsha:  But Dad, we live somewhere in LA.  Why did it take us 87 hours to get here?  The Pacific Ocean is just down the street.

Mike Brady:  What? 

Carol Brady:  Oh Mike, you did it again. Hahahahahaha!  You turned left when you should have turned right!  Hahahahaha! We’re not at the Pacific Ocean, children, we’re at the Atlantic Ocean! Hahahahahaha!

Mike Brady:  Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Alice:  Hahahahahaha!  I’ll lug the rocking chair down to the beach while you Bradys wait in the car and laugh.

Carol Brady:  Hahahhahaha—

Alice:  Wait a minute!  Hold the landphone! The rocking chair’s not here!  Somebody forgot it!  I’m not one to point fingers but I think it was MarshaMarshaMarsha.

Mike Brady:  Well, kids, it looks like we’re turning around and driving 87 hours home to get it.  Hahahhahaha.

Carol Brady:  But wait Mike, you left MarshaMarshaMarsha at the Atlantic Ocean.

Mike Brady:  Hahahahhahahaha!

Carol Brady:  Hahahahahahaha!

Say now, this next item looks interesting. 

img235

Her name was Betty Knowles and she lost 4 pounds and 6 inches off her waist in only eight days back in the Slightly Creepy Seventies using this lever and pulley exercise contraption. Unfortunately, once  Betty got it all set up and herself situated inside of it, she could never figure out how to get out.   Eight days later Betty was not only  much, much slimmer, but also, she wasn’t wasting valuable time breathing or having a pulse anymore. Unfortunately she wasn’t found until last week about a quarter to five.

Sure, it was a sad Slightly Creepy Seventies demise for poor Betty Knowles, but the good news is she has been chosen as the main attraction at the Smithsonian Institute’s much anticipated upcoming exhibit:  Mummified Peoples of the Slightly Creepy Seventies.

Proving once again there’s an upside to everything!

Well, Dear Readers, that’s it for today.  If you need me I’ll be down at the Pacific Ocean.  I’ll be the one sitting in the rocking chair eating a big bowl of yellow chrysanthemums.

Until next time . . . I love you

10 thoughts on “Flipping Through The Slightly-Creepy Seventies

  1. O have to admit your examples are bizarre. I had some perfectly “normal” clothes such as an orange mini-skirt, a purple pair of corduroy pants and a blouse with comic strip designs, almost like a Peter Max poster 🙂 🙂

  2. HAHAHAHAHAHA (I’m actually laughing so hard I’ve turned into one of the Brady Bunch). Oh those slightly creepy seventies are getting slightly creepier with each post! There is something about that black and white photo of the empty rocking chair in the ocean that just feels very, “Rosemary’s Baby” minus the baby and the Rosemary. Now! I’m off to redecorate my bedroom. I’m thinking of a large, blonde man laying in bed holding a crysanthemum would do it.

    • Hahahaha! Rosemary’s baby minus the Rosemary and the baby. I love that phrase. It fits nicely into any conversation. You could say that about absolutely anything. A one size fits all phrase. I can’t wait to start using it. I’ll somehow slip it into the every conversation I have today and see what happens!

  3. The Brady exchange is hilarious! Just how I remember them.
    Hey wait, I can’t see any guy in the bed picture, the patterns make it seem like a magic eye picture, I’ll try squinting but I’ve never been any good at those illusions.

    • I think you just stumbled onto a stellar idea Joe! You could do a whole Magic Eye Bedspread book. You can’t tell who (or what) is waiting for you in bed until you squint just right and activate your magic eye. I was just getting the hang of how to see those magic eye pictures I believe on the last day before they took all the books off the shelves, declared them passe and threw them in the trash . . . sigh.

  4. That eerie male bedspread model looks like he’s waiting for his life partner Tristan, to join him at any moment.
    Whatever those designers were ingesting, I want some!

  5. That Tristan really got around back in the 70’s. I think he was also the chef who prepared Mama Cass’s ham sandwich if I’m not mistaken. And I’ll be she washed it down with a big ice cold pitcher of LSD. Oh, Lily, if only she would have had one of your crack/raisin cookies for dessert. Talk about a perfect Slightly Creepy Seventies last meal!!

  6. Those interior photos. Are they not from the Hotel California? Is that man not a prisoner there, of his own device? Trip Advisor gave mixed reviews for the Master Bedroom. Apparently, it was often “excessively noisy due to the poor beast-killing skills of the kitchen staff.”

Please leave a comment. I need help finishing my sentences.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s