Good News! The latest edition of the Pottery Barn Catalog arrived by Pottery Barn Pony Express just seconds ago!
Let’s open a page at random, shall we?
Finally, a glimpse into the mind of the Pottery Barn People for whom the Pottery Barn Rooms have been specifically decorated for!
Pottery Barn is offering this whiteboard to its customers for $54! Oh sure, Pottery Barn knows you can get the exact same thing at Wal-Mart for $10.
They didn’t just fall off the truffle truck yesterday, you know!
But PB also knows that the real value of this white board lies not in the actual white board itself; but in the hip, aristocratic lifestyle that has been casually, yet carefully outlined for us in a manner that implies the targeted Pottery Barn Person of whom we are speaking is either a) descended from royalty or b) vice versa.
Is this the stuff us ordinary people’s dreams are made of or what?
As you can see written on the $54 white board, Pottery Barn is going “Truffle Hunting on Labor Day!”
Probably with the Queen of England and Camilla who they will make do all the digging, of course. (But that’s another Pottery Barn story for another Pottery Barn day.)
On the 17th is scribbled: “Grams”
Now we aren’t sure exactly who or what Grams is. Either PB is planning a Graham Cracker Festival that day; or something is going on with Grandma — even though Pottery Barn wouldn’t be caught dead referring to “Grams” as Grandma because that would significantly lower the price of their $54 white board back down to Wal-Mart’s $10 price.
No, Pottery Barn is probably referring to “Dear ol’ Grams” who is bff with the Queen and who organizes the family truffle hunt every year.
Yes Grams! Who was also the first woman to ever romp on the beach wearing nothing but a barrel and a puffy hat back in 1874 — which is why sometimes Pottery Barn doesn’t want people to know about Grams.
Then on the 8th, there’s an interesting note that simply reads: Pick cat color for bedroom!
Rest assured, dear reader, that Pottery Barn will choose a cat the coloring of which will not only flatter; but will also go so far as to worship the Benjamin Moore paint colors in the bedroom.
But sadly, the very next day – in square 24 of PB’s $54 white board – there’s a rather ominous magnetic letter “d” just sticking there as magnets are wont to do.
This can only mean one of two things a) Divorce or b) Diflorce and since Deflorce isn’t a word it’s probably Divorce. But anyway, Pottery Barn doesn’t feel like talking about it. OK?
Let’s respect that.
Until next time . . . I love you