Dear Readers,
There is troubling news afoot! Pottery Barn has issued an official all points bulletin to alert the public that Pottery Barn’s beloved Grams is missing!

According to the above pictured white board Grams left on Labor Day to go truffle hunting in the Pottery Barn Sustainable Forest (that Pottery Barn and Pottery Barn only has dibs on!) and hasn’t been seen since! And frankly, Dear Readers, Pottery Barn is starting to get worried!
Have You Seen This Person?

Missing since Labor Day
Last seen Hunting Truffles in Pottery Barn Sustainable Forest
Wanted Dead or Alive (first choice would be alive)
$15.00 REWARD!!!!!
Naturally Pottery Barn is beside itself with concern and has placed a call to their enclave of Master Crafters headquartered in a barn made of pottery deep in the secret sustainable forests utilizing this Pottery Barn Grand Retro-Styled Phone: featuring flash, push buttons and redial, $59 — but, unfortunately, PB just keeps getting the answering machine (also retro-styled $79 – metal finish).

Pottery Barn Investigators were able to trace Gram’s trail (by following the crushed walnut shells and orange peels – Grams’ favorite snack) to this outdoor sitting area featuring Pottery Barn’s FSLIC-certified solid eucalyptus Chesapeake Collection Sectional $2,748 (free shipping).

After that, the Pottery Barn Bloodhounds were then able to sniff out a trail leading to this beautiful Kensington Tilt Mirror framed in rust resistant solid brass. Trackers are pretty certain that Grams jumped out of the window reflected therein.

Pottery is as bitterly disappointed as you and I, Dear Readers, that they, as yet, have not been able to locate Grams. But they have vowed to keep looking until they either find their beloved Grams or get tired of looking! Until then, Pottery Barn will be holding a candlelight vigil/candle sale at a Pottery Barn stores nationwide.

Until next time . . . if you see Grams remember there’s $15 in it for you!
