Browsing through the latest Pottery Barn catalog reminds me of the I Love Lucy episode where Fred, Ethel and Lucy are in Hollywood dining at the Brown Derby to spot movie stars:
Announcer: Telephone call for Ava Gardner.
Fred: Where? Where?
Ethel: Fred, remember, she’s just people like you and me.
Fred: She might be people but she’s not like you and me!
Well the same goes for Pottery Barn.
Pottery Barn might be People but they’re not like you and me!
For instance, Pottery Barn tells us this is a “Family Home”. How do we know this? Because it says FAMILY HOME in great big letters. Underneath that it says:
“A home is where a family lives together.” Pottery Barn Catalog, (January 2012) Page: 54
The Pottery Barn Catalog goes on to platitude-ize, “For your family home makes every room a place to catch up and reconnect.”
And in that vein may I present:
The Pottery Barn People Pizza Fantasy:
I would imagine when the Pottery Barn People were creating this space, they were imagining the following family scenario:
Off camera we hear a daughter’s voice answering a cell phone call from her mom:
“Hello? Oh hello, Mummy! What’s that? Oh yes, rest assured Dearest Mother that I have just this very moment removed the fresh-fig pizzas from the open flames of our very own Pizza Oven and tastefully set them upon the two-teared pizza serving platter. What’s that? Yes Mother! Of course it’s the platter that is crafted from sustainable wood with an exclusive Signature Whiskey Finish, I’m not an idiot! What’s that Mummy? Oh yes, I’d say everything is ready, and it’s time to round up Father, Brother and Sister from within the walls of our home where our family lives together! What’s that? Yes, Mother! I know we need to reconnect with one another by gathering round our casual, yet boldly-scaled table made entirely from reclaimed pine for which we paid $1,999 and dig in! I am not an idiot!”
The Real People Pizza Reality:
“Hey Everybody! Pizza’s here! Grab your sodas and turn on Seinfeld!
Until next time . . . I love you