Hello Dear Readers! I had a little extra time on my hands the other day, and I just happened to be driving by the thrift store, so I dashed in for a second and came away the proud new owner of:
Handy Andy Magazine from 1980!
Now before you go thinking that Handy Andy is one of those guys who pretends to be a Handy Man as a way of getting inside your house, scoping out the place and coming back at a more convenient time to steal all your possessions and murder you, you would be wrong.
After carefully perusing this Pocket-Size Do It Yourself Guide for Everyone for blood stains and having found none, I have come to the conclusion that Andy isn’t a murderer at all but simply a misunderstood Anal Retentive handy man who can get a little peevish if somebody messes with his tools.
Let’s take a look inside shall we?
Here are some 1980 anal retentive tips sent in by some 1980 Handy Andy Magazine’s anal retentive readers:
Andrew Vena Has an Anal Retentive Suggestion to save you money!
Andrew Vena suggests reusing sanding disks by cleaning them off! It easy! You just: 1) scrape off the ridges with a knife 2) apply varnish remover 3)wait for paint to soften 4) hold the sanding disk under running water 5) remove goo with a wire brush and viola! the sanding disk will be as good as new saving you, the handyman or woman, the cost of a new sanding disk! And the best part? Every time you reuse that sanding disk, you’ll be pocketing a cool 35 cents instead of forking it over to The Man!
Mrs. Jane Johnson Writes Poignantly about Shelf Protectors!
Who else but Mrs. Jane Johnson of Minnetonka could have thought of this ingenious idea! And that is to put the plastic lids of cans that came with plastic lids on the bottom of other cans that didn’t come with plastic lids so that the cans that didn’t come with plastic lids can go under the cans with . . or maybe over the cans that, uh . . . oh who cares, she’s probably dead anyway!
Here’s a dandy Handy Andy Anal Retentive Tip from Wilfred Beaver of Sparta Wis.!
Apparently Wilfred Beaver’s shower is on the fritz again because he has to wash his hair in a lavatory and his dog’s hair in the bathtub and vice versa. And apparently Wilfred Beaver’s hair follicles are bailing out in record numbers every time he washes his hair in the lavatory and/or bathtub which has caused Wilfred Beaver to feel the need to dam his lavatory drain with “a wad of steel wood.” Oh sure it sounds gross, but it’s the kind of activity that keeps Wilfred Beaver busy. And Mrs. Wilfred Beaver isn’t complaining — so why should we?
Well, Dear Readers, that’s all the anal retentive Handy Andy tips we have time for today, but check back in tomorrow when we will be having fun explaining some of the mysterious illustrations (dont’ worry they’re not bloodstains, I’m pretty sure) included our 1980 Handy Andy Magazine!
Until next time . . . I love you
Linda Vernon Humor 
Now what will clean out the rust from keeping steel wool in your tub?
“she’s probably dead anyway”–oh man that’s cold. Hilariously cold!
I hate when my sandling discs are HOPELESSY clogged. Thank GOODNESS for handy Andy. What a wacky, zany cover for his handy book!
I know. Isn’t it weird and creepy? Butcha gotta love that Andy! 😀
ROFL!
I love when that happens! Thanks Rumpydog!!
Haha! The sanding disc tip is just what I’ve been looking for!! After I sand and paint I’m always eager for another project to put my energy into. Unclogging discs seems like time well spent–especially if you’re saving a whole 35 cents! Whoo hoo!!!!!
Haha!! And don’t forget, Lisa, that when you’re done cleaning your sanding disks you can write a letter to the Editor of Handy Man Magazine on a manual typewriter! Oh what fun people had back in the day!!
Seeing as he looks like a sexual predator, is the next volume called randy Andy?
Oh Joe Hoover I am so glad you’re eagle eye spotted that!! 😀 Ha!
I know he’s the cover pic and all, and I’m sure he does his job very well, but Handy Andy doesn’t look like a very good tool carrier.
More like a befuddled tool carrier.
And on a side note, as far as the sanding wheel, yeah, they’re cheap, but when you’re down to the last one, much easier to recycle it than making a trip to Home Depot.
Just sayin…
Your right! I know that 37 has probably spent a total of 6 or 7 years going back and forth to Home Depot. Every neighborhood needs to have a bullet train that goes just to Home Depot and back at about 600 miles an hour. I really think it would add greatly to the quality of life for men everywhere. (I’m not sure it would help Andy’s tool problem though.)
Oh, be nice. We OCD people like to keep or shelves mar-free, thank you very much!
If it’s any consolation, Heylook, I will save all my plastic lids for you and mail them to you. They may have to be redirected through Walla Walla where my relatives will spend a lot of time handling them — so you may have to chip in a little for shipping and handling. 😀
You just love your trips to the thrift store and I can picture the owner/manager/whoever….see you coming and shouting “here she comes again, wonder what she’ll find today” and feverishly think of ‘all’ the money they’ll make … lol Diane
Haha Diane! Yes! I think I am definitely their best customer and one of the ladies who works there wants to start her own blog now so I think I’m rubbing off on them! 😀
I recognized 37 on the cover– now we know his name is Andy! I also recognized that facial expression– I get the same one whenever I’m anywhere near tools… : (
Steel wool in the drain– excellent! Up till now, I’ve only been using it to stop up mouseholes and shine my shoes. Clearly, it’s more versatile than I thought. People named Beaver are naturally helpful. Why? Because they give a dam… : P
Hahaha! Mark! Beavers are naturally helpful. I know you believe that because you incorporated the helpful beaver into your banner of http://www.markarmstrongillustration.com, and it is just perfect for you becau– . . . wait . . . you changed your banner! And even though I loved the last one, I love the new one even more because it it fits your blog quite swimmingly! You’ve made a splash with that one! 😀
Swimming, chewing pencils, slapping Al Gore with my tail– I guess I’m just a Beaver at heart… : P
Thanks for the kind words about the new header. I got the idea from the rings I leave in the bathtub!! : )
LOL! It’s amazing how creativity strikes like that. I often get my best ideas while swimming laps in the bathtub! 😀