Me and My Grease Spots
I can put on a clean pair of white pants in the bedroom and by the time I get out into the living room, they’ve got a grease spot on them.
It’s the same story with practically every piece of clothing I own and I don’t get it? Where is all this grease coming from and why is it making a beeline for my clothes?
I mean, sure if I were nibbling fries from the fryer baskets at McDonald’s or using my blouse to cradle a pile of Pringles, I could understand it, but I never do stuff like that . . . well, hardly ever.
Grease Just Finds Me Wherever I Am, Especially If I’m Eating Out
Once a grease spot has mysteriously appeared on my clothing, no matter who I happen to be dining with, the conversation always goes something like this:
“Oh Darn”
“What’s wrong?”
“Oh I spilled grease on my shirt.”
“But you’re eating a banana.”
“I know.”
“Well, why don’t you apply some cold water to it. It will come out if you get it right away.”
Notice that the advice giver always uses the same phrases:
“apply cold water” and “if you get it right away”.
What I want to know is who thought up this method for getting out grease stains and then plastered it all over the internet thereby making it a darn-near scientific fact– when it has NEVER worked for me — not even once!
Once a Sucker Always a Sucker
And even though I know it doesn’t work, I’ll still dutifully apply cold water to the spot. This only makes the area all around the grease spot wet, thus highlighting it for all to see as I am leaving the restaurant.
Eventually the water dries and guess what? My new best friend, Mr. Grease Spot, is still there– uglying up my blouse and patting itself on its oily little back for uncommon tenacity and stick-to-itiveness.
Go To the Light, Little Grease Spot!
I remember my mother telling me that when she was a little girl, and some distant relative died, her family would say “he(or she) is just a grease spot now.”
If that’s true I’ve got a lot of distant relatives living in my closet.
All I can say is “Go to the Light” distant relatives! And if that doesn’t work, apply cold water and THEN go to the light!
Until Next time . . . I love you
Linda Vernon Humor 
I’m JUST like you. It’s probably because we are related. I always have stains on my clothing. I’ll buy a new shirt and by the end of the day, I look down and it is either covered in crumbs, grease spots or even bleach spots! I never buy expensive clothing. I can only purchase shirts that are $8 or less otherwise I’d be broke!
I know honey, you are a chip of the old block. Or should I say a drip of the old grease spot!!