You’re Gonna Be Rich, Baby!

Today at Linda Vernon Humor, we are proud to offer you three Super-Sizzling, Blistering-Hot, Ouchie-Mama, Home Business Ideas that you can get up and running faster than you can mix up a pitcher of martinis and inquire if anyone has change for a one-hundred dollar bill!

Road to Riches Idea Number One


The Claim:   This beauty of a business is the hottest craze to hit the States and; simultaneously, the English alphabet in over 400 years!

The Concept:  Shockingly simple.  Are you familiar with a little thing called the letter “Q”?   Sell it.   Period.   End of story. (Except for the visionary idea of offering them in every color!)

The Strategy:  Sit by the pool and shout over your neighbor’s fence, “Hey! do you wanna buy a Q?”  Get other people to do it too, then sit back and watch the money roll in as you sip several martinis in quick succession.  You might not feel so good later but who cares!  YOU’RE GONNA BE RICH, BABY!

Two men in wading pool
"Q's for sale! Get 'em while they're hot!"

Road to Riches Idea Number Two


The Claim:  Hey, Bill!  Don’t let the Gates hit you when you leave!  Work in the fast-paced, challenging field of high-tech with your very own Computer Sitting Service!

The Concept:  Get kids to babysit computers and fork over the proceeds to you.   Period.   Case closed.   Leave.

The Strategy:  Sit by the pool and swill a couple of pitchers of martinis as you wait for the money to roll in.  All that money and all that booze might cause you to act a tad bit inappropriate and your spouse might have to call the police and have you hauled away to the pokey, but who cares?  YOU’RE GONNA BE RICH, BABY!

"Anybody here interested in a bribe? I've got chump change."

Road to Riches Idea Number Three


The claim:  Stop being a 40-hour a week sap.  People are always yanking your chain.  Why not yank theirs?  For a fee, that is!

The Concept: Yanking people’s chains for a fee.   Genius.  Slam dunk.   End of story.  (Except for the part where you get some kids to go around town yanking people’s chains for a fee which they immediately hand over to you!)

The Strategy:  Sit by the pool and drink upwards of three pitchers of martinis followed by a pint of Jack Daniels and washed down with a gallon of Gallo until you put on a blonde wig and wander around the neighborhood reciting the Gettysburg Address at the top of your lungs and are eventually whisked away to a retreat at an undisclosed location.

Man wearing blonde wig

Oh sure, a situation like this is going to cost you money, initially, but who cares?  YOU’RE GONNA BE RICH, BABY!

Until next time . . . I love you!

One thought on “You’re Gonna Be Rich, Baby!

  1. I’d like to buy into the yanking your chain for a fee business. I think you could turn this into a pyramid scheme. The more \chains your “employees” yank, the more money you’ll make!

Please leave a comment. I need help finishing my sentences.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s