My Brain, Peanuts, Has Four Eyes

I broke my glasses because my brain, Peanuts, placed them directly underneath where my foot was supposed to go.

My Brain, Peanuts
My Brain, Peanuts

Peanuts and I have been wearing glasses now for 20 years due to adult onset blurriness, and you’d think my brain, Peanuts, would have figured out a way to not step on them.

But no, every once in a while Peanuts has to test me to see if I’m still paying attention (and I never am).

I don’t get it because there’s nothing Peanuts and I hate doing more than having to get new glasses.  What was Peanuts thinking?

So I got my husband, 37, to tape them back together for me, because he’s an engineer so he knows about things like that.

Except that I didnt trust his taping judgment once he was done and added more tape myself.

So now I’m officially a nerd.

I’d take a picture to show you but I think it might be too early in the morning for that. Oh what the heck, let’s live dangerously shall we?

Me in my new nerdy glasses:

Well, wait a minute . . . let me see if I can take the picture from a better angle:

Oh that’s better.  I like this of me in my nerdy glasses a little better because you can’t really see the tape all that much.

Anyway, what were we talking about?  Oh yeah, the careless behavior of my brain, Peanuts.

So now Peanuts and I will have to stumble down to the glasses store and get those nasty drops put in.  Then once we are legally blind, we will be guided out front to pick out frames from the two or three thousand styles displayed right in front of our eyes somewhere.

The conversation with the professional four-eyes care specialist will go something like this:

Me:  How do these look on me?

Her:  Oh those look good on you.

Me:  Really?  Well how about these?

Her:  Oh!!! Those look good on you!

Me.  Really?  What about these?

Her:  Oh those!!! Look good on you.

Me:  How about these?

Her:  Oh those, look!!!  Good on you!!

Me:  And these?

Her:  Oh those look good!!! On you!!

Me:   Oh but what about these?

Her:  Oh those look good on!!!  You!!!!!

Me:  Oh, yeah, what about these?

Her:  Oh those look good on you.

Of course, we all know how this story ends.  Peanuts and I will finally decide on frames, then go back to pick them up three weeks later because their motto is ready in about an hour give or take three weeks.

Me Picking Up My Glasses:  Are you sure these are my glasses because they look horrible and I can’t see a thing.

Her:  OH!!! THOSE!!! LOOK!!! GOOD!!! ON!!! YOU!!!

Then Peanuts and I will go home and while I’m crying my eyes out, Peanuts will be eating a 1000 grams of sugar.

Until next time . . . I love you

23 thoughts on “My Brain, Peanuts, Has Four Eyes

  1. Have you thought of trading peanuts on a better model. I upgraded to cashews for as the name implies its a better class of brain, still capable of the most stupid things but all my neighbours now look at me with renewed awe as my brain has an essence of class about it. Just a thought. And what a nuisance having to get new glasses, trouble is we have to have them in order to function as humans, then again that is sometimes debatable.Have a lovely weekend Linda.

    • Oh I love the idea of upgrading peanuts to a better, perhaps trendier nut. Perhaps I’ll have to do some research into what nut the queen prefers (besides Prince Philip, that is.) I love that you upgraded to cashews. I think any brain name with the word “cash” in it is a winner Michael! I will have a lovely weekend. And I’ll hope you’ll do the same down under!

  2. I don’t know if this helps but…three UK supermarket chains are selling reading glasses on their shelves for $3 a pair. You just try them all on and buy the one that allows you to clearly read the small print on the display that says: “Opticians will be out of work in six months”. Then, you buy that pair.
    I bough an extra pair specially for treading on and another for sitting on.

    • That’s what I need. A pair for sitting on and a pair for stepping on! Ha! Wow only $3 a pair for reading glasses at the grocery store? That’s almost worth a trip to the UK to stock up! 😀

  3. Obviously, it’s not the glasses that make the girl, but the girl that makes the glasses. In other words, you make any pair of frames look good, Linda. And I’m sure the more expensive the frames, the better your four-eyes-frame-specialist thought you looked. The young lady who helped me seemed rather annoyed and disappointed when I went with the economy model instead of the upscale trendy version which would have cost me more than a two-month vacation in Europe. My brain, Hickory Nut, has stepped or sat on them yet. He prefers to rub them with sandpaper.

    • Oh they are! I wear mine until I either step on them or they are so scratched up I can’t see much anymore. I get used to looking at a foggy, scratchy world, then I step on them and have to get a new pair and viola! I reminded once again of how beautiful the world really is through glasses I can actually see through.

  4. I’m short sighted, you know, the kind where you can’t read the number on the bus til it knocks you down.
    I’ve just bought two new pairs, but I go for a free eye test with vouchers and then order online at companies which are cheaper, you can even get Groupon’s for them so you get a £55 voucher for £19. The benefit of this is you have no idea of what they look like until they are delivered and non-refundable. So I now have a box of unwanted glasses which are great for disguises if I ever happen to find myself stocked up on false moustaches and funny hats too.

    • Oh short sighted would be even more annoying. That’s so cool that you can get a free eye test over there. It would really be hard to buy a pair of glasses online. But there is something very wonderful about having a drawer full of glasses. Hey you ought to see if NYC has a fake mustache store! You could stock up!! 😀

      • Brooklyn must have such a store, I heard it is hipster central.

        It is annoying not needing glasses all the time as I invariably forget them. I was in the bar yesterday and a friend I knew was standing about 10 feet away shouting over to me, I was leaning over squinting at them and had no idea who it was until they got closer. They must think I am intentionally ignoring them.

        • Oh that never has happened to me, But that would be awkward. And you don’t feel like you can explain and even if you did if they are already put out they probably wouldn’t believe that your just not wearing your glasses.

          What I hate is when I just can’t understand what someone is saying in a small talk situation and I keep asking them what they just said and they keep saying the same unintelligible thing over and over until I finally just pretend like I understand and know they know I’m faking it. There should be a word for that.

  5. HAW!! Eye, eye, Cap’n Linda, ya done had me glass-eyed with tears on this ‘un!! I’ve been on one side of that same conversation, and I recognized it immediately. I’ve tried sticking one of the frame stems in my ear, so the glasses stick straight out from one side of my head, but I still hear: “Those look good on you!!” Hopeless… : )

    Great drawing, as always!! Must confess, I’ve always been jealous of your brain because it’s plural. Sadly, mine is just singular… : (

    You da funniest, thanks a heap-o!!

    • Ahahahah! I am for real going to try sticking the glasses in my ear on my next trip to get glasses. And I’ll bet you anything they will respond with “OH. THOSE. LOOK. GOOD ON. YOU! haha! Well thanks for coming by Mark and cheering me up as usual with a nice dose of your Markie MacGiggles-ness!! 😀

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