Here are 17 things you will never hear a man say:

How do you work this thing?

I wish you would let me vacuum once in a while.

Sick Tupperware!

Shhh . . Can’t you see I’m trying to watch I Love Lucy?

What do you mean you can’t drive any slower?

I Know! Let’s skip football, whip up a batch of tapioca pudding and watch Lifetime.

I have no idea how to read a map.

This bedding set would be cute if it just had more decorative pillows.

You like it?  I bought it from the Home Shopping Network.

I got my 6-pack Sweatin’ to the Oldies.

Has anybody seen my flute?

Ah!  I love that this hand lotion feels so greasy on my hands.

What? You pound in screws with a hammer?  Me too!

Can I have the rest of your broccoli?

If only my computer was older and  didn’t have so much memory.

I just love the way you strip the gears.

Let’s sell my recliner; I’ll stand.

Tomorrow:  17 things you’ll never hear a woman say!

Until next time . . . I love you