I Was a Cow in Chuck’s Head


“I was a cow in Chuck’s head,” is the line my brain, Peanuts, delivered to me this morning just as I was waking up.  Of course, there was no story attached to it.  It was simply a  tagline drifting around the tar and driftwood that masquerades as my subconscious mind.

I stayed in bed with my eyes shut pretending to be asleep for the longest time so that Peanuts would dictate the rest of the story to me but I think Peanuts needs to take a writing class or something because there was nothing more forthcoming.

So it looks like once again, Dear Reader, it seems Peanuts has left me holding the bag when it comes to thinking up some sort of scenarios for this title so here goes:

“I Was a Cow in Chuck’s Head.” The Modern Romance Story

Betty Matilda McFlirp stuck her head out of the plastic enclosure of the bus stop in the pouring rain imploring the bus to come quickly with every fiber of her being from her imploring, bovine brown eyes to her bus-magnet heart.  For if it didn’t come soon, her hair was going to frizz up something awful causing her to look more like a sheep than a cow — which was bound to change her relationship with Chuck profoundly.

“I Was a Cow in Chuck’s Head.” The Science Fiction Story

Chuck, an alien from the planet Chucktilian located three-hundred light years to the left of  the constellation Armadillo, just happened to land his  alien craft at the bus stop at which it just so happened Betty Matilda McFlirp was sticking her head out of at the time.  Their eyes met and it was love at first, second and third sight, what with Chuck having the three eyes and all.  Chuck’s mission was clear, he had to take Betty Matilda McFlirp back to planet Chucktilian or his passion for her would drive him mad.  A plan was quickly formed in which Chuck would first turn Betty into a cow and then convert her atoms into a thought form and store her in his head for the return trip. Betty agreed to this crazy scheme but only if she could obtain all rights to any future story or movie that might (or might no)t be forthcoming.

“I Was a Cow in Chuck’s Head.” The Pre-twentieth Century British Romance

Sir Chuck ChipsandSalsa, the Earl of Douchebaggary partitioned his father, The Lord of Noteggsandhamagain if he mighten marry his childhood sweetheart, Bessie and pointed into the pasture where Bessie was busy chewing and digesting her cud in that adorable way she had.  As luck would have it, Lady Betty Matilda McFlirp just happened to be sticking her head out from beneath the thatched roof of the Carriage Stop by which Bessie was standing.   Thinking that Sir Chuck was pointing to Betty, the Lord of Noteggsandhamagain was highly impressed and gave his permission that Sir Chuck and Lady Betty Matilda McFlirp would be married as soon as may be.  Years later, the couple would regale the king every chance they  got to tell the story of the mix up involving their marriage which the king thought uproariously funny right up to the very second he cut off their heads.

So there you have it dear reader.  I’m afraid these scenarios will have to suffice until I get another message from Peanuts while I’m alseep . . . if you need me, you’ll know where to find me.

Until next time . . . I love you

3 thoughts on “I Was a Cow in Chuck’s Head

  1. Of course my favorite of the three genres is the P re-twentith century British romance! I think it should be made into a movie or, failing that, at the very least a miniseries on the BBC.

    Peanuts sure thinks up some random sentences in the morn. They make for good stories!

  2. My favorite was the third as well and i say well done for only a sentence from Peanuts! they are all very entertaining. I have had that happen, a random thought that you just feel has a story to it. Although when I finally got the story and wrote it, I had not noted the sentence which had been such a wonderfulo title.( I mean really I just wrote a whole 15 pages about it who would think I wouldn’t remember the exact words? ah well. But never ignore the random thoughts I say. Keeps it interesting.
    Peace 🙂

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