Lady MacBlump’s Peculiar Love

Lady Mildred Madonna Anita MacBlump

Wasn’t fat nor obese, she was pleasingly plump


She pined for Lord Luther Wisconsin Parcheesie

He was thin as a rail and always uneasy


Now Mildred MacBlump, she liked eating vermilion

And soft ice cream cones, it would seem, by the million


Whenever Lord Luther Wisconsin Parcheesie

Laid eyes on the sight of ice cream he got queasy


Lord Luther Wisconsin asked Mildred to marry

She asked him, “But aren’t you allergic to dairy?”


But Lord Luther Wisconsin Parcheesie replied,

“Of course not Dear Lady!” (he quite blatantly lied)


And so Luther and Mildred were quickly conjoined

And ate steak after steak at the wedding (sirloined)


How much they enjoyed their wedded-bliss dream!

Until someone suggested they serve some ice cream


In the end, all it took was the smallest of bites

To extinguish Lord Luther Parcheesie’s night lights


And so Mildred MacBlump she just stiffened her lip

And heroically finished her Mint Chocolate Chip

Lord Luther Wisconsin Parcheesie and Lady Mildred Anita Madonna MacBlump










19 thoughts on “Lady MacBlump’s Peculiar Love

    • I’m so glad you liked it! I had a little trouble with the drawing. I have no idea how his arm got under the table leg. HA! And you wouldn’t believe how much I have to really concentrate to draw anything. Well judging from my drawing, maybe you would. LOL!

  1. Linda, I think you’re probably a genius. I have never seen anyone use “sirloined” in a poem before, let alone effectively. Also, you are hilarous. Nuff said.

  2. Linda, I think I love you. Not in a creepy, ‘want to flay you and wear your skin so that you will always be with me’, kinda way. It’s more a ‘wish I had once tenth of your talent and creativity, kinda way.

    • LOLILY! Thank you for that lovely lovely compliment. And may I say that I think your writing sparkles! It truly is a joy for me to read. You have a younger, edgier perspective which I love! But I think our synapses are definitely pieces in a puzzle that fit perfectly!

      • Linda, that is one of the nicest compliments that I have received. In all honesty, I wouldn’t put myself in the same category as you. You are consistently funny, your writing is witty and clever and the words that accompany your pictures are hilarious to say the least. Still, I thank you all the same. 🙂

  3. Another poem of absolute perfection. And it makes me crave sirloin! Perhaps your next poem can be about one Salisbury steak (who made a mistake).

    • Oh dear dear Salisbury Steak. She’s just like Rosemary’s baby only without the baby until Rosemary gets a cesarean 26 hours into labor and her blood pressure drops to 10/hell.

  4. One of the greatest poems ever written, exceeded only by the incredibly marvelous wonderful hysterical cartoon!!! Re the latter: Love the way Lord Parcheesie’s arm is under the table leg, and how his head has been truncated!! I can only assume the latter is somehow related to his unfortunate dairy allegy. I have previously opined that you are a great cartoon stylist, and I hereby clone that opinion!! Don’t change a thing– your style is perfect, and so, of course, is your wholly unique and wonderfully inventive poetry!! My flanks are shaking with delight, I’m gonna go shove my nose in a bag of oats!!! : )

  5. Oh Mark! Thank you so much for you wonderful comment! I was on cloud nine after reading the first sentence and by the time I finished reading it I was all the way up on cloud 143! Poor Lord Parcheesie. It’s usually the kiss of death to be a character in one of my poems. But seriously, Mark, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate all your kind words and support you have always given me! You are the best! Well I guess I’ll enjoy the view up here on cloud 143. And who knows, maybe the elevator will break and I’ll get to stay up here forever!

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