I broke my glasses because my brain, Peanuts, placed them directly underneath where my foot was supposed to go.
Peanuts and I have been wearing glasses now for 20 years due to adult onset blurriness, and you’d think my brain, Peanuts, would have figured out a way to not step on them.
But no, every once in a while Peanuts has to test me to see if I’m still paying attention (and I never am).
I don’t get it because there’s nothing Peanuts and I hate doing more than having to get new glasses. What was Peanuts thinking?
So I got my husband, 37, to tape them back together for me, because he’s an engineer so he knows about things like that.
Except that I didn’t trust his taping judgment once he was done and added more tape myself.
So now I’m officially a nerd.
I’d take a picture to show you but I think it might be too early in the morning for that. Oh what the heck, let’s live dangerously shall we?
Me in my new nerdy glasses:
Well, wait a minute . . . let me see if I can take the picture from a better angle:
Oh that’s better. I like this of me in my nerdy glasses a little better because you can’t really see the tape all that much.
Anyway, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, the careless behavior of my brain, Peanuts.
So now Peanuts and I will have to stumble down to the glasses store and get those nasty drops put in. Then once we are legally blind, we will be guided out front to pick out frames from the two or three thousand styles displayed right in front of our eyes somewhere.
The conversation with the professional four-eyes care specialist will go something like this:
Me: How do these look on me?
Her: Oh those look good on you.
Me: Really? Well how about these?
Her: Oh!!! Those look good on you!
Me. Really? What about these?
Her: Oh those!!! Look good on you.
Me: How about these?
Her: Oh those, look!!! Good on you!!
Me: And these?
Her: Oh those look good!!! On you!!
Me: Oh but what about these?
Her: Oh those look good on!!! You!!!!!
Me: Oh, yeah, what about these?
Her: Oh those look good on you.
Of course, we all know how this story ends. Peanuts and I will finally decide on frames, then go back to pick them up three weeks later because their motto is ready in about an hour give or take three weeks.
Me Picking Up My Glasses: Are you sure these are my glasses because they look horrible and I can’t see a thing.
Her: OH!!! THOSE!!! LOOK!!! GOOD!!! ON!!! YOU!!!
Then Peanuts and I will go home and while I’m crying my eyes out, Peanuts will be eating a 1000 grams of sugar.
Until next time . . . I love you
Linda Vernon Humor 