You had to take out a loan to pay your sunscreen bill.

You’ve had your sunglasses on so long  your ears have grown over them.

You have pet names for all the solar flares.

No matter if you’re a mother or a father, you’re everybody’s mummy

You feel slightly cannibalistic when you order KFC extra crispy

Your vitamin D dip stick is well past the ridiculous line.

You’re smoldering . . . but not in a good way

You were disappointed to find out nobody makes cherry red makeup.

And the biggest sign that you’ve gotten too much sun this summer?

You’ve been delirious since the 4th of July

***

Until next time . . . I love you

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