Though Ancient Romans tried valiantly to crucify, burn and/or feed to wild animals as many people as possible on any given day, it seems they were no match for the killing powers of the plague bacterium, Yersinia Pestis, which, experts believe, was responsible for killing an estimated 100 million (MDLXXXVII) Romans.
After studying a boatload of ancient skeletons, Barbara Bramanti, an Archaeogeneticist at Johannes Gutenberg University in Mainz Germany, was flabbergasted to discover Yersinia Pestis was responsible for all the plague epidemics in the last 1500 years — almost as flabbergasted as she was to discover the Johannes Gutenberg University in Mainz Germany actually offered a degree in Archeogenetics!
There’s Bones in Them Thar Parking Lots
Digging up parking lots and looking for bones is the new Archeology craze that is sweeping the UK! The recent discovery of the royal bones of King Richard the III, underneath a Parking Lot in Leicester has given rise to The UK Bone Rush of 2013 causing archeologists with bone fever to leave their wives and families, and risk everything to go downtown and dig for ancient bones underneath parking lots all over the UK.
Recently, some lucky archeologists struck bone after digging up a parking lot in downtown Scotland that turned up big, huge nuggets of bones from a medieval knight and his family. And the mining of another parking lot at the corner of Newarke and Oxford streets, yielded the Motherlode when an entire Roman Cemetery was discovered!
UK traffic experts fear if this worrying trend continues unchecked, there will be absolutely nowhere to park in the entire British Isles by this time next year.
Robot Finds Little Mysterious Spheres in Ancient Temple
In order to explore a tunnel in the pyramid of Teotihuacan in Mexico, claustrophobic archeologists sent in a remote-controlled robot affectionately dubbed, TLaloc II-TC, that had an infrared camera and a 3D laser scanner strapped to where it’s little eyes should be.
Archeologists were positively giddy when little TLaloc II-TC, working all by itself, managed to discover mysterious spheres laying around everywhere on the floor of the tunnel.
When experts pointed out that the spheres looked more like rocks than spheres, the team of claustrophobic archeologists rushed to cover little TLaloc II-TC’s ears and insisted it was merely a coincidence. The experts were then told, in no uncertain terms, not to let the ten-ton, secret-pyramid-chamber door hit them on their way out.
Until next time . . . I love you