water hazard

How to Tell if Your Husband Has Been Watching Too Much Golf

Linda Vernon Lists, The Daily Routine , , , , , , , , ,

  • He used to be honest but now there’s nothing he likes better than a good lie

  • He’s always trying to calculate his gas yardage

“Uh . . . let’s see here . . . $4.37 times 280 miles divided by 36 inches . . . wait . . .”

  • He’s 63 now but he just can’t wait to turn 60 FORE!

  • He insists the only thing that quenches his thirst is a big glass of water hazard.

“Now you pinkie swear this is from the 7th hole at Spyglass, right?”

  • When it’s time for bed he announces he’s going to hole out.

  • He has to make sure everything is done the fairway.

  • He says he’ll only watch a movie that has Humphry Bogey Gart in it.

  • He’s trying to rig up the washing machine so it will have back spin.

“Wait . . . which way was it going before?”

  • Before he eats a potato chip he announces he’s going to “chip in”.

“Quiet everybody I’m chipping in!”

  • He has completely cut out food you have to slice.

“I can’t eat that! It will ruin my mental game!”

  • He won’t eat hard boiled eggs anymore because they don’t have dimples.

“What? No dimples? No eatie!

  • He freaked out because he bought a dozen donuts and there wasn’t a hole in one.

    “Wait! Don’t eat any! I’m going to take them back because I don’t think there’s a hole in one.”

Until next time . . . I love you