The Sinuses of the Times

I’ve got a cold.  Which is weird because I never get colds due to the smallness of my sinus passages.  That’s what they told me when I had my head examined anyway.

I probably would have never gotten around to getting my head examined had I not used it to crack my car’s windshield.  You see, back in 1978, I was sitting behind the wheel of my Buick Skylark, minding my own business. when it suddenly stopped abruptly due to a truck that had gotten in its way. Even though the car was stopped, my head just kept on going and going and going  kind of like the Energizer Bunny (only not as cute), until CRRRAAACKK! It finally came to rest on a not-very-fluffy windshield.

Energizer bunny linda vernon humor
Oh go sit down!

I didn’t have a mark or bruise or anything at all on my head afterwards.  It was one of those accidental Ninja moves wherein if my windshield would have been a stack of bricks, I would have cracked right through them and everyone would have applauded.

I’m pretty sure the policeman who showed up shortly thereafter was impressed with my seemingly black-belt, head-butting abilities, but he suggested I get my head examined nevertheless.

Maybe I just looked like the kind of person to him who could never have too many head examinations.

So I did and that’s when I found out I had unusually small sinus passages.

Somebody get me my microscope! STAT!
X-ray Technician:  I bet you don’t get very many colds do you?

Me:  No, why?

X-ray Technician: Because you have the smallest sinus passages I have ever seen!

Of course, he probably only started working as an X-ray Technician that morning, but WOW!

It’s kind of nice when one has a feature about oneself that distinguishes one from The Great Unwashed.  I was so impressed with this news that, truth be told,  I have been a bit of a sinus snob ever since.

“Sorry Darling! I don’t have time for you today. I’m meeting my X-ray Technician at the Waldorf Astoria where we will be discussing the smallness of my sinus passages.”
But now, I’m a little worried about my small sinus passage status, because I’ve got this cold see.  And it makes me think that somehow I might have accidentally stretched out my sinus passages, you know, inadvertently.  But how?

Well,  I suppose after all these years, something’s bound to give in the area of the sinuses.  For instance back in 1978, I weighed approximately 110 whereas now I weigh approximately more.

Could some of that extra weight have ended up in my sinuses causing them to enlarge?

Does this make-up make my sinuses look fat?

Maybe I’ll just scoot on over the X-ray lab and find out what’s going on with my sinuses.

Of course,  I don’t want to brag, but since I’m the kind of person who looks like I could never have too many head examinations, they’ll probably let me go first.

Until next time . . . I love you