Welcome Dear Readers! Well it seems the time has finally come to talk about baby eating, a topic that some of you may find a tad offensive. However, for those of you brave enough to continue reading past this point → •, let’s dig in and talk about baby eating, shall we?
Cue the first slide:
Is it just me, or does this woman look like she’s not really trying very hard to save her baby? I mean, she could just reach over and pry the baby out of the lions mouth. Maybe she could even get the lion to open his mouth on his own with a few “here kitty kitty’s.” But no. Instead she looks like she’s about to say, “Wait here while I run home and get the rest of my children. I’ll be back in two shakes of a lambs tail and I’ll even bring the lamb for dessert.”
Cue the next slide:
Okay, here’s a mother who will clearly never make mother of the year. She seems far more concerned with the fact that the window washer is squeegeeing the underside of her husband’s calf than with the fact that one of her babies is playing with a fire-breathing dragon while another one is being eaten whole by a farmer on his lunch break.
And don’t you get the feeling that the man at the gate just sold her a case of Big Daddy Magellan’s Medieval Mesquite Baby Seasoning Salt?
And the next slide please:
Okay, here’s a baby eater that can’t even keep up! He’s got babies coming out of his ears! Clearly this baby eater has it all, wings, a full head (and body) of hair and a bellybutton that looks like Mickey Mouse. And even though he’s feasting on a baby, he still has rather kind eyes, don’t you think?
In fact, I have a feeling he’d make a better mother than the other mothers pictured above. Maybe that why people babies are lining up to be eaten by him — probably figuring that since they’re going to be eaten anyway — they might as well be eaten by a kind sort of monster — at least one who has a belly button shaped like Mickey Mouse.
Whoa! Here’s a baby eater that can clearly pack it away (and probably never gain a pound!). He’s got no qualms about chowing down on a baby two-thirds his size. I just hope his eyes don’t prove to be bigger than his stomach and I just hope his stomach is able to handle an entire baby-leg in one bite.
Nobody would eat a baby like this today. The potential for choking is far to great! We can only assume that this man is competing in some sort of Medieval baby-eating contest for which the prize is an all you can eat baby buffet. Let’s just hope he’s got a big supply of Big Daddy Magellan’s Medieval Mesquite Baby Seasoning Salt on hand cause he’s gonna need it!
And that concludes today’s baby-eating themed post. And if you enjoyed it enough, perhaps there will be more Baby-Eating Themed posts in this blog’s future.
Until next time . . . I love you
Linda Vernon Humor 
A deliciously sinful feast of hilarity!
AH! Another baby connoisseur such as myself! So glad you partaked!
This brought up some very painful memories for me.
Because a dingo ate my baby!!!
(anyone? anyone?)
Oh, and the mother in the first pic couldn’t dart after the lion, or it would have made the painting blurry.
And here you were finally coming to grips with the dingo eating your baby . . . I’ve got to remember never to bring up the subject of baby eating when you’re around! Sometimes my brain, Peanuts can be so awkwardly insensitive! 😀
Oh, this one made me giggle. I can tell that lion is over-tenderising the baby, you need to respect your ingredients. It’s not the done thing these days is it, of course it’s not as bad as eating veal but it’ll soon end up that way
Oh Joe!!! ahahahhahaha! You really know you’re way around a baby! ;D
I’ll feature on recipe on my other blog. It uses a pressure cooker.
Oh good idea! That would trap the flavor much better than the microwave.
I think the mother in the first picture looks like she’s doing the wave. Either that, or she’s in the Village People. “YMCA…”
aha! She does! She probably is one of the Village People from the actual “Village” She must be celebrating “no more babysitting!”
“Get in mah bellay!” – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoY_Fahp_Qc
Ahahha! Fat Bastard is the Gold Standard in the world of Baby Eating! 😀
My mind is wondering…..what is with these artists and baby eating?! Wow, enough to give one nitemares. And people wonder why I have no kids. ahaha! 🙂
I know! What were they thinking. I got all these off of Vintage Printables / http://vintageprintable.com/wordpress/. They’ve got all kinds of weird, wild images that are in the public domain. If you ever get a chance, you should check it out. ;D
The farmer one looks more like the grim reaper deciding which kid smells the best to take. Modern day baby eating has been stymied by risk assessment procedures which take so long the actual baby eating dates are passed before the fun can begin. All a bit disappointing really.
LOL!! Something tells me you might have spent a few years as a professional in baby preservatives! I can only imagine how many people you’ve saved from the heartbreak of eating expired babies! My bonnet’s off to you Summers! 😀
I really liked this one! I had some different perspectives, but I won’t gob up your space with my interpretations. Suffice it to say: I may steal some pics and interpret. 😉
I hope you’ll do a post, Undercover! I can’t wait to read it. Here’s the link to the wonderously weird images: http://vintageprintable.com/wordpress
And any time you want to gob up my space you are cordially invited to do so! 😀
LOL! Thanks!
This how you pick out your daycare. If the facilities doesn’t have any of these pictures on the wall, move on.
hahah! I think you advice should be included in all parenting manuals across the board! 😀
🙂
It’s a good thing I just put Henry down for a nap. All this baby eating is making me hungry!
Judging by all these medieval pictures I’d say there must have been a vitamin shortage that made people crave babies. Vitamin B perhaps.
ahahaha. Now we know the real, hidden code behind marking the patty cake with a “B”. Chilling! (Because babies are better when chilled, of course.)
‘Baby eating’ ?? Peanuts is really giving you some morbid thoughts…because I know you wouldn’t write about it without him telling you to lol Diane
You’re right! It’s all Peanuts fault, Diane! It was Peanuts alter-ego Dark Roasted Peanuts who thought of it! 😀
Maybe this was the medieval form of birth control?
Haha! Good point Benze! Oh, and the Plague too! 😀
Jeeze Louise. Where do you FIND this stuff??
I got these pics from a really fun site called Vintage Printables and they all are in the public domain. I can’t remember now how I thought the idea up in the first place though LOL!
[…] of unpleasant topics unless it’s laugh out loud funny like, say, the always popular topic of baby eating. But I digest . . […]