Signs you’ve gotten too much sun this summer


You had to take out a loan to pay your sunscreen bill.

“Oh no, I’m sorry. That’s not $4,000 that’s $40,000! I always have trouble with those decimal points!”

You’ve had your sunglasses on so long  your ears have grown over them.

“No! I don’t want to take them off! I can’t say why. I just don’t!”

You have pet names for all the solar flares.

“Oh lookee! It’s Lil’ Mr. Snookie Ookums again!

No matter if you’re a mother or a father, you’re everybody’s mummy

“I love you mommy!”
“Shh . . . mommy’s trying to take a nap.”

You feel slightly cannibalistic when you order KFC extra crispy

Is this chicken too crispy or is it just me?

Your vitamin D dip stick is well past the ridiculous line.

“Oh yeah, it’s well past the ridiculous line, in fact it’s almost up to laughable.”

You’re smoldering . . . but not in a good way

“S is for Smoldering! I am making an “S” aren’t I?”

You were disappointed to find out nobody makes cherry red makeup.

“Sorry, ma’am we don’t have any cherry red foundation. We only have orange orange and lemon yellow.”

And the biggest sign that you’ve gotten too much sun this summer?

You’ve been delirious since the 4th of July

“I love you hearth burl! Goats on the skids! What say we go shave a  glumpy?”

***

Until next time . . . I love you

<

27 thoughts on “Signs you’ve gotten too much sun this summer

  1. hahaha! I can relate to just about all of those, maybe the last one the most? I’ve been looking for my glumpy all day long, I think it ran off with the goats? Lol! But then again, I am in menopause… ’nuff said.

    • LOL! Well at least you have an excuse, Lisa. I think menopause does make you somewhat delirious. But don’t worry it will probably only last a couple of years! (just kidding sort of!)

  2. As someone who knows what PETA stands for, I must vigorously protest your tacit condoning of violence against Glumpies in the form of shaving.
    These delightful creatures only want to be loved and fed and allowed to poop on the new white shag carpeting we recently had installed in our Metropolitan Home.

    That “S” chick though? She’s gotta go.

  3. Speaking as a sun-worshipper, I LOVE this! I try to justify it by saying that I am “stocking up” on my Vitamin D stores to get me through the long, cold winter. 😉

  4. Rightfully your fried chicken pic is Popeye’s, which doesn’t need extra crispy, it always is. Better biscuits too. And rice/beans. And they give grape/strawberry jelly packets for biscuits. And…yeah!

  5. I love you hearth burl! Goats on the skids! What say we go shave a glumpy?” -HAHA! This is my kind of phrase! I’m pretty sure I’ve uttered words like this upon waking up after sunbathing.

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