Welcome Dear Readers! I’m thinking about writing Linda’s Big Book of Cannibalism. Here are some of the sample chapters I’ve come up with so far:
The day the cannibals ate my left foot without so much as a “howdy”
The day I would have been eaten by cannibals but luckily they were full
“You gonna eat the rest of that elbow?” he asked.
Hello?!? Next time ask before you eat the last explorer!
The day the cannibals ate every other finger on my right hand and still had room for Jello!
Cannibal Grammar: I ate all the flesh today. I ate all the flush yesterday
Cannibal Confessions: Just between you and me, David Rockefeller needed salt . . .
Cannibal Weight Loss: I lost ten pounds on a low-Fred diet!
A glass of wine, a loaf of bread and you
Well, that’s all I’ve got for now, but stay tuned for more sample chapters from Linda’s Big Book of Cannibalism.
Until next time I love you (especially with ketchup)
17 thoughts on “Sample Chapters from Linda’s Big Book of Cannibalism”
i would like to reserve a copy please. I have searched my whole life for a tome such as this Linda. You are minutes ahead of your time.
Haha! I already reserved it! I’m 2 minutes ahead of you!
The day the cannibals phoned my home delivery service asking for a well proportioned mother-in-law!
Ahahaha . . .wait a minute –that’s me!
It’s a really good concept Linda – one could have a jolly good think and write these all day long! I envy you! I shall be disappearing from the blog until mid March by the way – we are moving house and will be without the internet until the 11th March…so best of luck with your blogging in the meantime!
Well have a great move, Mike and I will look forward to your return. You’ll have to post a couple of pictures and give us a rundown on how the move went!
Humor turning a bit darker, eh? Not surprising… funny, too…. “Are you going to eat that elbow?”…. priceless..
gigoid, the dubious…
You’re right, Ned. I can definitely feel my dark side coming out. Or maybe I should say my dark meat side coming out. Are we dark meat or white meat I wonder?
Just like a yard bird, milady… dark meat on the bones, back & breast meat white… Or, so I’m told…. maybe you should ask the Cannibal Chef?….
I suppose one of them wrote a cookbook too? A regular Martha “Human” Stew-art.
Ahahahaha! Move over Paula Dean! Martha’s back in town! (I can’t wait to see the dipping sauce she comes up with!)
Sample Jacket Cover blurb: “Linda writes with unnerving ease on this subject. She shines a new light on to the after-dinner speaking circuit. This book will change your entire appreciation of gravy.
Ha HA! I’m going to chuckle off and on all day thinking about that cover blurb!
This big book of Canabalism has me craving something salty for lunch with a side of Ralph. I hope the next version has actual recipes I can follow. 86 the Sally.
Yes we’re completely out of Sallys. We had to replace her with salads. You want to see a cannibal mad, try feeding him lettuce.
Haw!! A Low-Fred diet–!! My stomach is growling with appreciation for such wit!! The writing’s so good on this blog, I’m eaten up with Envy!! Alas! Poor Aunt Envy– she wandered in at a bad time… : )
There is such a dearth of good cannibalism books in the market. I think you might have stumbled onto a hit!