You have a tendency to eat breakfast four times.
The only equipment you keep in your home gym are a treadmill and a chocolate pie.
Your dog leads a scrap-less life.
You’ve traded in all your P’s and Q’s for M and M’s.
“Listen, bub, nobody ever said life was fair.”
Your idea of the great outdoors is standing under the air conditioning vent at Mrs. Fields.
Your bathroom scales have filed assault and battery charges against you.
You only have 34 payments left on your last McDonald’s drive-thru.
“No I’m just here to make a payment.”
Whenever you get tough and declare you’re going to lick something, it always turns out to be a Tootsie Roll Pop.
You brake for cake!
“She was braking for cake.”
And the number one reason why you might be feeling fat:
You are fat.
Until next time . . . I love you
Linda Vernon Humor 
Hahaha! I love the last picture? How’d it happen? She was braking for cake. I can’t wait to see you this weekend where I’m sure we will break for cake countless times.
I know! Only two days left! YAY Oh and bring your swimming suit too! And that cake picture made me laugh so I knew you’d like it too! 😀
I think I’m only chubby because I have breakfast only twice a day. It’s good to know I have something to work towards!
Erin, I admire you commitment to excellence! 😀
When were you in my home “gym”?
Mortgage crisis? Nope. The economic downfall was caused by McDonalds offering those extreme lines of credit to so many who had zero chance of paying them off.
I snuck in last Thursday and stole your pie! Sorry just had to get that off my chest! And yes, Rich, I couldn’t agree with you more on the McDonald’s scandal. I think Ronald McDonald should be in prison right now if there were any justice, in fact, maybe I’d even like to see him fry! 😀
And here, I thought those reasons would be 10.) Pie 9.) More pie 8.) Pie at midnight…you get the picture, LOL! 😉
Ha! Why can’t pie be the secret to longevity? Sometimes the physical laws of the universe are so unfair! 😀
Your number one reason for feeling fat certainly caught my eye. Your answer is hilarious, although it doesn’t make me feel to good. ‘Got to run; got to make time for the exercise bike.
haha Ronnie! Don’t forget to take some chocolate pie with you! I always find it makes my exercise routine much more pleasureable! LOL! 😀
darn it… I was afraid you were gonna say that… ll of it.. I thought it was a good idea to trade P & Qs for M&M’s… no? phooey
Ha! I would gladly give up my all rights to p and q for the rest of my life for some m and m’s today! 😀
me too 🙂 and M&M’s make friends too..that care for one another…. true story !
So true Lizzie! 😀
I usually wind up paying for those big macs sooner, than later.
Sorry TMI 😉
Good for you Braintomahawk. I always took you for a proactive kind of guy! 😀
You are fat. That’s definitely a give away! Haha I like your weight related post! I’m glad we were on the same wavelength. You know what they say about great minds! I really want M&M’s now….
Me too Lily! I want to sleep on a bed of M & M’s. I bet you do too! Uh huh . . . I knew it! 😀
Tee Hee! These are all sadly a little close to the truth. I know it’s a good day if I haven’t eaten my lunch for breakfast! haha! I’ll not only brake for cake, I’ll brake for pizza, donuts, and french fries, too! Lol!
And like Lily, I now have to go find some M&M’s… Thanks a lot, Linda!
Haha Lisa. I think we need to have a slumber party — we’ll watch Remains of the Day and eat M & M’s all night. Oh and here’s a little tip for making M & M’s even yummier. Put them in the microwave just long enough to get the centers melted . . .mmmmm . . . .that’s what I’m having tomorrow for lunch-breakfast! 😀
I only keep the weight on to help as ballast on the sailboat. Yeh. That’s it. Extra ballast. It’s not fat. It’s a tool. Yes a tool.
Yes! What a great idea to be a tool, John! Why didn’t I think of that? Now I’m going to be up all night thinking about what kind of tool I can be. Let’s see. . . you’ve already got extra ballast covered — maybe I could be the anchor? Yeah that’s it. (If you need me I’ll bet scarfing down M & M’s for my new job) 😀
Being an anchor is only for people that want a very short career.
You’re right. Make that an anchor made out of ivory soap!
lol.
I used to have a habit of watching The Biggest Loser while eating ice cream. This may qualify for your list.
Ha! And therein was the genius of The Biggest Loser because it described those on the show as well as those watching the show! 😀
I have weighed 120 nearly all my life and theother day I weighed and it showed 130, I felt bigger, but not fat ‘yet’… my pants are tighter, but my wife says I look good in them tight fittin; jeans, my worry is I might reach …135???
Ha! It’s so annoying the way weight creeps up like that. Although it doesn’t sound like you have to worry too much Art! LOL Especially since you wife thinks you look better than before — it’s all good! 😀
Hmm, my man sometimes has two or three breakfasts. He can’t eat brunch and then no lunch… at least I’m not in denial! 😉
I rarely eat breakfast but unfortunately I make up for it throughout the rest of the day . . . sigh . . .:D
Naughty! That’s supposed to be the best meal for you! 🙂
Oops, you forgot one:
You make Al Gore look svelte when you walk up to him and ask him to autograph your copy of the internet.
Great stuff! Next time I order dessert, I’m askin’ for a big piece of chocolate gym equipment à la mode!! : P
LOL! Ok, that’s enough to make me want to find out where Al Gore will be appearing next so I can walk up to him and ask him to autograph my copy of the internet! HA! And I do think more people would work out if they made gym equipment were made of chocolate!! 😀
LOL! loved the one with weighing machine 🙂
So glad! 😀