Sample Chapters from Linda’s Big Book of Cannibalism

Welcome Dear Readers!  I’m thinking about writing Linda’s Big Book of Cannibalism. Here are some of the sample chapters I’ve come up with so far:

Chapter 1)

The day the cannibals ate my left foot without so much as a “howdy”


Chapter 2)

The day I would have been eaten by cannibals but luckily they were full


Chapter 3)

“You gonna eat the rest of that elbow?”  he asked.


Chapter 4)

Hello?!?  Next time ask before you eat the last explorer!


Chapter 5)

The day the cannibals ate every other finger on my right hand and still had room for Jello!


Chapter 6)

Cannibal Grammar:  I ate all the flesh today.  I ate all the flush yesterday


Chapter 7)

Cannibal Confessions:  Just between you and me, David Rockefeller needed salt  . . . 


Chapter 8)

Cannibal Weight Loss:  I lost ten pounds on a low-Fred diet!


Chapter 9)

A glass of wine, a loaf of bread and you

Well, that’s all I’ve got for now, but stay tuned for more sample chapters from Linda’s Big Book of Cannibalism.

Until next time I love you (especially with ketchup)

17 thoughts on “Sample Chapters from Linda’s Big Book of Cannibalism

  1. Humor turning a bit darker, eh? Not surprising… funny, too…. “Are you going to eat that elbow?”…. priceless..

    gigoid, the dubious…

    • You’re right, Ned. I can definitely feel my dark side coming out. Or maybe I should say my dark meat side coming out. Are we dark meat or white meat I wonder?

      • Just like a yard bird, milady… dark meat on the bones, back & breast meat white… Or, so I’m told…. maybe you should ask the Cannibal Chef?….


  2. Sample Jacket Cover blurb: “Linda writes with unnerving ease on this subject. She shines a new light on to the after-dinner speaking circuit. This book will change your entire appreciation of gravy.

  3. This big book of Canabalism has me craving something salty for lunch with a side of Ralph. I hope the next version has actual recipes I can follow. 86 the Sally.

  4. Haw!! A Low-Fred diet–!! My stomach is growling with appreciation for such wit!! The writing’s so good on this blog, I’m eaten up with Envy!! Alas! Poor Aunt Envy– she wandered in at a bad time… : )

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