The Progressively Bad Decisions of Beatrice Crumb

Beatrice Crumb she was into her rum

And tequila and chocolate spumoni

Beatrice Crumb fell in love with a bum

On her way to Morocco with Tony

They drug him along, he regaled them with song

And smoked all their Kent cigarettes

He wore Tony’s pants (they were those of his aunt’s)

And ran up a mountain of debts

Beatrice Crumb, well she murdered the bum

On the road to Istanbul Turkey

Then Tony and her they both did concur

To sink him in waters quite murky

They went to the sea with explicit decree

To shove him to regions uncharted

But police waiting there — they arrested the pair

Before evidence could be discarded

Now Beatrice Crumb is foregoing her rum

And tequila and chocolate spumoni

Because in her venue, it’s not on the menu

It seems prison’s plumb  full o’ baloney

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Until next time . . . I love you