science fiction

Linda’s Bedtime Stories for Grown-up Children

Linda Vernon Linda's Bedtime Stories for Grown-up Children , , , , , , , , , ,

Miss Wabble in Love

Miss Darlene Wabble brushed her long blonde hair, gazed at her reflection in the mirror and lamented the day her boyfriend, Mickey, had run off with Starina Strapazoid, the star of the Interstellar Circus Circuit and abandoned Darlene on planet Poiple to rot.

 

"Gosh I don't know why Micky ran off with that circus girl when I'm clearly the one who is double jointed."
“Gosh I don’t understand why Micky ran off with that circus girl when I’m clearly the one who is double jointed.”

Sure planet Poiple was a pretty nice place to rot as far as rotting goes — and Mickey had left Darlene everything she needed for her impending decomposition, a lifetime supply of Marie Callender Chicken Pot Pies, pirated HBO and a nice big fenced back yard to keep the pesky and dangerous Poiple Platacorns at bay, but you really couldn’t call Miss Darlene Wabble happy.  Cheerful, possibly, but let’s not split hairs so early in the story.

The dreaded nine-legged, humpbacked Poiplian Platacorn
The dreaded nine-legged, humpbacked Poiple Platacorn

One day, while Darlene was practicing her marksmanship on the Platacorns through her living room window with her high-powered, semi-automatic potato gun (a Christmas gift from Mickey), there was a knock at the door, and guess who it was? Did you guess Mickey?  Good guess!

 

Darlene's high-powered, semi automatic potato gun . . . but don't worry, guns don't kill people, potatoes do.
Darlene’s high-powered, semi automatic potato gun . . . but don’t worry, guns don’t kill people; potatoes do.

Only not Mickey, her boyfriend, but Mickey the guy who lived next door whose name was also Mickey only he spelled it Mikki which was kind of sad even for someone from planet Poiple.

Mikki had come to borrow a potato because he had his heart set on having a potato for supper even though he was completely out of potatoes but had every other kind of tuber in his pantry.  But oh no! Mikki just had to have a potato for supper which should give you some idea of what it was like living with the people on planet Poiple or the Poiplians as they referred to themselves whenever they could find a way to fit it into the conversation (which was way more important to them than it should have been).

"Hi I'm Mikki. Did I mention I'm a Poiplian? I did. Okay. Just checking."
“Hi I’m Mikki. Did I mention I’m a Poiplian? I did? Okay. Just checking.”

As soon as Mikki blurted out his request to borrow a potato, Darlene immediately handed over her high-powered, semi-automatic potato gun to Mikki.   After that Mikki invited Darlene over for supper, and they fell madly in love while Mikki was shooting out one hell of a potato salad!

One Hell of a Potato Salad
One Hell of a Potato Salad

And thus they lived happily until they died and eventually rotted but let’s don’t talk about that now.

The End.

Now go to sleep.

Oh and P.S. Try not to have nightmares about the Nine-legged, hump-backed Poiple Platacorn as they don’t even exist . . . as far as we know . . .

Friday Fictioneers: The Demise of Steen Hig

Linda Vernon The Daily Routine , , , , , , ,

Hello Dear Readers!  In this blog’s search for an upstanding noun, a decent verb and a sober adjective, no stone has been left unturned in the fertile fields of ideas.

That is why this blog was delighted to stumble upon this new writing  challenge called Friday Fictioneers hosted by the blog of Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple.

THE CHALLENGE:

Write a one-hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end (Using the picture provided for a prompt.)  

wasp-nest

The Demise of Steen Hig

Steen Hig was born in the 26th century. The computerns who tended the human incubator nests had high hopes for Steen Hig. People did too, or what was left of them since the plague.  Steen’s DNA had been microfactured to rule an empire not of people but of computers who masqueraded as people.

When Steen turned 31, the ceremonies were performed; his implants activated — while his tearful father watched.  And just like that, Steen Hig became a god.

Yet it was only a knife that brought Steen Hig to his mortal conclusion.

“Absolute power corrupts absolutely,” his father explained wiping clean the knife.

Hey that was fun!  You ought to give it a try Dear Readers!  Have a great weekend!

Until next time . . . I love you

I Was a Cow in Chuck’s Head

Linda Vernon My Brain, Peanuts , , , , , ,

“I was a cow in Chuck’s head,” is the line my brain, Peanuts, delivered to me this morning just as I was waking up.  Of course, there was no story attached to it.  It was simply a  tagline drifting around the tar and driftwood that masquerades as my subconscious mind.

I stayed in bed with my eyes shut pretending to be asleep for the longest time so that Peanuts would dictate the rest of the story to me but I think Peanuts needs to take a writing class or something because there was nothing more forthcoming.

So it looks like once again, Dear Reader, it seems Peanuts has left me holding the bag when it comes to thinking up some sort of scenarios for this title so here goes:

“I Was a Cow in Chuck’s Head.” The Modern Romance Story

Betty Matilda McFlirp stuck her head out of the plastic enclosure of the bus stop in the pouring rain imploring the bus to come quickly with every fiber of her being from her imploring, bovine brown eyes to her bus-magnet heart.  For if it didn’t come soon, her hair was going to frizz up something awful causing her to look more like a sheep than a cow — which was bound to change her relationship with Chuck profoundly.

“I Was a Cow in Chuck’s Head.” The Science Fiction Story

Chuck, an alien from the planet Chucktilian located three-hundred light years to the left of  the constellation Armadillo, just happened to land his  alien craft at the bus stop at which it just so happened Betty Matilda McFlirp was sticking her head out of at the time.  Their eyes met and it was love at first, second and third sight, what with Chuck having the three eyes and all.  Chuck’s mission was clear, he had to take Betty Matilda McFlirp back to planet Chucktilian or his passion for her would drive him mad.  A plan was quickly formed in which Chuck would first turn Betty into a cow and then convert her atoms into a thought form and store her in his head for the return trip. Betty agreed to this crazy scheme but only if she could obtain all rights to any future story or movie that might (or might no)t be forthcoming.

“I Was a Cow in Chuck’s Head.” The Pre-twentieth Century British Romance

Sir Chuck ChipsandSalsa, the Earl of Douchebaggary partitioned his father, The Lord of Noteggsandhamagain if he mighten marry his childhood sweetheart, Bessie and pointed into the pasture where Bessie was busy chewing and digesting her cud in that adorable way she had.  As luck would have it, Lady Betty Matilda McFlirp just happened to be sticking her head out from beneath the thatched roof of the Carriage Stop by which Bessie was standing.   Thinking that Sir Chuck was pointing to Betty, the Lord of Noteggsandhamagain was highly impressed and gave his permission that Sir Chuck and Lady Betty Matilda McFlirp would be married as soon as may be.  Years later, the couple would regale the king every chance they  got to tell the story of the mix up involving their marriage which the king thought uproariously funny right up to the very second he cut off their heads.

So there you have it dear reader.  I’m afraid these scenarios will have to suffice until I get another message from Peanuts while I’m alseep . . . if you need me, you’ll know where to find me.

Until next time . . . I love you