Hello Dear Readers! I love Thanksgiving! It’s one of my favorite holidays. Every year I cook for my family and every year I look forward to it with great pleasure. Maybe a little too much pleasure. That’s why I’ve come up with this list of warning signs on how to tell if you are going to overdo Thanksgiving.
How to Tell if You’re Going to Overdo Thanksgiving
You’ve replaced the phrase “I love you” with the phrase “Olive you”.
You just got back from Potato Mashing Immersion Camp.
You’ve instructed your surgeon to break ground on that new stomach addition.
In preparation for the big feast, you’ve managed to diet down to a size bite.
Even if you were to carry out pi to a million decimals, all forms of pi will be polished off by Friday.
You’ve taken to sleeping on a pillow of mini marshmallows.
Thanks to you and your voluminous Yam Stockpile the earth will be taking 6 days longer to orbit the sun.
“Yamsday.”
“Still?”
You made an appointment with your dentist to get your teeth sharpened.
Your new gravy boat sleeps six.
“No you!”
Your husband, Tom, is slightly worried about you because his name is Bill.
You’ve been preheating your oven since the 4th of July.
You refuse to read, watch or listen to anything that isn’t about Jello.
“Is he in the form of a Jello mold?”
“No.”
“Is he carrying Jello?”
“No.”
“Then I’m not going to look.”
And the most obvious way to tell if you’re going to overdo Thanksgiving:
Your appendix has been officially called back into active duty for the stomach reserves.
Until next time . . . Olive you
Thanks for the tips, Linda. Fortunately, my contractor found a way to add expansions on each side as well as between the belly and button. In preparation of Christmas dinner, he’s already drawing up plans for a hollow leg (or two).
You are like a literary version of Area 51 but with all the spooks on the outside and unable to locate you.
Thank you!! That is the nicest compliment ever not counting the one where someone called me Erma Bombeck on acid!