I’m not usually a lucky person. The slot machines I play are sure to be clinkety-clank-less, the numbers on my raffle tickets go unannounced, and, truth be told, I’ve never even had an opportunity to shout the word “Bingo” . . . unless, of course, it was his name-o.
So when I got kissed by Bill Murray at the AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-am Golf Tournament, they had to call the fire department to get me down from Cloud 9.
The whole thing would have never happened had I not stepped on the toes of a good-natured, somewhat tipsy Englishman while trying to get a glimpse of Clint Eastwood at the fifth hole at Spyglass -; breaking the ice between the Englishman and I, while simultaneously breaking most of his toes.
Clint proceeded to hit a ball that landed squarely on the green. Now, for secretive, humorous reasons known only to the British, this sent my new Broken Toed Buddy into a fit of laughter and ear-splitting wise-crack-ery; the likes of which can only be achieved after enjoying a hearty three-martini breakfast.
Take a Mulligan, Clint!” The English One advised and began to chant. “Mulli! Mulli! Mulli!” Finally, Clint turned to him and assuming his famous Dirty Harry persona (at least that’s what I assumed he was assuming) replied, “Yeah, OK,” a comment to which the gallery responded with an explosion of laughter so uproarious, I was left to conclude that everybody there was British.
Then . . . suddenly . . . like a Cinderella story out of nowhere – weaving his way through the throngs to the tee—appeared The Great and Powerfully Funny, Bill Murray, Himself.
“Look! It’s Bill Murray!” I observed with all the subtlety of Lucy Ricardo spotting William Holden at the Brown Derby. My English Buddy didn’t miss a beat. “Hey Bill!” He screamed over the crowd. “This lady would like a kiss!”
Bill Murray responded by slowly turning around like he was Moe Howard hearing the dreaded phrase “Niagara Falls!” As he headed my way, the crowd was giddy with anticipation. I know it’s weird and maybe I’ve been watching too much I Love Lucy but what was running through my head at that exact moment was, “Wait until Ethel hears about this!”
Then, Bill Murray positioned himself in front of me and politely waited for the crowd to get their cameras ready and when the time was right . . .
. . . suddenly the AT&T golf tournament faded away, and it was just me and my lips and Bill Murray kissing me . . . with his lips. I don’t know how long we kissed. It could have been an instant or it could have been an hour or possibly four or five hours (but I doubt it) that I was suspended in the bliss of Bill Murray’s kiss.
On the drive home, I suddenly realized it was February 2nd which meant – that’s right – I got kissed by Bill Murray on Groundhog day. And in the immortal the words of Carl the Greens keeper — after he was granted total consciousness on his deathbed by the Dali Lama –I thought:
“So I got that going for me . . . which is nice.”
Until next time . . . I love you (and that goes double for Bill Murray)
Linda Vernon Humor 
That was cool, I guess. And funny!!
It was definitely a highlight! I was in a fog for the rest of the tournament!
I’m so jealous. I’d like to be kissed by any celebrity, even Nicholas Cage. (I’d gargle afterward). Please note that Moe’s name was Moe Howard. Larry was Larry Fine. I’d pucker up for them too.
LOL! Well I hope someday your Nicholas Cage dream comes true (better carry a little bottle of mouthwash you and have it at the ready just in case you should run into Nick.
Oh that’s right! It was Moe Howard! Thank you so much for that heads up. Now I’m going to spend the rest of the afternoon trying to figure out which stooge I’d rather be kissed by. I’m leaning toward Curly, but that could change . . .
WOW ! You’ve been Murrayed ! Now you’re the most famous person that I almost know.
And you’re almost a famous Dr., Dr. Howardfinehoward so now it’s kind of like we’re living parallel lives. (not really I just like showing off that I know how to spell parallel)
In the almost three months that I’ve almost known you, I’ve always believed that you were an unparalleled speller of parallel, with no L’s to spare.
Now lean towards me, and …
We’ve almost know each other 3 months? It seems more like 90 days to me. Parallel. Sorry just felt like showing off.
Gee, it actually seems like we’ve known each other for closer to a quarter of a year (although I’ve known me for a bit longer).
Out of curiosity, what is your favorite way to park ?
How do you prefer your universes ?
What kind of uneven bars do you like in the gym ?
There is a little clown in all of us. I believe it is next to the pancreas. Causes belly laughs.
How do you prefer your universes? Oh if I only had a nickel for every time I’ve been asked that!
Soooo, I owe you five cents ? OK, just put it on my tab.
How fabulous! What a story to tell the grandkids, ha! I really enjoyed this and was chuckling at your witty skill in telling stories.
It was quite an experience, alright! 🙂 So glad you enjoyed my little story, and thanks for stopping by.
Why couldn’t you have THAT day over, and over, and over…
Gotta admit, I smiled the whole way through…. But, when you got to the line from Lucy, it got bigger, & stayed that way….
Great memory…. I’m envious… Oh, wait… not of the kiss itself…. I think, with Bill, I’d settle for having a beer…
I bet Reader’s Digest would pay you for this one….
gigoid
Reader’s Digest . . . oh I should look into that. Thanks for the suggestion. I wonder if they are still in business. (I haven’t seen one around for years)
Yep, they are… they still grace certain doctor’s offices, and the occasional back of a toilet… They pay in the small four figures now for those personal articles, especially one with a draw like Murray… I think Life In These United States & the military jokes are getting around $12000 – $1500, & the articles are more… They’re even bigger market-wise than they were, though trimmer in actual size…
Good luck; I think it will fly…
gigoid/Ned