How to Tell if Your Husband Has Been Watching Too Much Golf

  • He used to be honest but now there’s nothing he likes better than a good lie

  • He’s always trying to calculate his gas yardage

“Uh . . . let’s see here . . . $4.37 times 280 miles divided by 36 inches . . . wait . . .”

  • He’s 63 now but he just can’t wait to turn 60 FORE!

  • He insists the only thing that quenches his thirst is a big glass of water hazard.

“Now you pinkie swear this is from the 7th hole at Spyglass, right?”
  • When it’s time for bed he announces he’s going to hole out.

  • He has to make sure everything is done the fairway.

  • He says he’ll only watch a movie that has Humphry Bogey Gart in it.

  • He’s trying to rig up the washing machine so it will have back spin.

“Wait . . . which way was it going before?”
  • Before he eats a potato chip he announces he’s going to “chip in”.

“Quiet everybody I’m chipping in!”
  • He has completely cut out food you have to slice.

“I can’t eat that! It will ruin my mental game!”
  • He won’t eat hard boiled eggs anymore because they don’t have dimples.

“What? No dimples? No eatie!
  • He freaked out because he bought a dozen donuts and there wasn’t a hole in one.

    “Wait! Don’t eat any! I’m going to take them back because I don’t think there’s a hole in one.”

Until next time . . . I love you

28 thoughts on “How to Tell if Your Husband Has Been Watching Too Much Golf

  1. LOL!! Seems like 37 keeps you well immersed in the world of golf! I’ve always wanted to learn how to play but if this is what starts to happen then maybe I’d do better to watch from the sidelines? Haha!

    • Haha Lisa! Stay on the sidelines. I used to like to golf, but I don’t like it anymore because it takes soooo long — usually about 5 hours and then to and from the course and it’s a good portion of the day! There are so many more things I’d rather be doing. 37 watches a lot more golf than he plays and that goes on 24/7 thanks to the Golf Channel . . . 🙂

    • Haha! I was very tempted to go buy donuts this morning after looking at that picture! I’m still hungry for them. I better stay away from all pictures of donuts first thing in the morning! 🙂

  2. This is great mom! You are so clever. Who knew 37’s obession with golf and science could be so funny.

  3. You only forgot three:

    He punches a cartoon so he can hit a draw.

    He stands on a box of Earl Grey so he can tea off.

    He’s covered with talon marks because he tried to get an eagle.

    OK, I admit it: they’re not as funny as: “No dimples, no eatie!” : )

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