You have a tendency to eat breakfast four times.
The only equipment you keep in your home gym are a treadmill and a chocolate pie.
Your dog leads a scrap-less life.
You’ve traded in all your P’s and Q’s for M and M’s.
“Listen, bub, nobody ever said life was fair.”
Your idea of the great outdoors is standing under the air conditioning vent at Mrs. Fields.
Your bathroom scales have filed assault and battery charges against you.
You only have 34 payments left on your last McDonald’s drive-thru.
“No I’m just here to make a payment.”
Whenever you get tough and declare you’re going to lick something, it always turns out to be a Tootsie Roll Pop.
You brake for cake!
“She was braking for cake.”
And the number one reason why you might be feeling fat:
You are fat.
Until next time . . . I love you
Linda Vernon Humor 